Post # 1
Ok ladies, I need some emotional support.
My Fiance and I have been together for almost 8 years. We announced our engagement about 8 months ago. There hasnt been a wedding on either side of our families in a long time so everyone was super excited. We set a June date for the wedding and announced it to everyone. Well, a few weeks ago, his cousin (who is one of our groomsmen) proposed to his girlfriend. I was really happy for them until I found out that they are getting married the weekend before us. I couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the fact that they chose that date, They know we have been planning our wedding for a while. Part of me feels like they are stealing some of our thunder away. My fiance’s family is very judgemental and I know they will be comparing both weddings. So now I feel like I am in a competition to make our wedding better than theirs.
I just feel like the weddings are going to be very close together. Out of town guests will now have to make arrangements for two weddings, buy two gifts, take two weekends off from work (most of them work saturdays), blah blah blah. And for those that will only be able to attend one wedding, they will probably attend his cousin’s and not ours since we wont be having any kids at our wedding.
I just cant help but feel a little irriated. I dont want this to be a competition and I dont want both our weddings being compared (most of the guests are the same). We can’t afford as much as they can so now I feel like our wedding is going to look so cheap compared to theirs. They will be married at the same church as us and even chose the same best man for their wedding. I had been talking about our wedding for a while and I just hope they dont steal any of our ideas and then make it seem like we copied them.
Am I being unreasonable here? How do I stop myself from feeling like this is a competition?
Post # 3
By remembering this is about you and your Fiance, not anybody else. Their decision to move it so close may have been based on factors totally unrelated to you – and maybe they’re worried people will compare your wedding to theirs! Just try to take a breath and think to yourself why this wedding is important to you. Ten years from now when you look at photos, you won’t remember that their wedding was so close. You’ll just remember how amazing your day was.
Post # 4
Girl, I totally feel you. A few months after I chose my date and announced it to family, two other couples in my extended family got engaged. One set a date for two weeks before my wedding, and the other set their date for a week after my wedding. I was a bit miffed at first, but then I remembered how hard it was to book our venue — we got the last Saturday of the summer season, and we booked 15 months in advance! Wedding stuff books up really far in advance — I’m sure they didn’t do it with any malicious intent.
And on your wedding day, I’m sure you will not be thinking about it at all! You’ll be so happy, and that will be all that matters! 🙂
Post # 5
@MsNolasco: you are not being unreasonable. I would be upset too. Try not to compete. Focus on yourself and your wedding. Look on the bright side, their wedding is first so any mistakes they make or if you forget something their wedding will remind you 😀 Take care!!! Congrats on your engagement!
Post # 6
Thank you ladies. I already feel better (I just needed to vent) =)
Post # 7
UHHHH, I’d be hella pissed. Seems trivial to some but you’ve been with him so long and probably thinking about this wedding for a long time ( so have your families ) and the fact that you said there hasn’t been a family wedding in a LONG time, why did have to choose the weekend before yours?? Lol, that would totally irk me. Nothing you can do about it but I def feel you on the needing to vent. Your wedding will be amazing and no less special just because it happens the weekend after theirs. Promise you that!
Post # 8
I’ll just come right out and say it – what inconsiderate jerks! I’d be so pissed. I think the PPs gave you good advice, though – your wedding is about you and your Fiance and nothing can change that. In 50 years when you’re still married, no one will care or remember that their wedding came first by a week!
Post # 9
I would be annoyed. I’m sorry that I can’t offer any advice but chances are the advice I would offer you would be irrational anyways, because I would be so angry 🙂
Better to listen to the advice of a more patient bee on this one.