Post # 1
I’m curious what your thought are. I got into this discussion with my brother and let me just tell you it was not pretty – we’ve both got some pretty strong opinions about what does and doesn’t “count”
So, yes. Lets set some ground rules. Lets assume:
1) Emotional cheating involves no sex or overtly sexualy physical contact. It’s your partner building an emotional relationship with another, in which they laugh, cry, and confide in each other.
1) Physical cheating is just pure raw boning. There is no love and no emotion. Besides lust your partner feels nothing for this person and probably didn’t bother to learn their name.
I think both forms count as cheating and that it’s just as harmful to a relationship – if not more harmful – for your partner to have such a deep relationship with another woman (assuming your partner likes women). My brother thinks that it’s perfectly possible for someone to fall in and out of love and that a woman has no right to be angry if their partner chooses to spend time with another lady (Again assuming the vast majority of us are female. I’d like to take this time to give a shout out to our male bees, holla!)
How about you?
Post # 3
Emotional cheating beyond a friendship counts. I think you can have a friend you laugh, cry, and confide in who is still JUST a friend. I think both physical and emotional cheating are detrimental in a relationship, though. Hopefully your brother finds a woman who’s open to the idea of that kind of marriage! It sounds very old fashioned, when men took concubines on the side and the women were told to just deal.
Post # 4
To me both of those count as cheating
Post # 5
My Fi’s closest friend is a female (they’ve known each other since they were 8). I have NO issue with this at all, and certainly would not consider it cehating. However, if he started something new with another woman, I would certainly be leary.
Post # 6
@ejs4y8: I do find it funny that he’s so addament about how emotional cheating doesn’t count. Then again He’s also the guy who flirts with other women just to see if he can seduce them – P.S. He can. 9_9
Lets just say, I wouldn’t be dating him
Post # 7
Ah yes. In the case of female friendships forged before the relationship I understand that, since they had the chance to start somthing and chose not to. But to start such a relationchip with someone new…thats just being inconsiderate to your GF/FI/DW
And thanks for moving my post 🙂 I thought I’d clicked “relationships” but it went right to “beehive” by mistake
Post # 8
Probably an unpopular opinion, but while I think both are wrong, I do differentiate between physical and emotional. As in, I think it’s easier to forgive and repair the damage done by an emotional involvement with another than a physical one. The reason I feel this way is because I’ve had many relationships with male friends in the past that could have easily slipped into that category, were I not careful. Whereas physical cheating, to me, is a much more conscious betrayal. People don’t just fall into bed with each other, but they do find themselves in inappropriate relationships with less of an idea how they got there.
If my FI had an emotional relationship with another woman, I would be upset and worry that there was something wrong with our relationship. But we would get past it and probably emerge stronger than before.
If he physically cheated on me, I would have a hard time ever getting over the act of betrayal. And I think that has less to do with the relationship at hand and more with the type of person.
Just my 2 cents, though I do understand the other point of view. Let’s hope we never have to deal with it, shall we?
Post # 9
I also agree that both count as cheating.
Post # 10
why get married if your going to confide all your emotional feelings and thoughts with some other chick?
the boning thing … eh that’s self explanitory
Post # 11
to me…i could forgive emotional cheating. i wouldn’t be able to forgive physical cheating.
Post # 12
I don’t really know what “counts” means. I think that its actually important to have meangingful, close relationships outside of your marriage, as long as they are friendships. I also think that sometimes relationships hit rocky points and someone might need to find another place to connect or share their feelings. The rest of your life is a long time to only be emotionally connected to another person. However, if you have agreed to be monogomous there is never a reason why you would need to have sex with someone else. Neither is a complete “deal breaker” for me, though- I think its important to try to work through hard times.
Post # 13
I consider both cheating.
Post # 14
BF believes emotional cheating is more severe than physical cheating. Before we got back together from a break I had been talking to a few other guys. I wanted to visit one of them and it really made my BF uncomfortable to the point that we had to talk about our boundaries. He was upset that we were talking, and fortunately the guy backed out on his own when I told him I got back with my BF. I have no idea how it’d be if he didn’t.
Other than that, I don’t think I’ve ever been close to the point where I’d cheat. Maybe I’m too chicken to do it or I think about the aftermath too much.
Post # 15
They both count as cheating to me..
Post # 16
my BFF and the hubs are really close, so yes they talk about things emotionally at times. Does it bother me? No. I know that there is an element of trust between us and them, and the only thing that the hubs would want to talk about with her that he couldn’t talk about with me is me. Now, if he chose to go to someone (even her) on things that we used to talk about but now he felt he couldn’t, then a major flag would go off. I am the one he should turn to emotionally, and he does. Just the other day he called me from work cuz someone pissed him off, and by the end of the conversation, we were both laughing and he felt so much better.
Now, physical intimacy of any kind is cheating, period.