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FI and I already live together so it's not like there is anything we NEED (there is sure stuff we want though!) so we can't decide if we should register or not.
What are you doing?
That is a personal choice I think..as far as T and I, I would guess we will re-register for a few things. I know my x (he did some wascally things) kept some of my Arthur Court elephant stuff although I kept most of it..He did keep the wine bucket and the huge salad set (dismayed me greatly) and some of the crystal.
I think having "your" things together is important! l know you two are living together and many bees here are probably already cohabitating, but it's ok to register.
I think T and I having our own crystal pattern will be good and a new everyday china pattern. Luckily our fine china "merges" well as he has the Lenox Christmas pattern and I have Lenox Hancock.
Gotta admit..I am still lovin' Arthur Court elephants and T also thinks it's cool!
We are gonna register for just some new US stuff. New sheets and towels, maybe a new set of casual dishes (I didn't have china the first time anyway). We just don't need the big things, like a blender and Kitchenaid. I already have those collecting dust LOL.
We'll register for a few things at target or bbb, but we're going to tell our moms/other "word of mouth" relatives that money for a home is what we'd really like (if people want to get us anything).
And we've been living together for a year, and living on our own for several, so we're well-established - don't need much.
Not going to register, and in fact will include a "no gifts please" line on the invitations.
We don't need much. Heck we're the kinds of people who just go out and buy stuff for ourselves when we need it. But my family and his are gift givers even if we said no. So we might as well register for the little stuff we need (ok want).
We are lucky my formal china and his Christmas china coordinate and are both Lenox!
We're going to register. One reason, like Amber mentioned, is to have "us" stuff. Another reason is because he's never been married before and I don't want to take away from him any of the fun and excitement of the whole wedding process. And yes, part of the "whole wedding process" is running though Macy's with a scanner gun and zapping that set of plush towels your future wife has had her eye on for a while. ;)
I agree with the "us" stuff. You need to merge your lives together and while you may not be first starting out you still need stuff. We don't need a toaster though..He went out last year and bought this super-high tech toaster lol!
What I think is most important is that encore brides and grooms treat their wedding day with every bit of importance and not downplay it, because it is a new beginning. I am having a smaller wedding but that's what I want. And it is smaller yet is going to be more elegant though.
Not going to miss out on anything and just do things the way WE want to do them on our day!
You are RIGHT on, a wonderful new beginning for sure, great to keep that in mind, Thanks!
It is all new. Thanks for that prop! It is time that encore brides and grooms embraced the utter joy and forgot about any old rules that don't apply anymore!
Rule that does apply...It's your love, it's your day, MAKE IT special!
We are registering at a home improvement store and also a department store (thinking of combining the two bc Lowe's is stopping it's registry at the end of the summer) and we wanted to register for some home/yard things like a blower, fire pit, porch rockers, screen house, we also wanted to register for new bedding and for camping gear (we love to do this with the children). So, Sears or Penney's is looking more like it-maybe Target. Any suggestions? We are also considering registering for our honeymoon.
I think those are great places to register. We're going to probably register for things we're both needing to complete already existing sets since we both have households. I need more Arthur Court serve ware!
I've been giving this some thought and I really can't say there is anything we NEED. I've lived on my own in a house for going on 9 years and he has lived on his own in an appartment for the past 3. I have really nice towels and sheets. I have more blankets then I know what to do with. The things that we would register for are probably things that we would never really use or I would already have it (like the big fancy drink maker and the bar stuff).
I am really tempted to reqest that people give a donation to the local women's shelter or bring items that they need. I also send care packages over the the troops in Iraq so I thought about asking them to bring items for those. I just don't know how to go about wording it.
I'm not too sure what to do at this point. I guess I had better figure it out.
Well our issues arise in merging two well established households. From merging color to style (which is not an issue really) we have to change quite a few things. Thus we will need to register.
