Post # 1
Just looking for people to share their experiences in eloping. We are looking to elope and giving ourselves a few months to plan. We plan on eloping without anyone – just going away over a weekend. Wondering about the following – what kind of dress to wear; flowers; photographer; etiquette for notifying family & friends (do we send a card to notify people? what’s the timing of this notification); is it customary to throw a party?<br />The whole point of us eloping instead of having a more traditional wedding is that we don’t want to spend the money (because we have none) and we don’t want to deal with what the extended family is going to demand of us… any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!
Post # 2
- Wedding: Dreams Resort and Spa, Puerto Aventuras, Mexico
I’ve known a few people that have eloped like this, and they absolutely loved it! As far as dress and flowers, they varied based on what people wanted, but none of them made a huge deal out of it. The photography is where most of them spent a bit, but usually photographers will give you a break for an elopement ceremony because it’s much less of their time. As far as notification, I believe the etiquette is to send announcements as soon as you get home. They don’t have to be super elaborate or anything, but including a wallet-sized photo from your ceremony is a nice touch for the more sentimental family members. I haven’t known anyone that threw a party afterward. Hope this helps!
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
I wore an ivory tulle and lace sundress from Target, cost less than $30. I carried a cluster of tulips I bought at the grocery store on the way there. For my photographer, my best friend/MOH took a couple dozen snapshots on her iPhone (this is my only regret, I would’ve liked to have had more photographs, but it was arranged in haste and happened in City Hall so hard to organize a photographer on short notice.)
We’re throwing a one-year anniversary party and inviting everyone; even with 175+ guests it will be cheaper than a “traditional” wedding would be! This is not a requirement, though, just our opportunity to celebrate in the way we’d envisioned (food, dancing, drinks without the drama or pageantry of a wedding.) We never mailed a formal announcement, just called out friends/family and posted a couple pictures on social media.
Post # 4
DO IT. Seriously, just do it. <br /><br />I have NO regrets about eloping. My husband and I had been engaged for over a year, and had the same “no money” issue. We decided to do it last minute, and went on a cruise. Just the two of us. We gave his family and my family no notice, but his step father, mother, and my mother and sister flew out to our destination to help us tie the knot. <br /><br />I realize that if I had gotten married with nobody around me, I would have been very sad about it. Having those few immediate family members present really made all of the difference. Neither of our fathers were able to attend and my husbands brother wasnt able to come, and I know they are upset about that. <br /><br />Eloping gave us a chance to do it our way, and spend our money how we wanted. For us, it was important to get wedding rings that we really loved. I had already purchased my dress, which was a considerable amount more than many dresses, my shoes and my veil, so I paid for those things that I really wanted to have. We paid for an amazing photographer, and the photographer sold us on a highlight video. <br /><br />Because we have such beauitful photos, and a video, we were able to announce to the rest of the family that we eloped, and still help them feel like they were there with us. We created a website on theknot.com which allowed us to share our experience and explain to the family why we did it the way we did so people wouldnt have their feelings hurt. We also created a guestbook so people could sign it, and have links to registries, because his family was asking if we registered anywhere. I know its kind of a backwards way to do it, but the stress of planning a wedding ended up being too much for me to handle. <br /><br />We were able to coordinate it all in 4 days, and go on a week long cruise. Even though my DH says that the cruise was not our honeymoon, it was still wonderful to get away from the stress of life, and be able to relax and just enjoy eachothers time and presence. <br /><br />You should be able to do what ever you want on your wedding. A lot of brides wear a cheap dress and tone down their wedding to make it match the atmosphere of an elopement. Since I already had all of my items and wanted to get married in my dream dress, I did. I wore $600 shoes to the beach, and jumped in the water with my dress. If you wanna go all out on an outfit, do it. If you don’t, then don’t!<br /><br />As far as announcements about your wedding, I would suggest you get them out within a month. We were bad about this. If you want to have a reception, it would be good to send out the invitation with the announcements. We did not have a reception because that kind of defeated the whole purpose of avioding the wedding planning and saving money. We still havent given up the idea of having a reception at our 1 year mark. We also decided to try and go on a honeymoon on our 1 year aniversary.
Post # 5
My husband and I had a planned elopement (although we usually call it a private wedding because we did tell everyone ahead of time we were getting married). It was just the two of us, the priest, the musician and the photographer. The ceremony, music and photography were well thought out as we planned it over about 6 months. I wore an informal custom wedding gown and had a gorgeous bouquet, my husband wore a 3-piece black suit and boutteneire. The only other decorations were provided by mother nature and the venue. We took a brief honeymoon, and have two more trips planned this year.
Our reasons: We were both married before and both have family issues that we did not want to deal with again. I also had some friend jealousy/drama going on that was hurtful and I just refused to have that negative energy present at my wedding. We did not want to spend a large amount of money to have a party for other people who really don’t care about you a week later. We did make a beautiful slideshow from our photos (including our actual wedding music) and sent it to all those we wanted to share the day with.
Five weeks later, most of our friends, neighbors, coworkers, and some of my family, have not acknowledged our marriage at all, not even a simple card to say congratulations. So we know we made the right choice for us.
Post # 6
MinBride29: We eloped because we’d both been married before and didn’t care to go through the whole rigmarole again. We drove down to the hill country outside of Austin and had a local JP perform the ceremony. I wore a cotton strapless sundress from Macy’s ($60) and cowboy boots. He wore jeans, a pearl snap and his boots. I wore a simple flower in my hair and he wore his cowboy hat that he alway wears. I wasn’t going to have flowers, but at the last minute I decided to have some for the photos. I went to the grocery store floral section and spent $4 on flowers that really looked like wildflowers. I brought them back to the hotel and tied them up with ribbon and burlap. We did hire a professional photographer since we didn’t have anyone attend.
Instead of an announcement (because really, once anything hits facebook there’s really no need to spend money on announcements) we had our photographer take a picture with my cell phone of us holding a sign that said “we eloped.” That’s what we sent to family and friends to let them know. 😀 You can see it in my avatar.
Post # 7
MinBride29: do it!!!!!! I just eloped and am so so happy. We found a woman who married us, brought my bouquet and took our pics. She charged 300 and the pics are amazing- it was on a cliff over a lake…. So pretty and worth it!!!