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So, ummm, does anybody else abstain when Aunt Flo comes to vist? I'm just curious. We do but it's not working out so well for either one of us. With the exception of a couple of bad days, it wouldn't bother me to keep up with our usual activities. But my fiance is hesitant. I don't think it's so much that he's grossed out about it, but I think it's more that it'as a mystery. He doesn't have any sisters and I'm the only woman he's lived with other than his mom. So the whole womanly, Aunt Flo, down there things-he's totally clueless. But he gets frustrated and whines about it. So how do I talk to him about this without totally embarassing the both of us?
And yes, I'm sitting here alone in my house with a red face. My bff is very very modest and doesn't like to talk about these things. And I'm not going to talk about it with my FMIL!
HAHA I understand. My best friend has never dated anyone so it's hard to talk about anything relationship wise with her.
Fortunately my FI is very understanding and no, we don't. Just personal preference. If your FI gets so antsy about it and doesn't want to, then explain that there are certain days that yes, it's out of the question. Too much "fun" going on at the moment. It all depends on how light you are during your cycle and when. IMHO, if he can't wait several days or even a week but still whines about it, then he needs to make up his mind HAHA It's one or the other because you can't tell the party to stop just because he wants to get busy.
Hope that helps!
Sometimes. It's fine, just a bit messy. Just put a towel underneath you and it's all good. :)
I always wait. I just prefer to keep the house as clean and tidy as possible when Aunt Flo is visiting and she only visits for 3-4 days so I can wait. LOL
I think it's a matter of personal preference and whatever makes you guys comfortable. Aunt Flo's visit doesnt have to rule everything out though obviously so the waiting doesn't always have to feel so long.
We don't abstain at all, but my period is very light. I've found that it also helps with my cramps and general moodiness!
I think it's different for everyone and all personal preference. I've had exes who totally did not mind at all and we definitely did during that time without any qualms. I've also dated guys who totally DID mind. With my fi, we sometimes do but not often, and not when Aunt Flo is more.. err... prominently visiting than others. It's usually because I don't really want to though, not because he minds too much. When we do we put down a towel.
I think my advice is to not worry about what other couples do and don't do because everyone is different and it's completely personal preference. It just is a bummer that your fi whines about not doing it when you have it but also doesn't want to. I would suggest trying it on one of your lighter days and maybe he'll see it's not so bad. Also, the best thing you can do is be honest and talk about it.. don't be shy with him about it!! You're getting MARRIED- he's going to see you at your worst and eventually something as insignificant as Aunt Flo's visit will be nothing! So start talking now! Don't be embarassed, we all go through it!! Good luck!
We usually don't when we've got a visitor. It's not that we're against it, I'm just a little worried about making a mess in our bed. We also use towels to keep things neat and tidy, when we do it on my period.
We, um, usually abstain. I used to be fine with it before we actually started having intercourse (back when we were just touching) but nowadays I get really shy about it. My fiance wants to try, but he made the mistake last time of admitting that he was a little grossed out about the blood (he...umm...doesn't deal well with blood; let's just say that our birthing experience will be INTERESTING, to say the least), so I'm still on the abstaining end of thing. It doesn't bother me to wait (plus I don't want to deal with the mess), and if he whines too much I glare at him.
sometimes we do sometimes we don't. just depends on how it's going that month. sometimes i like to wait it out though- whole new experience after a few days :)
We don't abstain on the lighter days, on the heavier days we make use of alternative methods of intimacy ...
my hormones go into overdrive at that time! anyways, my hubby is a bit more shy about sex than i am so it gives me a good excuse to seduce him while in the shower and he doesnt complain... poor man, im nothing like any of his ex's but im not a fan of twister in the bed during my periods
I guess it's different for everyone, but to me that is just gross (not trying to be mean, it just grosses me out). I've been with multiple guys and with every one I've abstained during that week. I don't get my period anymore (I go from one pack of BC right to the next) so it't not really an issue for us anymore. But I agree with what monalisa said. Do your own thing, only you and your guy know what you're comfortable with. Plus for me, sometimes I could use a week-long Twister break.
We tried it back early on when we didn't get to see each other more than a week every few months, but it grossed hubby out (it was kind of nasty), but I'm on birth control pills now so my period is lighter. We won't do anything right in the middle of it, but towards the end it's usually ok.
We do (did; now pregnant) abstain, mostly by his choice. On the heavy/first days, I am all for abstaining, I feel gross and I want ice cream more than nooky. After that, though, I am kind of cranky that he insists on waiting until I am TOTALLY done, because at that point I was usually, um, quite ready. :) But that was during our newlywed "Oh my gosh sex is awesome!!!1" stage so I don't know how it will change down the road.
We do, but only bc my FI isn't comfortable with all that going on. I personally don't have a problem tho, so we're in a similar situation to you!
We don't abstain on purpose, although some days I won't be in the mood (but that can happen anytime of the month). We use a towel on the bed, or do it in the shower where we can both rinse right away :) Most of my friends abstain too. I find that a bit odd. If I want it, I want it and I don't like to deny myself anything that's good for me :) FH doesn't care at all and to be honest I think I would be hurt if he was bothered by it. (And yes he does have a problem with blood - he has been known to faint from pictures or descriptions of medical procedures!) Do whatever you and your partner are comfortable with - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks but I'd say if you're unsure, give it a go and see how things are. You never have to do it again if it's awful!
For the most part we abstain, but every so often we don't want to. When that's the case it's usually, "Hmmm...I think I'm going to take a shower...", "Oh really? I could use one too..." Makes for very easy clean up not to mention it's a good way to switch things up. ;-)
The shower is always a good way to indulge during Aunt Flo's visit ... me and Mr Mini almost always shower together, it makes getting ready in the morning way more fun ... but way less efficient!
