Post # 1
Decided to elope (my friend became ordained and is officiating). It will be just us and my 3 children at the ceremony and my friend who is a photographer and her husband for witnesses (out of convenience bc she is a photographer and I won’t have to pay her). My mom is upset and won’t talk to me (guessing its because my friend will be there and not her.) we only want it to be oim little family (kids and us) but obviously can’t get around needing witnesses. This is a second marriage for us both. We don’t want the whole thing- how did this become about my mom? What do I do?
Post # 3
any ideas what to say to my mom to make her calm down?
Post # 4
You do whatever you and your Fiance want. Your mother will get over it. This doesn’t require a bunch of conversation. You’ve already told your mother what you intend to do. End of discussion right there.
Post # 5
I’m eloping as well. The difference is that my family has come to expect that I will do what I want (I’m a very non-traditional person), so they didn’t even voice concerns (they may be thinking it). Utlimately, it’s your day and it’s about your comfort and happiness. If people can’t understand that, shame on them. You can’t spend your life living for other people.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@aquaelle: Is this your first weddding? Are you an only child? The first child to get married?
Mom is going to be upset if you said yes to any of the above questions. Should that change your plans? No. In all honesty it’s best not to tell friends and family you are eloping until you return from getting married. There are going to be hurt feelings because some people think weddings are a time for families to come together and eloping leaves them out.
Give your mom time to get used to the idea. She will have to get over it. Move forward with your current plans.
Post # 7
I’m non-traditional too and she knows this.
I don’t want her there, nor anyone but my kids and fiance. And that’s nothing against anyone at all, but we want this about US only. My friend who is marrying us my mom is upset by that (thinks it’s not taken seriously because she got ordained just to marry us). She also doesn’t really care for my friend that will be photographing and is pissy about her being there also.
You’re right– it’s about us, and we can’t spend our lives living for other people. Thanks.
She will need to get over her personal feelings on her own I guess.
Post # 8
@beachbride1216: Second wedding. (was the first to get married in my family the first time around). Not an only child.
The only reason I told my mom was because she kept making plans for a wedding she thought we might have later this summer and I needed her to chill on that. Also, she had gotten my girls the dresses they were going to wear, and I was going to ask for them. Now though, I think I will just get my own dresses for my girls to wear and call it a day and move on through my plans without her. :-/
Post # 9
@aquaelle: I would do exactly what you have planned.
Post # 10
Sorry your elopement is getting stressful! Good luck!
Post # 11
@aquaelle: how exciting for you… i am doing the exact same thing…. just me, my husband to be… and my 3 kids….. his friend is a pastor, my friend is a photographer….. and I think my kids can be witnesses? i need to figure that out. my kids are older though…. 15, 17, and 21.
about your mom…. i do believe she will get over it. Tell her you are wanting to focus on just you and your kids… the creation of a new family….. that’s what I’m telling others. Slightly “easier” on my part… my mom passed away and my dad…. we’re not that close. My SO’s side…. he hasn’t been married before and you’d think his family would push for a traditional wedding, but they’re not… thankfully.
We are going to have a family dinner at a later time….to celebrate together.
hope it all works out with your mom.