(Closed) encore engagements– thoughts?

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’ll comment that my aunt has been married 15 times and after husband #3 or so, the excitement began to wane. =P

Post # 5
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

when my friend got engaged again, we were just all really happy that she found a great person. we recognized that the first engagement did not work out for a reason. don’t cloud your happiness with concerns about how they might feel–what matters most is that you’re happy and your family is happy for you (which i’m sure they are).

Post # 7
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I was engaged once before, and I called off the wedding about 2 months beforehand.  This time around, I was nervous about how people would react.  I got a few eyerolls and my family is still kind of meh about it, but many people surprised me by being really, really happy for us and I could tell they just wanted me to be happy. 

Post # 8
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Like LittleSpitfire, I was engaged before and we called off the wedding 6 weeks before we were supposed to get married. That was about 10 years ago, though, so I was much younger then! This time, my family and friends were just as happy, if not happier for me. First, I’m older now and spent several years being single before I met C. Second, and the most important reason, they know what a great guy C is. They also know that I learned a lot from that previous relationship and wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. I don’t think my family or friends were worried about whether this wedding will happen or not, but I know C used to be until I reassured him otherwise. πŸ™‚

Post # 10
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Maybe with your ex, you didn’t get that “encore engagement” because they all kind of knew he wasn’t right for you? I have a friend who got engaged at age 18 (she is almost 23 now) and it ended about a year later. She is now with a wonderful guy and she thinks about being “damaged goods” sometimes, but I think that’s crazy!

When you do get engaged to the right person who will complete your life, your friends and family will be very happy for you I am sure! It will be obvious that this time is different and that this guy is The One. Since you guys aren’t rushing anything right now, I bet with time your family will understand once the time comes to get engaged! Especially when he asks your family for their blessing and as a couple you show them how mature your relationship is.

Post # 11
485 posts
Helper bee

My situation is a bit different. I have never been engaged before, but my Boyfriend or Best Friend was engaged to his ex-GF. That makes me sometimes worry that his friends and family will only think “Well, I hope this one works out!” when we get engaged.

I try not to think about that too much though, as my Boyfriend or Best Friend has told me that he loves me more than he ever loved his ex, and his friends all like me and were really happy for him when we got together. So hopefully they will have nothing but positive things to say about our engagement as well πŸ™‚ 

Post # 12
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Well since this is actually my 3rd official engagement-plenty of other relationships had the discussion of it heading towards marriage but no ring-I thought my family would just kinda roll their eyes and nod and say “uh huh…sure, and this one will actually happen?” but it turned out that they love my Fiance (more then they love me sometimes) and are all super super excited for us. More so then they were the last two times around. My family knows me and they know that my Fiance is perfect for me so they can’t wait for it to be “official”.

Post # 13
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

yep been engaged multiple times before. my mom was never really thrilled. she said i didn’t seem happy.  now i am ecstatic and cannot wait πŸ˜€

Post # 14
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The first time I got engaged it was only 3 months into my relationship. I really fell hard for him, and my family was shocked. They found out that we were engaged by seeing a ring on my finger. It embarrassed one of my aunts who had been in a relationship for 5+ years. They weren’t all that thrilled…and I was really shy about telling people. Not because of my lack of happiness, but because my family’s pretty judgmental and they told me that I was being stupid.

Then we elope, because he’s a Marine and we thought he’d be sent to Iraq. Family doesn’t take too well to this either.

Fast forward 2-3 years, and he abandons me, and within three months I’m with a new guy (current SO), and they’re extremely displeased with me that I didn’t give my cheating ex “enough chances” or “enough time to work things out.” Also, they told me that I was being stupid, again.

Well it’s been almost 3 years since I started dating my SO, and I believe that we may be getting engaged sometime this year…I know my family was trying to warn me about my first, but in all honesty I didn’t get a lot of support during the separation, only from those who really cared.

So in short, I don’t give a flying butt what others think. I don’t even know if I’d invite these people to my engagement party. The same way I took their remarks about me moving on “too quickly”. People are going to do what it takes to be happy. It’s no one’s business to decide whether or not you’re going to be happy with someone because in all honesty, no one really knows.

Post # 15
521 posts
Busy bee

I think we are going to get engaged *REALLY* soon! We spent the weekend talking about weddings, prenups, receptions, wills, powers of attorney, love, expectations, ‘what is “doing it right”?’, etc.

I know everyone who loves me will shout a collective “hooray!” when they hear we are engaged. I had a really bad time years ago when I was married. This many is the sweetest, kindest, smartest and best…so many things I thought I’d never find all together in the same wonderful package. I am celebrating inside already! Will let you know what happens…I told him that when he decides he definitely wants to marry me, I’d like a nice dinner out and to be asked there. He seemed to think that made sense.


Post # 16
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I wasn’t engaged before (well, not officially, though my ex and I talked about it), but my husband was. It was a premature relationship (they were only together for two weeks before getting engaged) and had a lot of issues. So when we got engaged, there were definitely people who brought up that relationship and had concerns that it was going to end the same way. It was rough, especially because my best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor was one of those, but I was also confident enough that our relationship WAS different, that my husband had learned from his mistakes, and I tried to communicate that. And in general, the people who knew both of us the best and were actively involved in our lives during our relationship were thrilled and supportive.

So yeah, you may have some people that make comments or express concerns, but as long as you’re confident that tihs is different, don’t let their comments get to you

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