Ya, We tend not to do it during that week. I prefer not to.
Otherwise I would say maybe in the shower... or up the other hole. LOL
Just sayin'
We don't. but what we DO do is celebrate him for a few extra days (like 3-4 out of the month). We call it (insert FI's name her) Week. He thinks its great..and returns the "favors" when Flo has packed her bags and left.
I always abstain. Just my personal preference--I find it very icky. Actual intercourse is not the only thing you can do, though!
@CurlySue...."It's one or the other because you can't tell the party to stop just because he wants to get busy." Hehehehe, that totally cracked me up, I'm going to start referring to Aunt Flo as a party!
My second husband did not mind a bit. We just used a towel and took a shower afterwards. With my FI, we just do it in the shower!
Wow what a lot of different opinions and options here. We'll have to try to work something out. I like Belle's idea of celebrating him for a few days. And I'm all for him returning the favor!
Thanks for the advice ladies!
We let Aunt flo visit in peace! He isn't keen on it, I'm indifferent, so that is how it will be! apparently it is supposed to be nicer because of the extra 'sensation' of Aunt Flo being around ;)
Edit: I pay him some care and attention during this time
Extremely embarrasing answer: i agree with baffled111, it helps like northernazbride said but sometimes i just celebrate him like bellenga said. In my defense (), we had never played twister when we got married, so we really like to experiment.
It's just not worth it to me. I can go a couple of days without sex. Hell, we have a 5 year old...we go more then that most of the time. :)
If I'm in the mood, DH gets some me time if he's around. He's pretty happy about that.
We abstain, it's never even been a question. Neither of us are really interested in going there anyway, like some others I think it's a little gross. Not a prude, totally comfortable with my body and bodily functions but "auntie" only comes to town for 3 days anyway.
Miss Pizzelle--right on!
So yes, we don't. Unless FI gets really, really cranky. And then there's always the shower. :)
Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. It depends on how I am feeling. I am on birth control and it sometimes makes me queesy. Neither of us are grossed out by the blood, and we can always hop in the shower right after. = )
FI takes my lead on this one. If I feel like its light enough to not be messy, we'll do it. I don't think its gross - we barely notice it on light days, and have never had an issue getting the sheets dirty. I think it helps if you wear a tampon and take it out right before you get busy. I know FI said his ex wore pads and it was really messy the one time they tried it when she was on your period, so I think that makes a big difference.
I also recommend shower sex, or just showering together right after.
Another thing to consider: There's a product called a Diva Cup that you can insert sort of like a diaphragm that collects the blood. A lot of women use them instead of tampons or pads, but its a good option for those of you with heavy flows that would like to still get busy during that time of the month! You just pull it out when you're done and the blood pours out into the toilet... a little messy but saves your sheets and might make your SO happy and you comfortable :)
I honestly think women have been socially conditioned to be embarrassed about their periods and feel like periods are yucky. They're normal and not that much grosser than the other bodily fluids flying around during sex! I think its important to be able to openly communicate with your partner about these types of things. tessabella, you should definitely talk with your FI about it - but maybe ease him in with a shower session, or by getting a Diva Cup. But like others have said, he should know that there's days that are lighter, and that most women don't bleed buckets on their periods!
ooh thats nothing I am off the pill now so my cycle is irregular--I may be getting mine on the wedding night! aw man
I think its a matter of personal preferance. However the important thing is that you two get comfy with talking about things. I'm going on my second marriage (first one lasted 25 yrs) and this time around is different. We talk about anything. It's awesome that we can do that! Try with easier things and work up to the tough stuff!
Ah, well, now that i'm on bc all the time i don't have this issue. We used to though. it was always really hard b/c my hormones would be on high, but it really weirded him out. He was terribly uncomfortable with the idea of how MUCH there was. And it got everywhere, so we only did that once. I think it just disturbed him a little bit to see that particular bodily fluid all over himself. Mine was insanely heavy though...so I'm sure that was the biggest factor. But aunt flo would be in town for 7 long, long days, too. Ah, thank goodness I got on birth control 24/7.
Over all, I have heard from friends that most guys don't mind and think it's hot that their woman is more turned on during their period. They like to be pursued, too =]. We would resort to being more intimate in regards to him like most said above, but he was generally very considerate of the fact that he didn't want to be overly selfish, and, since I usually took vicodin for the whole week i was on my period, I was usually feeling really miserable anyways and he ended up bringing me heating pads more often than us being sexy, lol. So, aunt flo time would end up being "take care of me time", lol.
Shower sex sounds like a good solution though. I recently discovered silicone lube is of course, water resistant. Genius.
I never really thought about it. We just never do during that time. He can tell when it's on its way (I'm a grump when I PMS and I usual tell him that I'm PMSing and apologize for being so awful) so he just doesn't ask. And when it's all over, after like 4 days, it's got a bit of the first time magic to it. :)
FI & I do not do anything during those days either. Usually he just gives me back rubs. I think he thinks that Aunt Flo causes me a lot more pain than it actually does. Not that I'm complaining that he essentially treats me like a queen those days... lol.
We do when it's not that heavy. He says it doesn't bother him, and one day we started cracking up laughing cuz it left a heart shaped red mark around his you-know-what lol. It does help with cramps if you orgasm because it helps your cervix contract, puching out more of the blood and possible clots that may be hanging on. Sounds too descriptive, but it's really not that big of a deal. Quick wipe clean up, and you are good to go. And you don't have to worry about lube!
I mainly wait until my light days, because I don't like the feeling when it's heavy. plus, when you are on your period, or like the day before, your hoo-haw is a lot tighter than normal, which works out great for him. So he doesn't mind the quick clean-up, and sometimes there really isn't any if we plan it right! :)
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