Post # 1
just wondering… WHY am i not getting any?!
HIS family is all for everything that we want to do. I dont want big foofy princess wedding.. i’m going for elegant, simplistic sophistication… and the second the ring went on my finger my parents both said, “have fun planning, you’ll get no help or money out of me”
i guess i should add…
1st wedding was planned by ME, MYSELF, and I when i was 17, and about to graduate high school, in 2 months to fit into an R&R trip home and was done with only $4000, of which i contributed about $1500, the rest was by my mother. NO help from my father or the entirety of the grooms side. I then got pregnant and he left us…
This time, i’ll be almost 22, wanting to marry in a very small ceremony and have a GREAT reception for about $10,000 total for 120 guests
Post # 3
So I guess you are referring to financial support? I don’t think it’s uncommon for couples to foot the bill for their weddings these days, so IMHO this doesn’t seem that unusual to me. This is the second wedding for both my FI and I and we’re paying for it completely on our own (we both paid for our first weddings on our own as well).
I’m sorry that you don’t feel that you are receiving the support you’d like, but maybe you can really take a hard look at your budget and see what you CAN afford and what is going to have to be cut.
Post # 4
I agree about most couples, especially encore couple footing the bill. We’re getting married for the second time and minus a couple small contributions (like under $1000) from my parents, we’re footing the whole bill. It’s tough, but you just need to sit down and decide what you can/can’t afford.
Post # 5
First of all I’m sorry they’re acting this way. I understand though how parents can sometimes view a second or subesquent wedding. But yours is imho a different kind. You were young, barely out of high school and about to become a mom and now? You’ve lived, learned, and are a mom! Kudos to you for being able to pull all of this off at 22~
You can never predict being a first time bride or an encore bride how the family will react and how they will provide. When I was a first time bride, my family didn’t pay for that much, but my former H did. He paid for about 80 percent of the entire wedding including the rehersal dinner. My parents didn’t even buy my own wedding dress. I did. And I paid for the bridesmaids’ luncheon, a good bit of the food at the wedding too.
Hive hugs to you. Just know you’re not alone. There are many brides here who are having to go it alone financially on their wedding day too and you can count me in as one of them! But I am older and more able to afford things though (just turned 40). Never fear..the hive is here and you have some crafty bees here and we can help stretch a dime and give style advice here for free and DIY divas who can bring style tips and projects that cost a fraction of what a professional would charge!
Post # 6
My family is not giving me any financial or emo support either. I feel very sorry for FI because he wants a big wedding and we just cant have that without my extremely wealthy parents help. My parents think this wedding is a “joke” since I left my ex 10 years ago after 3 weeks and had it annulled. They aren’t even being nice. I don’t care about money but they roll their eyes whenever FI and I mention the wedding plans.
Post # 7
I’m sorry for your frustration. When I first got engaged, I didn’t feel very supported either. As time moved on, slowly they (my parents) got more involved. Now, we are planning and my mom is much more involved and even seems excited, whereas before it really bummed me out that it didn’t even seem like she was happy for us. I felt like my parents had the notion of “You’ve been married before, whats the big deal?” When, in reality (albeit my reality) this is an even bigger deal than it was when I got married when I was younger. I have found a great guy and I GET it now. All that goes in to a marriage and just all of it. The first time around, I had a courthouse ceremony and my mom could not even be there. so, finally a couple of weekends ago my mom was telling me that my dad finally started asking questions about the wedding and logistics and she said that this is like my first wedding bc I did not have a wedding the first time. That made me happy, that she finally saw it like I did.
I hope they come around for you. (((((BIG HUGS)))))
Post # 8
thanks ladies. I just dont understand why they wouldnt want to help when THIS is the REAL wedding… ya know? before it was my on again off again boyfriend that was completely munipulative and pushy and made me into a shadow of myself so i could be his door mat. THIS time its a man that i have known and loved for 7 years and the timing is finally right and we get to be together happily ever after…. and my parents both act like what happened last time will happen again.
FOB says he contributed enough ($0) last time and that this time he will need to be saving his money for his own wedding… (he is NOT engaged, just seriously dating)
MOB says she is still paying off the debt from the first wedding… and to this i say “SHENANIGANS” because i have been making payments to her for almost 4 years now. She also says she has her own wedding to think about and is COMPLETELY against me having any sort of ceremony AT ALL. She says courthouse and a nice dinner after for us and our parents and nothing more.
We arent asking for alot.. the fiance and i have figured out that we can easily come up with 75% of the budget and would like for our families to assist with the remaining 25%… and i know that my Future ILs would throw the entire $10,000 at us for the wedding and not just the $500 from each parent and $250 from his grandparents (which they have all already offered “to start”), but why should they be the only ones helping us pay for anything? I feel like a lack of interest and a lack of financial support only means that they dont support my decision, my fiance, or our future together.
Post # 9
@KB… im sorry, im confused. you married at 17 and youre now almost 22 but you have been with your current FI for 7yrs…. did i miss something
Post # 10
we havent been together for 7 years, he was my “first love” and he moved away, so we had to break up… we have been in love with eachother for 7 years
Post # 11
we’ve been back together since March of 08 and i’ll be 21 in october, (Almost 22 at the wedding)