(Closed) Eloping in Paris – who to tell?

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@SouthGuy:  This is SO romantic! I don’t see a problem with telling the few people that are close to you two about your plans, but I definitely think the trip to Paris should involve only the two of you. What a lucky lady! Early congratulations. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@SouthGuy:  This would be MY dream wedding for sure!!! couple things tho. Do your research, it is REALLY hard to actually legally get married in Paris, ther are residency rules and religious rules etc. My FI and I look into eloping to Paris and it was just too hard to actually get married, and we didn’t just want to have a ceremonial elopement, we wanted to legally be married. Also please please please make sure that she’s ok with eloping, it would totally ruin it if she was like “but I’ve had my dream wedding planned since I was 4”.To answer your quesetion, yes I think you should tell those select few people. They wont spill the beans because they’ll realize how big of a deal it is.

Post # 6
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I was squealing with excitement when reading your post.  That is THE most amazing, romantic plan ever.  Honestly, I wouldn’t tell that many people, just because there’s a higher risk of her finding out that way, but the people closest to her should know, IMO.  Do any of them have a reputation for spilling the beans?  If so, maybe wait until closer to the date of the trip to tell that person.  I personally would want to know if this were being planned for my sister, for example, and I would absolutely keep my mouth shut knowing just how amazing this experience would be for her.

Alos, if some family members would want to be there, perhaps you can take separate flights and they can meet you all later in the day after you’ve tied the knot, which could be an additional layer to the surprise. I’m sure she’d absolutely love to see her closest family members to celebrate after that whirlwind of an experience πŸ™‚ 

 

Post # 7
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@SouthGuy:  I always dreamed of having a big wedding with all of my family and friends, but if this happened to me then I would be so ecstatic. I wish this happened to me actually, lol! Think about it, say you didn’t tell anyone and you two eloped in Paris, you two could always have a nice reception when you get back with all of your family. What my advice is, this is about you two, not either of your families, friends, etc. So, do what makes you happy! If you think she would absolutely love it then I’d do it. Plus, think of how special it would be. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I really think you should just propose in Paris, for a few different reasons. One, you said that you’re pretty sure her mother would spill, and I know that personally even if I was the type to want to elope (I’m not, I’m the type who would be like ‘OMG I’m so happy to be proposed to and I hate to ruin this for him but does he REALLY THINK I want no say over my wedding day, dress, etc?!), I would NOT be happy getting married without my immediate family and closest friends, especially my mom! So yes, I do think you would absolutely need to tell those people.

Secondly, like another bee said, you can’t just spur of the moment have a wedding in Paris if you’re from the US – it is very complicated and there are forms that must be filled out here in the US by both of you before you even leave for Paris. Obviously you can’t do that and have it be a surprise. You said it can just be a romantic ceremony and that you’ll ‘formalize it’ (AKA really get married) when the two of you get home. Is she going to be okay with that, or find it to be very confusing? Some bees on here have had two weddings and don’t mind at all, but others (myself included) feel like the legal wedding is the real one, and wouldn’t really get the point of your whole plan.

Post # 12
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@SouthGuy:  Hey there fellow Aussie! Your plan does sound fantastically romantic but agree that elopeing overseas is quite difficult. We eloped to Santorini Greece and had to lock in dates for the wedding terrace, the celebrant, photographer, hair & makeup artist, town hall, florist etc. about 8 months in advance, not to mention sending off passports, no advidavit to marriage forms blah blah blah. Paperwork alone cost us $1000 and had to be done within 3 months of travelling. Santorini is also considered one of the easiest places to elope abroad. It probably can be done, but you need time, a fantastic wedding coordinator and your partners signature.

Alternatively, you could propose in Paris and plan the wedding for when you return.? Like 2 weeks after you propose..? That way if she says yes you can say, fantastic, you have 2 weeks to find a dress and the rest is a surprise. You can invite some special people to a ‘secret’ Aussie wedding. Maybe do a Parisian theme and have a reception at a French restaurant that has a bit of room for a dancefloor. She might want to do a first dance and father daughter dance. You can invite the ‘special’ people and have them KEEP THEIR MOUTH SHUT before you even go away. Her bestie can buy a bridesmaid dress. You can organise a wedding cake. The whole shebang but without the hoardes…?  Where abouts in Aus are you?

Post # 13
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@SouthGuy:  Would she get a wedding dress? I think I would be sad to not get my wedding dress experience.

Post # 14
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would be so sad not to have my mom and close family there..also no wedding dress shopping? These are things you definitely want to think about !

To me if you are not even going to get legally married in paris, its like playing house. Nothing really happened. It’s a super romantic idea and all but for me even though I am obsessed with France, I would be confused and a tad upset if nobody was there and I didnt get to go dress shopping.

Will you have pressure from the family to have a ceremony anyways when you get back ? Thats definitely something else to think about as well!

Post # 15
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you’re in Sydney, L’Etoile French Restaurant in Paddington would be a fabulous reception venue for a small goup. It looks lovely from outside if you look on Google Street View. You could have the ceremony at nearby Centennial Parklands for fairly cheap. They are a 7 minute drive apart.

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