Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
FI and I really didn’t want to do a registry but we are being asked by a few people already where we are registered. It’s a second marriage for both of us and we are both in our late forties.
We seriously do not need anything at all, we have just finished combining households, 5 teenagers altogether and no space for anything! We have all the dishes, silverware, china, crystal, towels, linens, etc, that we could need/have space for. I would be ever so happy if guests just attended and had a good time.
What would you do? How do we handle this tastefully within etiquette?
Post # 2
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
People forget the origins of a registry: to help supply the couple with furnishings for their new home, as they would traditionally be moving directly from under their parents’ rooves to an empty shared place. Since it’s your second marriage and you’re not just getting started in life, you don’t need anything. I personally think second marriage registries are incredibly gauche; it sounds like you have your head pretty soundly on your shoulders with that one. Kudos. Maybe a charity registry, if people insist? It’s natural that they want to help congratulate you on your new life, but you don’t need four more toasters anymore!
Post # 3
MrsTtoB: My FI and I are both older and don’t need anything so we decided to set up a sponsorship registry for a guide dog. The registry has been very well received and we feel good about helping someone in a tangible way.
Post # 4
MrsTtoB: I am entering my encore marriage as well, but it’s my fiance’s first. There are things we are needing to set up a house with us all of a sudden being a family of 4 (I’m a young widow with 2 children), but we are planning an international move after the wedding. After consulting my mother, grandmother, and the circle of other friends/family who will be invited, since having a registry is EXPECTED in the area I live, the advice I was given was to do a honeymoon registry (we can afford the honeymoon even if no one contributes, so it’s not like whether or not we honeymoon would hinge on the guests’ contribution) and was specifically told “people want to buy gifts and they expect a registry. Also, this is your second wedding but this is Peter’s first wedding. Let him have the full experience, and the ones you are inviting will love the idea of a honeymoon registry because they know that you need time alone for just the two of you before you automatically jump into mommy/daddy mode”.
I also know that many bees feel it is a huge TABOO to have a honeymoon registry and goes against all rules of etiquette and decorum, but sometimes the rules need to be bent for practicality sake and for the convenience of everyone.
In a nutshell, you do what feels right for you…always 🙂