- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
To fully understand this post you must first have somewhat of an understanding of the relationship between me and mother and me and my brother’s family. My mother and I are polar opposites in everything, taste, beliefs, likes, dislikes etc.
Like all mothers, mine loves her wonderful baby boy, my older brother. 99% of the time he comes first and I frolic in the background letting whatever happens happen. Every couple of years, she and i have one major blowout usually resulting from a conflict involving my brother’s life vs. my life choices.
In my brother’s wedding, I was TOLD I was going to be doing their photographer without pay since I was a professional photographer. So I followed my sister in law around all day, as she became a bridezilla with every gust of wind, tiny rain drop, and hair tug from her stylist.
Through the past few years of their marriage, I’ve endured the silence of my brother with every visit as we never speak to one another and every snarky comment from my sister in law as she treats me as if I’m the same age as her 10 year old daughter.
My mother’s dream for my wedding has always been to have my brother walk her down the aisle and to her seat. To avoid confrontation and have my brother placed conveniently away from the stage during the ceremony, I agreed and made my mothers life.
In the wedding, my brother’s stepdaughter is my junior bride’s maid and his stepson is pulling the “baby wagon.”
When going through my line up for the wedding my mother notice my angelic sister in law had no place. I told it was because I knew her 3 year told son could become fussy and she’d need to calm him. This, however, did not satisfy her.
Over the past month, my mother and I have been fighting back and forth about my sister in law’s involvement. I suggested to have her as a “seater” helping people to their seats to avoid those that are reserved, my mother suggested she sing as I enter. I suggested she be in charge of the guest book, my mother suggested she be my matron of honor. I suggested she be responsible for collecting gifts at the reception, my mother suggested she throw on a white dress and be my over barring shadow.
The majority of my mother’s life is spent making my brother and his wife happy. Thus, when I “forgot” to call, text or e-mail my brother Happy Birthday and tell him I’m engagement (since both events were on the same day) and my sister in law was upset to find out 3 weeks later my mother was upset. This, I am assuming, is why my mother is so intent on have my sister in law in the wedding.
While visiting me this weekend and seeing a display module of what I’d like my bridal party flowers to look like, my mother decided I should go ahead and buy the flowers since I’d found them. So yesterday I transferred $25 from her account to mine and went about my way to buy flowers.
In the middle of picking out my flower, my mother called informing me I had to make my sister in law some sort of flowers so she would be more involved. This was pretty much the straw that broke my blushing camel’s back. She promptly followed the statement with “spend whatever you want and get how ever many flowers you want.”
I took a deep breath in, got off the phone with my mother and stared at the flowers in front of me. Racing through mind was every angry thought I ever had my mother favoring my brother.
Then I remembered, “spend whatever you want and get how ever many flowers you want.”
As my fiance stood, completely confused as to what is going on, I began grabbing hand fulls of flowers, throwing them over my shoulder at him, yelling, “Hold these she said I could get whatever I want! I’ll tell her I needed extra since I have to make my sister in law’s!”
Ten minutes and 25 extra bunches of flowers later, my fiance pulled me away from the aisle and to the register. Luckily for my mother, I bought my flowers from the dollar tree. Meaning her budget was only double. Otherwise my emotional spending could have taken a much bigger chunk out of her wallet.
Therefore, I have a new motto. Whenever my mother makes me angery over the next year, I simply spend her money buying the most expensive wedding supplies I can buy 🙂
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