eloping…does this bother anyone else?

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
5333 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MsGinkgo:  Yeah, I notice that too.  I think the reality is that the definition of eloping is kind of evolving?  I think that’s legit, language does that, espeically inside niche communities like this.

I try to have some understanding because I’m (GASP!) one of those people who had a civil ceremony seperate from my actual wedding.  Many people would say that I therefore had a vow renewal.  I would tell those people to go eff themselves.  I’m sure the elopment people feel the same way.

Post # 4
1771 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Eh. I think the common definition of eloping has changed over the years, since most people now don’t need parental consent to get married, so it’s not like they have to run away and do it in secret before Mommy and Daddy find out, you know?

The way I see it, eloping just means getting married by yourselves or with a very small group of family/friends.

Post # 5
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsGinkgo:  it TOTALLLY bugs me lol i always wonder if im the only one lol 

Post # 6
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MsGinkgo:  I still consider my ceremony an elopement because we aren’t having a traditional wedding. I sure got the elopement price, so it must be true, lol. We are bringing my parents but only to act as witnesses. No one else is invited.

In the end, it’s all just semantics.

Post # 8
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MsGinkgo:  Nope…it annoys me too.There’s someone that is doing this that reallly annoys me, but I won’t mention her name 🙂 Often, people want the attention that a wedding brings without having to host guests.

Post # 9
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I don’t really consider our wedding an elopement since pretty much everyone knows our plans.  I had another friend marry a few years ago and it was a small ceremony and I wouldn’t consider hers one either.

Post # 10
1268 posts
Bumble bee

@MsGinkgo:  It bothered me in the sense that I was confused for quite a while. I thought eloping was secretly getting married w/out parental knowledge/consent. :/

Post # 11
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Eehhhhh I think people can do what they want and call it what they want if it makes them happy. It’s just like a post someone made about how they were annoyed someone was going on a “honeymoon” 6 months after the wedding. Does it really matter?

Post # 12
1548 posts
Bumble bee

@MsGinkgo:  I agree with u! The whole excitement of eloping is the fact that nobody knows except the couple MAYBE a friend but like another pp said definitions change with time but definitely waters down the spontaneity of it

Post # 13
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

So, what do you call it then? A small wedding? A regular wedding? What if it is just the couple and two witnesses? I don’t know what’s “right” but I think it’s a silly thing to get fussed about.

Post # 14
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MsGinkgo:  Actually I have the opposite issue. DH and I planned a wedding. We planned for several months to get married on a trip to New York. I bought a dress, we ordered a cake, flowers, dinner reservations etc. It was a planned wedding, but we didn’t invite anyone but us. 

Everyone was a borderline @$$hole about it. They acted like because *they* weren’t invited that it was an elopment, or that we weren’t going to go through with it. Kid you not, every time one of us talked to family for like two months they’d be like “So, ya still planning to do that or did you table it?” “Um, no. I’ve spent almost 2k on a dress and alterations. We’re getting married.” 

So – maybe it’s more that other people force the word “elopment” on a wedding that doesn’t fit their own ideas of what a wedding should be. I’ve gotten stuck saying “planned elopment” on the bee a bunch of times because otherwise people get super weird about it. 

Post # 15
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Doesn’t bother me one bit.  I feel like very few people actually elope in the traditional sense, ie running away and doing it without their families knowledge or permission.  If it is just the couple going to city hall by themselves, or if they want to go away and have a trip and spend as much money as some people do on a wedding with guests, I think that all fits with what an elopment has come to mean.

Post # 16
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

the dictionary definition doesn’t really matter

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