As a favor, I plan to make a donation to the american heart assn in memory of my father who passed away 10 years ago. That sure beats imho, the jordan almonds in the plastic swan candy holders. I will probably give some candy to go also. Maybe a macaron or two?
@ Liz - Target has a GREAT online selection of all that stuff. My FH and I decided to register and included the kids - we want to create the new family world. One of the things we put on there was a Wii - and tons of family games - but also camping stuff, outdoor things, New bedding for everyone, etc. FH is such a gem and he wants the kids to feel very much a part of this (they are 7 and 8 and my X - their dad - got married without so much as telling them. They were very hurt) It's like he's making a commitment to them too - another reason I love this man!!
We are registering for our honeymoon and that's it. Between the two of us, we have WAY too stuff (We still own three house too - anyone wanna take two of them off of us?). We have lived together for a year and a half so we've made a lot of "we" purchases. This seemed like the best option for us. I guess otherwise we'll accept whatever people want to get for us happily and since we don't have other options for them, maybe they'll turn to the old checkbook.
My FI and I have been living together for over 2 years and we have registered. We didn't think twice about it. There is plenty that we do have but there is plenty that we don't have. We registered for many things that we wouldn't go buying for ourselves at this time but would love to have in the future for when we are married, older, and have a family. Your wedding guests are going to want to buy you a gift that will start your marriage off on the right foot. Registering makes it a lot easier for them.
I think it's great to register - like Bellenga said, it's a new marriage, a new life.
I, on the other hand, am *not* going to be registering. I got a little too obsessy with the last registry (checking it everyday, generally being insane about whether anyone was going to finally buy that oh-so-cute butter dish or, omigod, who bought that bed set in-store and then DIDN'T GIVE IT TO US? WHO?!).
It was a little much. We don't need anything, and the gifters will give whatever they like, anyway.
Still debating. I guess I am still fighting that "I DID this aready" feeling, but FI has never been married so like az said, it's important to me that FI not miss anything, even if we're having a toned-down wedding. Hopefully we'll be in our house by then, so we could def use things.
On the other hand, I registered last time, and received very little from it, instead ending up with a china set the the ex wouldn't let me take when I left and some picture frames and knick nacks that didn't match anything!
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We're not registering. We have already been living together for over eight years. Also, we will have very few people at the ceremony itself. My FI is not confident that people invited to the reception back home three days later will want to give us stuff. I suspect they will. But I'm not pushing, because I'd rather she be surprised by things she didn't expect than have us registering for a bunch of stuff, and have her be disappointed by what we don't get.
I really went back and forth on the whole registering process. I wasn't really going to do it, but in the end, decided that there are ALWAYS things that I could use. And I would much rather get something that I selected than leaving it up to the fates!
Because let's face it, people will bring gifts whether you register or not. I think that even if you include a note instructing "No gifts please" they will still come. I'd rather give a little direction...
Edit to my prior post: The moment we sent out invitations, people started asking where we were registered. That was enough to convince NotFroofy that people really did want to give presents, so we've registered at least a few places.
We do not live together but I am not registering because no one from my side of the family is participating in my wedding anyway.
You could do "us" stuff or register at a home improvement store or do a honeymoon registry
This is my 2nd wedding but his first, so we are registering even though we have been living together for 5 years. We still use the dish set that I received from my 1st wedding so we are definitely registering for new dishes & we love to cook so I can always find new things in the kitchen dept. I spoke to my cousin lat night and told him we had set a date & the first thing he asked was "Where are you registered?" so I'm glad we are doing it. We thought about registering at REI as well, but it seems so strange to register for outdoor gear. Has anyone registered there?
I am not encore but my groom is. He encouraged me to register especially since he feels I need my own things although they will be ours. He has a lot of things from his previouis marriage as well as stuff his grandmother left him. I have taken the high road & taken advantage of this. I.E. He has Waterford Glasses which now cost 105 each, I can imagine what they cost over 15 years ago. I decided I would accent and add on to the things he already has - mainly his grandmothers things, but I actually registered for three of the Waterford glasses to complete the set of 8( I guess a few got broken over the years or in their fights LOL) Its not the greatest thing to think about but whatever. He has been really laid back about registering and I think his encore status might have something to do with it- however, he has encouraged me to register and makes it clear his past is his past and this is our wedding. :)
We didn't. Because we already have too much stuff. We are giving and tossing stuff like crazy.
