(Closed) Email from old ex-friend…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TopazTurtle:  I think it’s fine to give her one more chance.  Just realize that it’s probably going to end the same hurtful way again.

Ask yourself if you are willing to go through that same pain for a chance to fix the friendship.

Post # 4
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

This is odd. Even before these outbursts happened, was she actually a good friend? Try not to have rose-colored glasses over what kind of friendship you had. Her behavior is extremely bizarre, and I would even suggest the possibility of a mental illness. She’s swinging wildly between two extremes – “I’m sorry, forgive me” – and then being inexplicably nasty to you, unless there’s something you’ve done that we don’t know about.

What are the odds that this could end well? I’m bordering on ignoring her plea and distancing yourself from her to save yourself future trouble. If you do want to go forward anyway, I’d have a frank talk with her about her behavior and how this will be the last time you will ever put up with it.

Post # 5
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@TopazTurtle:  that is such odd behavior. Do you think she has a mental illness? What does her brother think about all this?

Post # 8
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

That’s very bizarre. If you really want to, I would give her another chance but guard your heart because it will probably end the same way. It really does sound to me like she may have an untreated mental illness.

Post # 9
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

if it were me, I think I’d just choose to ignore the email.

 

I don’t think I’d want to give her another chance to make me feel like a fool.

Post # 10
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would just let the friendship go. I think it would be more painful for you to try to rekindle this and have it end badly again.

Post # 11
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

She sounds very unstable, I wouldn’t bother.

Post # 12
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I would ignore her email. She’s had her chances.

Post # 13
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know it’s could be considered a cynical way to go through life, but it keeps the drama out for me:  I’m a “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” kind of gal.  Real friends don’t run you through the ringer.  If you’ve been fine without her, I’d let it go.  The chances of you getting your old friend back are slim to none.

I agree with the possible mental illness.

Post # 14
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Since it’s been so long. . . I would just try your best to ignore the e-mail. No sense in getting hurt again, if possible.

Post # 15
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I feel like, if you did choose to speak to her, I would be very clear right from the get-go. Tell her you won’t be putting up with any bullshit, that you would love for her to be the friend she was before (before all the hermit-like behavior).

Then I would probably still keep my heart protected, but she may really be looking for someone to help her, and personally, I don’t know if I could just turn away from someone who was once my friend like that.

Not saying you’d be wrong (AT ALL) if you did not want to continue or try again, because what she did was bad.

Post # 16
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…

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