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So sorry to hear about your situation, but I'm glad to hear that you are surviving. My only advice would be to think about how you will feel down the road about not going to her wedding, that's IF you don't go. Especially if you're so close. I can imagine the difficulty of having to hide your emotions while you're there, but I think in the long run, you'll be happy you went.
One of our friends broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years the week before our wedding and rescinded his RSVP a few days beforehand. We were not upset with him or offended at all-- we totally understood and honestly felt sorry for him. He gave us a very sweet, heartfelt gift and invited us out to dinner when we got back into town. I'm sure your cousin will understand. Just send her a sweet gift and note, and let her know how excited you are about her wedding, without mentioning your personal situation.
I have been through this with my ex-FI. A close friend of mine was getting married 6 weeks after our planned wedding date.
She called and said she totally understood if it would be too hard/sad for me to attend (such a sweet, thoughtful friend). I told her I would just need a little time to get over my emotions.
I decided to attend their wedding (which was also really far away from my home), and I'm so happy I did. It was so wonderful to be there to celebrate with my friend & her hubby, and she sat me with some other single girlfriends so I didn't feel weird being dateless.
It really gave me hope to see them so happy and so in love, that someday when I met the right man, that would be "us".
Take time to work through your feelings, I know it sounds cliche, but each day you'll feel better. (((Hugs)))
Maybe plan to go, but excuse yourself after (or even during) the ceremony if it's rocky.
Wow, she's sending that early! When is the RSVP date? I'd say wait until the day is closer to make a decision, and talk to your cousin now. Tell her where you are currently, emotionally, and let her know that you'll need some time to assess how you're healing before you can make a final RSVP choice. Picking wrong will be very painful, regardless of which way you go. Hopefully she'll understand that.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I know this idea is very "proper" but what if you skip the ceremony and just attend the reception? The ceremony would be a big tear-jerker for me, but receptions are lots of fun and it would be something fun to look forward to. Honestly, nobody will notice if you skip the ceremony.
Thanks everyone for your suggestions and support.
It's a semi-destination wedding (i.e. they live in a remote area, so most people will need to travel) and it's also a holiday weekend, which is why they've sent out the invitations earlier than normal, I suspect.
And because it's far away, it might be trickier to skip the ceremony and just go to the reception. If it were happening in my own town, I feel like I would be more comfortable leaving early or skipping certain parts, but it may be more complicated doing so up there.
I think I'll just give it some more time to decide. Every day I have different feelings on what to do, so maybe as the rsvp date gets closer I'll feel more confident about a decision either way.
I think you should go, just try to put your wedding out of your head and enjoy yourself and have fun with your family. Can you invite a guest? I would maybe take a friend along, or share a hotel room with someone so that you don't feel lonely or reclusive while you are there.
While I'm all for having alone time while grieving and going through difficult times, I think it's really important to just kind of throw yourself into social situations too, because I do believe it makes coping easier and and will help you get through things quicker and more easily.
Your situation sounds like it was really tough, best of luck to you.
I say absolutely go! You do not want to sit around that weekend stressing out about missing it b/c your bum ex-fi left. Buy a sexy little dress (yes, that had better be ok with your cousin!) go out there and have a great time! What do you have to lose? Plus, I'm sure your cousin really wants you there!
170822.securedownload5.jpg.resize.jpg (27.8 KB, 26 downloads) 1 year old 
Aww..I'm sorry about your situation. I just wanted to give you a big ((HUG)). Good luck!
I think you should definitely go as well. Weddings are emotional for almost everyone there, especially if you are at all close to the bride and groom. No one will think twice if you happen to cry during the ceremony. Our most macho guy friends even got a little teary eyed during ours. Go be with your family, and let them love you and support you during this tough time in your life! It will probably be more awkward for you later on if you don't go.
mms_picture-16.jpg (216.3 KB, 49 downloads) 1 year old 
I'm so sorry about your situation. At least you are staying strong! It sounds like you made your decision and I agree with you; wait and see how you feel as the RSVP date gets closer. But talk yourself up and fake-til-you-make so you are in a positive mind frame at decision time. Good luck!!
Hi all
Just wanted to say thanks again for your advice. I have just now put my rsvp into the envelope (checked YES) and will mail it out tomorrow. I figure there is so much time, I can always gauge how I'm doing closer to the date. Better to cancel than to regret, I think?
And I'm alive, and dressed. :) Sometimes that's the only thing I can bring myself to do in a day, and I'm okay with that. I never realized how tough this would be, my goodness.
I am so sorry to hear about your situation, I can only imagine what you are going through but I am happy to hear that you are doing okay (at least enough to post about it).
I don't know what I would do in this situation because I have my strong days and I have days when I could buckle down. If you are as close to your cousin as you say I would go, though, I know the reminder is going to sting but try to think about the future and whether you will regret it. I know you are in a lot of pain now and it's almost too soon to think of wedded bliss for anyone else, but in 3 years you could be married to the man of your dreams! I just hate for you to think about and not go to your good cousin's wedding because your man was a jerk!
Jenny, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry to hear what happened. And I'm not going to be one of those girls who says "well at least he left before the wedding." It's hard being left by someone you love NO MATTER WHEN he does it.
