Post # 1
So before I start, I know that I’m going to sound like a crazy bridezilla but this has been really bothering me. I also realize that so many people have bigger problems and this is a minor issue in comparison.
There’s a girl in my class (I’m in dental school) who is very rude, self-serving, etc. Not too many people like her. Anyways, she started being really nice to me once I got engaged 4 months ago and said that she and her bf of 5 months were planning on getting engaged soon. She found out my date and decided to set hers on the same day in the next town (before she was engaged). Then during one of our labs, she used me as her personal wedding planner asking me every venue I looked at. This was particularily frustrating because I had wanted certain venues, but they couldn’t accommodate my 300-350 person guest list. I guess I could live vicariously through her, but I don’t like her in the first place!
She mentioned some venue in a hotel that was very expensive, but I had attended weddings there and they weren’t very nice. I told her that it was pricey for what she would get. Then she decided to mention that her budget was around $100K because her future FIL was so wealthy and a doctor. I thought that was extremely tacky. I have a hefty budget as well and my parents are both doctors, but that’s something I would never so matter of factly state like that/throw in someone’s face! I just kept my mouth shut and tried to end the conversation as quickly as possible.
Later, I was talking to someone about the dress I was considering. The next day, she came up to me and said how much she loved the dress I had chosen and was also going to order it. She had also asked about my colors weeks before and I had idiotically told her and she expressed interest in using those. OK, not that big of a deal, but I don’t know, I just started to feel like my “original wedding” was being completely copied.
Here’s the clincher though. She FINALLY got engaged last week and her ring is exactly like mine only 4 times as big. My ring is fairly unique, that’s why I picked it. I know I shouldn’t care, but I truly love my ring because not many people have the style I chose. I don’t care about the size, I chose a small ring because anything larger looked gaudy to me and wouldn’t fit over gloves. But that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I know that I’m being irrational and some of the overlaps could be coincidence. But there are so many similarities to our weddings that it’s uncanny. Should I just be flattered that she wants to imitate me and likes my taste or angry because I feel slightly one upped? Right now I’m a bit angry because I spent a lot of time trying to find unique ideas for my wedding, and she’s taking them all. I changed my theme and am not talking about the wedding at school again.
Post # 3
stop talking to her about your wedding plans!!!
Post # 4
and don’t apologize- i’d be pissed as hell. luckily, it sounds like none of the people you are friends with care for her very much so they will only be privvy to your wonderful wedding.
Post # 5
Be both- flattered and angry. And don’t share any more details with her.
Tell her that you want to have your wedding be unique and although you are flattered that she likes your ideas, you wan6t to maintain some individuality so won’t be able to discuss weddings with her any longer.
Post # 6
What a psycho creep! Eeeks what is her problem! I would have serious issues with all these “coincidences” my advice would be to give her bad advice. Tell her you changed your mind on your dress and show her another one. The colors you chose…now you think they are all wrong. Just tell her your plans have changed. She’s obviously crazy so she’ll probably want to copy your “new” wedding. How weird is that.
Post # 7
I would just start telling her how FLATTERED you are that she finds so many of your ideas useful. Kill her with kindness, and don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that she got to you. In the meantime, don’t discuss serious wedding stuff with her…or make up ridiculous and ugly things as you go along, maybe she’ll steal THOSE too! 🙂 And it is true, however annoying it may be, imitation IS the best form of flattery!
Post # 8
I agree kill her with kindness but don’t say anything else about wedding stuff…she is also sounding like a serial stalker in the making.
Post # 9
This all sounds very single while female-ish. I would be SO mad. My sister is planning her wedding and she has a friend that is getting married just a month before her and seems to be copying all of her ideas. They are good friends though and in eachothers weddings so it’s harder to keep her plans to herself. As others have advised, I would just keep my mouth shut from here on out. I know it’s tough when she approaches you and asks about your wedding but I would just pretend I was being totally slack and haven’t planned a thing. You have every right to be upset..hopefully she will chill out and come up with some ideas of her own! Good luck :o)
Post # 10
sorry, typo…I meant single whiTe female-ish. haha
Post # 11
That’s so strange. I assume if you don’t like her and you’re not actually friends, then you won’t have any guest overlap so don’t need to worry too much about being unique (there’s only so much “uniqueness” a wedding can have anyway, no matter how hard we brides might try!). So I’d be a bit cranky, a bit flattered, but mostly I think I’d just feel sorry for her. She may have a massive budget but she obviously has no creativity or girlfriends to help her plan, which is pretty sad.
Post # 12
I agree that you need to stop talking about YOUR wedding plans. I think this girl is jealous of you–if not, why does everything have to be the same or like the ring, the same but bigger. I hate to be a conspiracy theorist, but do you have similar friends? Her setting the date on the same day may be a way to have friends have to choose between weddings. She sounds like trouble to me.
Post # 13
SHE IS WEIRD, UNORIGINAL, NOSEY, TACKY, RUDE.
you need to stop talking to her about your wedding plans.