Post # 1
I’ve noticed something while planning my second wedding, wondering if anyone else can relate.I first married when I was 28, and barely gave much thought to the ceremony. Took the standard 12 minute ceremony and concentrated on the party afterwards. I didn’t give any thought to selecting the right officiant, customizing my vows, music, whatever.
Maybe it’s hindsight, but now at 43 and knee-deep in planning wedding #2, I am finding myself only excited about the ceremony. I could care less what we eat, what entertainment we have, etc. My thoughts are always about how to make the ceremony as meaningful as I feel it is.
Know what I mean?
Post # 3
@Pixelate: I’m not an encore bride but I can totally relate! When I first met with our JP, I told him 15 minute wham bam thank you ma’am get us married! But now that I’ve started putting our ceremony together, I’m so into it and decided to do a completely custom ceremony that FI and I are writing together and am OBSESSED with making every last word and reading PERFECT! I’m so excited for it. I love how it’s so ingrained in my brain already because I know normally, I’d be so nervous on the big day that I probably won’t be able to remember anything the officiant says!
Post # 4
Absolutely, totally, understand exactly what you are talking about. In fact, we’re planning the reception/afterevent with the thought in mind that we don’t want it to detract from the ceremony that preceded it – but instead, to carry the feeling forward.
Care to share, OP, some of the thoughts you’ve been having about how to make the ceremony meaningful?
Post # 5
One thing that’s a must to me is having a ring-warming ceremony. I first read about it on this site, and the more I looked into it, it just resonated with me. Also having a version of “ceremony in the round”, so we’re physically surrounded by those who matter most to us. I would like to incorporate my whole immediate family in different, unique ways. The music we are using is meaningful to us. I’m fairly certain we’re writing our own vows, but will not memorize them and have the officiant prompt us.
Post # 6
I felt the same way for our wedding last July. Our ceremony was very important to me and while I can barely (if at all) remember my previous ceremonies (2), every word was carefully planned this time. We wrote our own vows as an adjunct to the traditional “love, honor and cherish”. I cried all the way through it – the words were so meanigful and expressive of what we feel. Even my “no tears” DH got wet eyes :)It was on a beach, we were surrounded by people who love us – it was perfect. The “at-home” reception the following month was a lot of work and expense. It couldn’t hold a candle to the ceremony.
Post # 7
Not an encore bride, and I am 24. I am way more excited for the ceremony. That’s the whole point! We aren’t even doing food just cake and champagne. I just want to be married to my amazing FI
Post # 8
@Pixelate: You are so right… I’m a first timer at 46 and my primary thought is on the ceremony including our teenage children. A special part is the binding & union of out families..his daughter and my two kids… they are part of our vows and will stand alongside of DH and I, A complete family blessing and unity as one.
Post # 9
I’m not an encore bride but I feel the same way!
I’m totally not a party OR a food person. I want my wedding because I want a beautiful ceremony that is spiritual and makes me feel connected to my FI. I want it to show our love for each other.
The only reason I’m even having a reception is so that I can give something to my family who will be traveling far to be at our wedding. I also want to be able to mingle with them.
My FSIL is the opposite. She and my brother aren’t having a ceremony (well, just at the courthouse) because she gets anxious and then they’re having a big party reception. I get anxious and nervous too, but I know most of the people coming to my wedding pretty well. I wouldn’t let that keep me from having a ceremony, though. Its SO important to me.
Post # 10
I am excited about my ceremony BUT no idea what I want to say…I guess I will just speak from the heart.
Post # 11
For me – the wedding IS the ceremony. the reception is what comes afterwards. SO – when people would ask me how my wedding planning was coming along – I would tell them it’s done because the church part was done.
My church offers a lot of premarriage counselling and we have taken advantage of it. So much more important to concentrate on that vs. picking flowers.
Two thumbs up to caring more about the ceremony than the party.