(Closed) Embarrassed not to have a family – Long

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am so sorry for what you have been put through, and glad you have turned out so well and are marrying a wonderful man. You deserve it! 

Never ever feel embarassed, when you explained your situation, my heart went out to you.  Why would your FMIL or others feel different?  I would explain your past and your reluctance to involve your family, your FMIL will understand and it will bring you closer.

I was a date at a wedding where the bride had no family what so ever, and the groom had a huge family. I did not know what her situation was, because I did not know her. Everyone’s hearts went out for this girl, they were so happy for that she found a husband and a welcoming family. It was very touching.  Not one guest asked about her family not being there; everyone just fell in love with her and was rooting for her happiness.

I am so happy that you found the love you deserve; good luck to you and your new family!

Post # 4
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee

Im sorry!  Are you comfortable enough with your FMIL that you can explain to her about your family?  Or that your FI would be able to?  I think its so nice that they are so welcoming to you and really want you to be a part of their family.

Post # 5
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Your FMIL sounds like a great lady who won’t judge you because of your family. I’d try to explain the situation to her as best as you can. You don’t even need to tell her the story all at once. You can also have your FI give her a little insight as well if you don’t feel comfortable talking to her directly.

There is no shame in not having any family at your wedding!

Post # 7
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry to hear about your relationship strains with your mom.

I don’t know if this will help you in anyway but the way I see it is, as you grow up your family changes. Sometimes you become closer to the family God gave you and sometimes you create yourself a new family. And I don’t really think that one is better than the other. My family is more than just my parents and my sisters, its the friends I have made along the way and in a lot of those cases… their families. Don’t be embarrassed about not having a traditional family! You should be proud of the life you’ve made for yourself … a lot people aren’t as grounded or lucky as you. 

Post # 9
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

(Hugs).  I think it’s understandable to have some of these feelings surface around wedding time.  (As you catch stories of brides doing this or that with their moms, and guest lists involving extended family.)  But think how wonderful your FI family is, and how lucky you are to be marrying into a family that you can now call yours.  It’s too bad you all will be living far from each other.

It sounds like they’re great.  If you feel like you can tell FMIL about the situation, I would.  I can’t imagine that she won’t find out there’e something up with your mom, eventually.  But I guess you have to figure out if it’s the right time.

Good luck.

Post # 11
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

wildstyle, I’m so glad that you found such a loving family!  When people ask about how excited your family is, maybe tell them the same thing you told us–your best friend-practically family-is saying it will be the most exciting day of HIS life.  Who wouldn’t grin about that? 

Post # 13
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

wildstyle, I am so sorry that you’re feeling badly.  I also have a very small family but over the years I have learned that sometimes the family that counts the most is the one you CHOOSE…and with your lovely future in-laws, and friends traveling halfway around the world to celebrate your love, well – it sounds to me as if you have a WONDERFUL family.  I hope you have a very joyous celebration with them on your big day.  We look forward to being part of planning it and I am sure you’ll find some more "virtual" family here at Weddingbee who will excitedly share in your big day from afar!

Best,-Lori

Post # 15
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Wear them both- one to the ceremony and one to the reception!  I am so happy to hear you are doing well!  Enjoy this wonderful andunique time in your life!

Post # 16
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

You can be honest and blunt without going into too much detail. Just say, “my family wont be involved we re not very close” thats it, and tell ur fiance to tell his family not to ask

The topic ‘Embarrassed not to have a family – Long’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors