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i just knocked a glass of water in front of me and it completely broke. this JUST happened lol.
In my first month of working at my office I got my left heel of my shoe caught in the right shoe and fell over onto the ground...and then I cried (I couldn't help it the tears just started flowing). In front of my whole office.
Awesome!
One of our reports we sent to customers used to have bright red, yellow, and green colors on it. Last year the product was modified and I was reviewing some final changes when I saw that the colors had been changed from bright red to a light coral, from bright yellow to this hideously ugly mustard yellow/green color, and from bright green to a grayish green.
I called a manager to my desk and our conversation went like this:
Me: "Did you see this new color scheme? I think someone in R&D screwed up. It looks like someone vomited on the report."
Manager: "No....actually I asked for those colors."
Hahaha it was so embarrassing!
once i was really sick and my nose ran so much. i also had clients and when i was in a meeting with one, i didn't have tissue on me. my snot dripped from my nose and onto the table!
@babybluz: LOL did anyone hear you?
@R.Elliott: awww... did anyone say anything?
Quiet shared office, loud fart. I really hope my officemate is hard of hearing....
@R.Elliott: i've done that! except my heel got caught inside the pant cuff. and we have hardwood at the office, so splat!
This is horrible. I share an office with someone and he ALWAYS does this and I ALWAYS smell it! He was doing this weird protein only diet once, nothing but meat, no veggies no carbs nothing. That was a hard few weeks for me. He would always let one go and I would feel bad getting up and leaving. I had to sometimes though because it really gets unbearable.
At one of my previous workplaces, I was walkin' out of the washroom's front door and I opened the door onto my face!! And someone was on the other side and tried to control their laugh. Yes, I opened the door to exit and hit my own face! 
@tranquility: Yeah everyone laughed...including myself. But it was so awkward because I had JUST started working there and none of us new eachother that well!
Plus I like fell into the corner of the room so it was extra pathetic.
Ripped a six inch hole down the back of my skirt and walked around for two hours like that before anybody had the guts to tell me that although my blue and white lacy underwear was cute, it wasn't work appropriate. I ALMOST didn't go back to work.
@R.Elliott: oh the infamous fall into the corner. I am glad they could at least laugh it off.
@tranquility: Yuk!! Luckily our office has a really tall divider.
I work in a security office and I was escorting an employees husband up to her desk (she just returned from having a stroke, she is very young and it was a very solemn convo this gent and I were having) and I got the heel of my shoe caught in the cuff of my suit and stumbled and literally almost fell down. the poor man caught me and had to lift me back up. "are you ok miss? are you ok?" all I could think of to recover was "wow, that was slick". uber-professional.
LOL these make me laugh!
My first week at my current job I was standing by my desk and passed right out flat on my face. Apparently my blood sugar was low. Not only that, but I bit my lip so hard when I fell it was bleeding and then swollen for like 2 weeks, they called an ambulance who basically lifted up my shirt while I was laying on the floor for everyone to see...by far the most humiliating feeling!!! I felt like such a freak!!! LOL
I shared my office with two other girls when we were in a temporary office building while ours was being remodeled, and one day I was on the phone scheduling an interview with someone when I heard a loud DONK and I turned around and one girl was on the floor because she'd fallen out of her chair and was looking at the other girl like it was her fault. Right in the middle of telling this interviewee how to get to our offices, I busted out laughing and then, because I could think of nothing else to say, I said, "Sorry, my coworker just fell out of her chair." It still makes me laugh when I think about it, but I felt super unprofessional afterward and I doubt he took me very seriously in the interview.
I got drunk at a work function (previous employer) and kissed my DH (then new BF) in front of all my bosses and clients. I think I might have almost gotten fired for that and I have never felt so embarrased before.
I also had a coughing fit at a client meeting and literally had to get up and leave the conference room to go find water. I needed the clients to help me because the meeting was in their office where i had never been before. And I was coughing so bad I couldn't even speak. Very random, I wasn't even sick, it must have been really dry or something.
Oh and also, one of my bosses was buying new computers for the office and he took one of the interns to the store with him because UT students got like a 15% discount at Apple with their student ID. So they came back to the office and my boss was talking about how it was weird because he clearly was the one buying the computers but they used the intern's ID and I said, "Well they probably just thought you were her dad." She was 22, he was like 35. As soon as I said it I was like, FML.
I once tipped over an entire mug full of coffee onto my desk and then it spilled onto my pants. I was chatting to a colleague and I must have gestured too earnestly and knocked it over.
Thank god my boss wasn't there (I was an assistant and he was extremely strict about me being at my desk at all times to answer the phone). I ran to H&M which was down the street and bought some stretchy jeans for $50.
It was so embarrassing though, as if I didn't have control of my own limbs.
My old boss caught me giving head to my ex in our parking lot when I worked nights. He laughed about it the next day, but after that he always gave me these weird looks. Oh and he high fived my ex at a grocery store a week later. lol
@babybluz: lol re farting when coughing - this is one of my fears.
This didn't happen to me but to a good friend and it cracks me up when I think about it. She went downstairs to the toilet and the stairs are an open staircase may I add, which lead to an open area where there are workers. Anyway, on her way back up the stairs from the toilet she noticed a guy watching her and nearly back at her desk she realised her dress was tucked into her knickers. OMG!
My second week at my current job I slipped on the ice getting out of my car and actually broke my wrist. I had to call a few coworkers and ask them to drive me to the hospital. I missed three days of work and had to leave often for doctor appointments and physical therapy. I felt terrible. Now we laugh about it, especially since the 1 year anniversary of my fall is coming up... but at the time it was horrible! I was so embarassed.
I fell asleep in a work meeting once. Um, it might have been during my first week too. I was finishing up my thesis for grad school that week, so I think they cut me a little slack. It was SO embarrassing.
ohhheavenlyday reminded me of another thing that happened: I was attending a work party at a coworker's apartment, and my boss (who is 20 years older than me) arrived at the same time as I did, so we walked in together. When he stated our names to the front desk concierge so that we could go up to the party, the concierge said: "So Mr. (Smith), is Miss Burgundy your guest tonight?" My boss turned scarlet and said "No! That would be inappropriate!" I tried so hard to hold in my laughter...
This just happened yesterday. I was sitting in my office working and i hear a HUGE crash sound. Everyone comes running out of their offices into the hallway. We look into an office and found someone had driven their car into our building. We run out to see if the person was okay and it was a girl who worked here. She is fine and everything but she was so embarassed!
@blondeeebuckeye: I have actually seen my coordinator do this a few times during meetings.
@ohheavenlyday: It's happened to me a few times that I will be reading something online and then someone will call and I will answer the phone with something random from what Im reading!
@Miss Tattoo: That's pretty awesome! lol
@PuntaCanaBride: omg driving into a building has got to be worst than anything
Two stories, both at a previous job:
My first week there (right out of college), I went into the storage room to sneak a piece of candy from the stash they had there. When I opened the bag, a mouse jumped out. I ran out of the storage room screaming at the top of my lungs, and the entire office looked at me like "who the hell is the crazy new girl?"
A few months later, I was talking with some coworkers about gross food that their SO's eat. Well, my DH (boyfriend at the time) is Canadian, and they have a food there called Poutine (french fries, gravy, cheese curd). However, my DH and his friends always change the name because they're immature. So I shout out "my boyfriend likes to eat Poutang!" Everyone just stopped and stared at me with jaws open. To this day if I run into someone I used to work with, they'll say "hey, that's the Poutang girl!"
@CanAmBride:LMAO that is classic! Something off a movie...
i asked my boss at the time if his wife was drunk at the office christmas party. She wasn't....she had actually just had a baby and she was a VERY bubbly person. It's like I had a brain fart and thought it was an appropriate speculation to ask HIM. Luckily he laughed and said, "no, she's just FAR more social than us. She's obviously not an engineer". But I was pretty mortified such an inappropriate question slipped out of my mouth.
But as far as anything physically embarassing--nope, not yet. I work with a bunch of men and I overhear a lot of gross conversations and the older man near me farts in the morning, so I can't imagine there is a lot of stuff I could do that would get me shunned.
One more embarrassing work story that didn't happen to me, but definitely takes the cake!
A girl i used to work with went out with a bunch of coworkers during her first week. The next day she was very hung over, and ended up sitting in the conference room for half the day with a waste basket. When she finally did get sick, one of my coworkers captured it in stop-motion photography on his iPhone and would show it to just about every new hire as in "don't be like this girl your first week here."
Wow, that totally blows my story about a coworker falling asleep at his desk and capturing it on iphone to email to the whole floor out of the water!
MORTIFICATION
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I was sitting with a client today and a dry booger flew out of my nose onto a sheet of paper infront of us.
Any bees have any stories they can share?