(Closed) Emotional Wreck About Wedding – Long Rant

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d tell my FI and family that I’m really close to losing my mind and that I truly need their support.  You have WAY too much on your plate.  With the stress, you’ll probably lose the 10 lbs without much effort!  Which isn’t good.  Just remind your FI of his tasks, if he drops the ball, let him fix it.  That’s what I did, when he realized I would let him screw it up before I rescued him, he miraculously managed to get things done.  Strange how that works, huh?  And tell him to get over the mess!  Jeez.

As far as your BM, you kinda have to speak up.  If you want her in a jersey dress, she should just wear a jersey dress.  It’ll probably be more comfortable anyway!  Just tell her nicely that this is what you’d really like her to wear.  Hopefully she won’t continue to protest! 

Is there anyway you can have professionals do any of the other things?  Or are you on a super strict budget that doesn’t allow for it?  What might help you the way it helped me was to look at the calendar and designate a day to each task.  When I did that, it wasn’t so overwhelming because it ended up not taking as many days as I expected.  I also consider looking into other stylists that can do hair and make-up, check out reviews first though!  If you’re not good with make-up, anyone with experience would be a benefit to have there!  Maybe even check out the make-up counters at your local department store/mall.  A lot of them do freelance work and its not too expensive.

And understand that this is a stressful experience so you’re not going crazy.  It will be over soon, try not to hurt anyone 🙂

Post # 5
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Let me start by commiserating. I am less than 3 weeks out, and trust me. I feel you. I am SO there. Last night I came home and a couple dishes came out of the dishwasher still dirty, so I took an Ativan and drank a beer before going back to my tasks. It was just the stress-straw that broke the camel’s back, and I had to take a minute to cope. I’m also feeling this weird pain in the back of my head every time I think too hard about the wedding. LOL….

But here’s a little hope for you: “We only have a month before our RSVP deadline and I have gotten back maybe 7 out of the 80 invite we sent out! That, also, is driving me crazy since I will need to call whoever doesn’t send back in a month and I REALLY don’t feel like spending hours calling 73 people.”

Don’t worry about that yet. When we had one WEEK to our RSVP deadline, I still had 15 rsvps out. The day after the deadline, we’d received all but 2. People really will wait until the last possible minute. It’s absolutely annoying, but give them a chance and they might surprise you. So let that go for now.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Damn, girl, you’ve got a lot on your plate but try to calm down, bc you can definetly get it all done, you still have some time.

First of all, caterers are notoriously flaky.  Keep calling and emailing, like, every day until you get a response.  Hopefully she’ll be able to work out a menu that is within your budget, shouldn’t be difficult to do in your area!

Tell your FH that this is his wedding as much as it is yours, you’ve given him these tasks to do and it is his responsibility to get ’em done! No other option, just get it done, make it happen and soon.

The bridesmaid will wear what you pick out for her, so just tell her that you want her to wear the jersey dress and that’s that.  If she doesn’t like it and tells you so, sorry but she’s a total bitch.

Don’t stress about RSVPs yet, those won’t come in until right around or a little bit after the deadline, so put that on the back burner for now.

And finally, here’s what I suggest in order to keep yourself sane.  Make a master list of the things that need to get done and try to check off one thing each day, even if it’s just “Call make-up artist” or finish 5 paper flowers. This helps, I promise.

You’re gonna get through this and the best part is, you’re getting married!!! Just try to focus on one day and one thing at a time! Best of luck!!

Post # 8
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Phew – you are a busy lady! Okay, breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth – nice and deep. It’s going to be okay. Miss Trail Mix has given beyond excellent advice: listen to that smart lady! I’m not sure how you went about choosing your “wedding elves” (helpers like mom, sister, etc), but I’d have a quick convo with them to see if they even *want* to help. It majorly sucks if they don’t, but f they aren’t interested you’ll just end up constantly frustrated. There may be other people in your life though who are chomping at the bit to do something for you – hit them up! Once you figure out who’s willing to step up (and this just has to be your FI, he doesn’t really get a choice) show them your master to-do list. You can assign them tasks or ask them what they want to do. Give them a firm due date and let it go for awhile. I didn’t let go and I was stuck at home finishing things the night before the wedding while everyone was out at the after-RD party (and texting me to come join them! Gah, don’t even get me started!)

Jennifer is right on about the calendar idea.  I used different colored boxes to assign tasks to each day and when something was finished, I changed the text to white. Also, if something didn’t get done, I was able to move the box to another day. I couldn’t attach the PowerPoint calendar that I used last year, but can PM it to you. If you want, I can make you a blank template for the next two months, just PM me. We feel your pain, honey – know that you can do it and you can do it sanely!

 

Post # 9
Member
7466 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry your going thru this. take a breath and break down the tasks in bite sized pieces in order of priority. And yeah your BM is completely out of pocket.

I was no where near the level of planning you are at so I decided earlier (at least for this year) to scale back and have a small private cermony of less than 12 of us. I’ll plan a larger affair next year. Aside from the budget concerns its woes like this which I’m not looking forward to.

Stay focused I’m sure the day will ultimately go without a hitch and all this will be memory.

Post # 10
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Definitely don’t stress about your RSVPs… 1 week after our due date, we had to track down about 20 out of 130 cards.  So just put that one on the back burner.

Tell your FI you’re going crazy and that he needs to accomplish his task list.  Give him some reasonable due dates for each task and get him on board.  It’s his wedding too, and unless he LIKES “Crazed Fiancee” he should probably help you out.

Email/call your caterer every day until you get a response.  Be nice, ala, “Just checking in, hope to hear from you soon!” but do it every day.  Your caterer will get tired of hearing your messages and will get back to you.

Last, make a list of all this stuff you have to do.  Prioritize it.  I made a list of my “to-dos” about a month ago, and it feels soooo good to cross stuff off that list, a major stress relief.  Prioritizing will also help you in the event that you have to drop some of those DIY projects at the last minute.

 

Post # 11
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh!!  Definitely check makeup counters and ask about free lancers!  I got my makeup artist for my girls this way- only $40/girl and that includes lash application! 

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