Emotional day- Mom doesn't like the dresses I pick

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

Hi there, I’m in the same position but unfortunately my mother is pretty blunt about it and anything I like she just screams YUK.  Plus she bought me a wedding dress that is going to be an absolute disaster.  I’m lucky though my father wants to be involved and he’s even blunter than mum so if the dress she has bought for me looks terrible, dad will say so quite loudly.


The only thing you can do is stick to your guns, I know you want your mother’s approval but it is after all, your day, not hers.  Don’t be nasty about it but just tell her gently but firmly that you have found the dress you want, you would like her approval but if she really has an objection to it would she please tell you.  If you agree with what she is saying then consider what she is saying, if you think her objections are just silly, thank her for her input but let her know that this is the dress you want.


If I were a psychologist I would probably be saying something like our mother’s are feeling that they are losing their daughter, or their daughter’s transition to being a wife is frightening or upsetting them but they don’t understand what it is they’re doing.  The dress may be the last time they have any control.  Remember when our mother’s picked all our clothes, the fights over what we wore when we went out?

Hopefully everything will work out, but you must remember over all else your wedding day is exactly that – YOUR wedding day.




Post # 4
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

How good are the photos you are sending her? You need to consider that the lighting, angle and how good your own hair and face look on the day, all play a part in how good a photo of a wedding dress can look.


I would go back and take video which might give your mother a more realistic idea of how the two dresses look on you. Also see if you can get someone else to come with and film/take the photos to make sure they are great ones.

Post # 5
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My Mum was straight awful to me about my gown and I cried a little at the salon because I’m an adult. But my consultant was awesome, and I stuck to my guns and got the dress I wanted that made me happy. I paid for two thirds of it though, so that made it easier.

I will say: if your Mum downs on your gown, don’t let it give you dress regret. Your dress is the one that makes you feel the way you dreamed it would. It’s your day, so own it!

Post # 6
29 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

Just give it a day or two to let the initial let down wear off. It is so easy to have this idea in your head of how it is going to be and feel when you try on wedding dresses, but the truth is that there is no guarentee that Mom will agree with you!

Give it a day or two and it will become pretty clear where you settle out, if you would rather have the dress you loved, or if it is worth coninuing to look for one your mom loves too.

Good luck 🙂

Post # 7
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

My Mom wasn’t a huge fan of my dress (she wanted me to wear a mermaid), and HATES our baby nae.

At some point you just say “I see where you’re coming from, but…”

Post # 8
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Yeah, moms can be like that.

My mom had this vision of what kind of dress she wanted me to get, and let’s just say, it was VERY different than what I wanted and wound up getting!  She was with me when I got my dress and while she was very ho-hum at first, she has come around, especially when she saw how happy I was in it.

I do agree that once your hair and makeup is done, it is a completely different look than what you see in the store.

Post # 9
3202 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@BrandNewBride:  For a minute I thought you were saying your mom hates your baby (I was assuming your baby was called Nae, lol). Whew, what a relief!

OP, my mom loves my gown, buuuut as I posted earlier, my BFF wasn’t a fan. But it’s my damn dress and my damn wedding, and I’m wearing it anyway! It definitely caused me some tears though, so… my advice is cry it out, and then wear your beautiful favorite dress, whatever that is!

Post # 10
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh moms… I’m not even sending mine any info until I pick the dress. I know she hated my sister’s dress, so I’m sure she’ll have some words over mine.

Are they the same dresses you posted in another post?

Post # 11
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@Everdeen:  +1.

Also….she’s not able to go shopping with you….wonder if maybe it’s got her a little bit down so it’s harder for her to get enthusiastic and excited about the dress Undecided

Good Luck!





Post # 12
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@butterfliesandhoney:  I can sympathise with you – my mum is the same. I showed her a dress I liked and she was all “Oh” with a sort of forced half smile and a shrug aaaaand that was it.

It’s not that we necessarily want our mothers’ approval but more that they are just excited for us/the whole ‘getting excited with your mum about getting married at all’ thing.

As previous posters have said, of course it’s our big day and we can wear whatever the hell we want, but I understand your hurt. I have a huge feeling I’m going to bawl my eyes out when I show my dress to my FMIL because I know her well enough to predict that she will react in a way that I wish my own mother had. Kind thoughts to you. 🙂

Post # 13
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m sure that is how my mom would have been if she wasn’t there in person.  We have way different tastes and the sample was way too big on me, and it is hard to snap a good photograph in most of those salons.  It took a seamstress to give her an idea of what it will look like on me once it fits to sell her on it.  Maybe go back, ask them to have a seamstress to pin it so it fits better, ask them to accessorize you up with a veil or headpiece, and make a video.  Hopefully she can see how happy you are in the dress.   It is the BRIDE that makes the dress, not the other way around!  

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