I've been going round and round about this one. At first I was not going to register... now I think I will. Like many of you have mentioned, there are a few things that we would like and just won't go out of our way to purchase. In addition, I think his mother is expecting us to register. So what the hell, if it will make her happy to buy us a fondue pot...that's fine with me!
I would love to but honestly we have so much "stuff" for the house, I would consider a honeymon registry or some sort of specific registry.
We are not registering but we are dong an Amazon wish list. It is basically the same thing, but some people had a problem with it and others encouraged it. This way if people ask we can just say we have a wish list. I am an encore but he isn't...why should he have to miss out on all the fun?
Actually, when me and my ex moved out I refused to take any of it so it's almost like I'm starting from scratch. If people feel weird about it then they shouldn't get me anything and if they don't then that is fine too.
Both of us are encore. He says no gifts but I said why not? I mentioned to one of my friends that I wanted to donate any wedding gifts. She said that if you do that I am not giving you anything. She doesn't know the person I am thinking of has just had a double lung transplant!
So I figure not to register but what is a honeymoon registry?
Katie :)
Well i didnt get any of it with my first marriage... No wedding no parties, no e-ring none of it... so intend to try to get everything i can get away with LOL i want all the parties and everything ... although i have no idea what we would register for because we need no household items
this too, is my second marriage, but my first wedding. we both have houses full of things, but can always add more! i asked him what he wanted as wedding presents to add to the amazon registry, and after the intial 'cash' response he added sheets. ... .
this time is going to be much better. this man is fabulous!!!!!!
We are going to register for a new bedroom furniture and decor, but nothing else. We're hoping to move into a new house purchased together right after the wedding and since I have all the furniture, he's not too happy about making her marriage bedroom the same bedroom another man purchased for me. So, I said we'd just register for that. Initially we'd said no; given I have soooo much stuff already. He has some, but not much. Another idea I had that he didn't feel comfortable doing was a honeymoon registry. I think it's an awesome idea. He opposes and said the groom is responsible for the honeymoon and he'd take care of it. Great thing about two accomplished individuals getting married... you really don't need much and can't figure out what to register for. LOL!!! Now, for those of you that do need some household items, I say register for it. Perfect time to get what you want without having to debate on whether or not it "fits" into the budget. This is the bedroom set I'm hoping to get purchased for us. This might change since 2011 is 2 years away. LOL!!!
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We are not registering as our wedding will only consist of 8 immediate family members and we already set up house together.
But someone did make a wonderful suggestion as far as registering. We could register for our Honeymoon, and people can make payments for that. I thought that was a wonderful idea.
We are registering. We had combined two households when we moved in together and can honestly use better pots/pans and new dishes and such. We have great flatware and glasses so we are good there but yes, we really did seem to fully "register".
Well, a year later and after requesting "no gifts please" on our website I made a small registry. We have a bunch of stuff but it's always nice to get new sheets and towels. I also did it to get the discount on the items after the wedding :-)
We are not asking for gifts, rather a donation to our favorite charity...Keep music in our schools! We both love music and find it essential for children to express themselves. We have everything we need and want to help out a cause!
I seem to be in the minority here... but we are NOT registering for gifts. This is my first marriage and his second. We have only lived together for a year, and are still piecing together his left-over furniture with the furniture from the small house I used to live in. We do not have matching towels, or sheets, or bedroom furniture. But we just don't feel right specifically requesting certain gifts when we have already set up a home together. We are also not having a wedding shower and we are requesting "best wishes only" to our reception after our destination wedding. I was very surprised to read that so many posters said things like "we can always use more stuff!" But to each their own :)
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