Post # 1
Hello my fellow lovely encores-
The circumstances of my divorce were rather sudden (discovered him in an affair with a colleague after years of drowning in his emotional neglect and constant cynicism) and at the time, I just threw my e-ring and band in a box and left at my parent’s house for safe-keeping without much thought. For reference, it’s a one carat round brilliant solitaire of good quality in a platinum half pave setting with a matching platinum band with pave around the front half of it. Flash forward a few years later, I have met the most fun and affectionate man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. As I start thinking about this path, I feel more and more that having the old ring (even out of sight) is bad juju.
It’s my understanding that you rarely re-cover the value of a diamond if you re-sell it and quite honestly, I don’t even know where to start so as to not get ripped off. My mother suggested making into another piece of jewelry (i.e. diamond solitaire pendant) either for myself or for a future child. Given the extreme negativity of my previous marriage, I don’t know that I would be comfortable with I or my future child wearing even that. My parents have been incredibly incredibly supportive and I would be happy to give the ring to my mother if she had any use for it, but she’s not a jewelry person at all.
So, what to do with the old ring? I’d love to hear what other encores have done and if you sold it, how you went about it.
Post # 3
In my case I had children with my ex so I threw our rings in a box and I figured when they’re about 16 I’ll make them some different jewlery, but that’s only because it’s their dad. I wouldn’t do it for a future child. If you can try to sell it, that’s what I would do in your shoes. Maybe you can earn some wedding money 🙂
Post # 4
My mom made hers into a diamond solitare pendant.
I don’t know what I would do though…I honestly don’t think I could sell it just because of the type of person I am ( I would always think about how much money was lost).
Post # 5
I had a daughter with my ex and as a gift to her (she’s 13) for my remarriage, I had the 1 carat radiant cut diamond (and a few baguettes) reset as a pendant for her. It turned out beautifully and actually looks better than it did in the ring. 🙂
Post # 6
I sold mine. I just didn’t think I would wear anything made with the stones. I didn’t want the reminder hanging around. I didn’t get much for it, but it was a relief to have it gone and I needed the cash at the time.
Post # 7
I’d hold onto it and see what you feel like doing when you are older. Even if the ring has a negative feeling, I think resetting it into something gorgeous for your future child would take away the negativity. A diamond is a diamond!
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
I’m kind of with EJS on this one….I totally understand the bad circumstances behind the diamond but like she said “a diamond is a diamond” and they aren’t cheap nor do they come along frequently in most people’s lives…Honestly, I would probably leave it where it is for a few more years and see how you feel then. If it’s still bothering you to hold onto it, then maybe it’s time to sell but I would just wait a bit…I liked the option of having it made into something for your mom, that would be a very nice present!
Post # 9
I voted– sell it! I agree that a stone is a stone and I don’t actually believe in “bad juju.” I wouldn’t hesitate to buy a “divorced diamond” or anything… but THIS diamond was a gift. I would always worry about people commenting on it and asking where I got it. I just think I couldn’t separate the man from the stone.
Post # 10
My daughter found my wedding band – plain yellow gold as we were in the Army when we got married and it worked the best with all the field work and things going on – and has it now. I have no ties to it and never really liked it so it really doesn’t mean anything to me. She did show it to my FI at some point before we were engaged and I made a point of telling him that it was NOT me and that yellow gold is on my least favorite items list.
According to the ex’s sister, his current has my e-ring and that is fine with me. My daughter said that the girlfriend did wear a ring liek the one that she has seen me wearing in some pictures.
If you have kids, I would make something out of the old set and if not, sell it and put it towards spending money on the honeymoon or towards the cost of the wedding. Sure you may not get all the money it’s really worth, but what does it really matter.
If you think it’s bad juju then get it out of your life and be done with it!
Let us know what you decide!
Post # 11
I’m keeping it for my daughter for when she’s older. She can either wear it or sell it- she can decide.
Post # 12
I took my old e-ring and old wedding band and the plain band that I wore when I was pregnant with my twins (three sizes bigger than my original ring size…talk about swelling!) and put them in a small jewelry box in my safety deposit box. Their dad gave them to me and while I’ll never have a use for any of them, one or both of my kids may like to have them some day.
Post # 13
I was going to sell my first engagement and wedding rings, but my son asked to buy them from me. He pointed out that while they might have bad associations for me, for him they were a reminder of the relationship that produced him.
Post # 14
@2dbride, that’s really sweet =]. I bet he got a good deal, too, teehee
Post # 15
Well my ex also had an affair and was a [email protected]@ even after I found out (we’d just built our new home, were doing great financially, even wanting another child so it was just bizarre that he’d even do that as we had a good relationship) and when he found out I was divorcing him, he deliberately tried to cause me financial devastation so I’d go running back (mean I know).
I didn’t. And yes, he caused great financial problems with me (and himself) like he was self-destructing. He did things very quickly and deliberately, even before we’d had time to go before the mediator and my attorney said he’d never seen anybody do this before. So I was in financial ruin, my marriage was also in ruin and I had this gorgeous 2.4 ct radiant cut diamond solitaire set in platinum with 3 carats also of baguettes encircling the whole band. It was gorgeous. But it was also imho in ruin and I could not look at the ring without crying.
So I did the prudent thing and sold it. Only thing I kept was the thin plat band I had that was the wedding band. And I sent it back to him because I didn’t want that either. I sent it along with a heart wrenching letter saying all I had to say.
I know I couldn’t see that band or the stone on anybody else because it would bring to mind the saddest time of my life and and be a reminder of the sudden pain I’d experienced. I wished somebody else to enjoy it more and have better luck and love.
for me, selling was the only thing to do. And because it was costly, it dug me out of the hole my former husband deliberately dug for me and pushed me into.
Post # 16
I am selling mine as well. The diamond in my original e-ring was my grandmothers so I will be keeping that. I won’t get much for it but I really just want it gone…something is better than nothing.