As for going to the wedding, I'm glad you had the courage to say yes. Personally, if that happened to one of my close friends or cousins, I would absolutely be okay with them bailing on my wedding if at any point they felt they couldn't handle it. Just keep that in mind I guess, and best of luck with everything. ((HUGS))
*hug* Yes, better to cancel than to decline right now, and I'm sure your cousin will understand if you have to cancel when it gets closer to the date. You said you're close, so I'm sure she'll understand.
aw so sorry to hear what happened
hugs to you
I say still go it will help you heal to be surrounded by loved ones; grieve now, it'll always hurt, but you dont know how you will feel in 4 months time
weddings are always happy times, deep down I am sure you will be sad but I think it'll help to be around friends and family while you are wishing your cousin well; I think you will get something out of it I think it'll help you feel better knowing you are loved by your closest
just my two cents worth; good luck, and many hugs!!I have been broken up with far too many times here leaving my heart in shreds in bad NYC so I know what you're going through; it helped when I was pre-occupied and did happy things
hugs and more hugs!!!!
Oh Jenny many many hive hugs. I am so sorry this happened to you. (((((Jenny)))))
But I think you made the RIGHT decision.
I remember my other bff got married right as I had filed for divorce. She of course had to have me in the wedding and my litle boy (he was smaller then) as the ring bearer. I had to also sing in her wedding (I am also a longtime singer).
It was gut wrenching too. I remember singing the Lords' Prayer and focusing on the back of the church where there was a cross at the back of the ceremony site and I focused on it as I sang "The Lords' Prayer" so I wouldn't break down crying in front of everybody.
After I got thru the ceremony, (you may want to show up for the reception! and rest of activities for the weekend) I changed into a gorgeous dress and did the meet and greet alone without my former H for the first time in almost a decade. Everybody was great and I danced and danced with so many cute guys! I also caught up with old friends, and it was a very special day. NO regrets whatsoever.
In the meanwhile, I'd watch some funny movies, go pick out the most gorgeous party dress and heels you can find, and get a mani and pedi and maybe a new hairstyle. That always works for me if I am feeling not quite like myself. Maybe have a girls' night out a few times or just meet out for dinner! See if they want to join you for that shopping trip or for the mani/pedi!
YOU are doing fabulous! I can't believe how positive and together you are btw. My hat is off to you Jenny, you're incredible!!! Sending wishes for more healing and happiness your way!
hugs and much love,
~j.
I am sooooooooooo sorry to hear this and I will pray for ya:) That always helps me:)
I say go though! It is hard I know, but you got to look at it at a different angle sometimes. That he wasn't the right person for you and should be excited about the fact you still have your sole mate to meet and fall in love with. Don't let you ex take your happiness. It is him who missed out and that you will thank the LORD when you meet that new man that you didn't miss out on it by marrying the wrong man. Your ex did you the biggest favor you have no idea of yet.
Whatever you decided to do I wish you luck:) and many blessings:)
I say this with love. You should get over yourself. Its not your cousins fault your ex fiance was a douche. I feel for you, but you should go and be happy, I m sure you ll have a great time, and it ll teach you a valuable lesson, that life does go on.
IMG_0902.JPG (2278.6 KB, 37 downloads) 1 year old 
Sorry to hear this happened. If you go, I'd hope that your family decides to focus on your cousin's day, but provide you with loving support instead of questions.
On a practical note, at least it happened before the wedding, so you didn't have to go through a messy divorce.
what a terrible situation! i'm so sorry. maybe going the wedding will restore your faith in love and marriage. luckily your family will be there so support you. and maybe you can bring a close friend to help you out. good luck! things will look up soon enough.
I'm sorry to hear about this...but maybe being with family will actually help a bit? Everything is going to be okay. It will. At least know that.
I'm so sorry - but I do think you need to go. You should celebrate with your family and cousin the way you would want them to celebrate with you. If needed, excuse yourself but I think you are stronger than you realize - I mean, you posted this on wedding bee - there are tons of girls who have very enthusiastic posts here - so if you can be ok here, I think you will be strong enough to be there. It wont be easy, but have faith.
Best of luck - let us know how it goes.
I would go to the reception and focus on your family. It will make you feel better to be surrounded by people you love. *hug*
I'm sorry you're having to go through this! I know it will be tough, but eventually you'll have to face your family. It might be better to get it out of the way, and only have to explain the situation one time instead of multiple times. Once this wedding is out of the way, you can focus all your energy on healing and getting back to normal. Good luck!
{hugs} I agree with GothyBride2B, it'll be nicer to be surrounded by those you love, and who love you than stay home by yourself while you know they're all together. I'm sure your cousin will understand, whatever decision you make. xx
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Hi all,
Six weeks out from our wedding (i.e. two weeks ago) my fiance told me he wasn't happy in the relationship any longer and wanted to call off the wedding. Everything has been cancelled, he's moved away, etc. This was so so horrible as I'm sure you can imagine, but I'm surviving.
My question to the hive is what to do about an upcoming wedding. I just received an invitation in the mail for my cousin's wedding this October. She's one of my closest cousins, and I had been really looking forward to her wedding. It's also a chance for a family reunion - it's happening quite far away, so would be an entire wedding weekend with the extended family. I'm just not sure I can handle it emotionally. Being there and grieving the loss of my marriage instead of being happy for her, feeling uncomfortable being the only single cousin, etc. I don't know what to do - go? not go?
Does anyone have any advice for me? Have your friends or family members been in this situation - what did they do?