- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015
I used to be really close friends with “Ann.” About a year ago, her boyfriend (who she had been living with) decided he needed a break. I did my best to support her and help her work through the pain of their break up.
After a while though, it got to be too much. She was texting me up to 60 times in a day and had gone so far as to tell me that she didn’t want to live without him. In hindsight I don’t think she meant suicide, but I have a family history of depression and it scared me half to death.
I did what I could to help her, but after a few weeks it became too much. I was honest with her, too honest and she got upset. She and her boyfriend worked things out after a few months, but we wound up drifting apart and haven’t spoken or seen each other in about a year.
For the record, she did share way too much about what had gone on in their relationship and it made it very difficult for me to accept that they had started dating again. To be fair, I allowed myself to be dragged in so far because I thought thats what a good friend does (and I really have no experience with people breaking up).
Neither of them handled it well. There was a lot of stress in the relationship (she was searching for full-time work and they were trying to live off his salary) and I don’t think either of them really realized what living together would be like before they tried it. Over time, though, I’ve come to realize that both of them handled it in the best way that they could.
I’ve been thinking of her more often lately. Last night my guy told me that they had gotten engaged after he saw their announcement on facebook. I’m very happy for them, since I know this is something she has wanted a long time, but I’m also deeply saddened. We were best friends once and I never thought that anything that happened would cause us to stop talking.I understand why she didn’t tell me herself, but it also hurt really badly.
I want to apologize to her. I don’t want or expect an apology from her. I want to apologize because I feel like its the right thing to do. We both did and said stupid things, but I feel like I wasn’t the friend she needed me to be. I no longer have her cell phone number and I don’t know where she moved to, so in order to apologize I’ll need to send her a message online. It’s not ideal and I’d much rather apologize in person, but I don’t know if she would even want to see me.
If I could, I would go back and prevent this from happening. The whole situation just makes me so sad.