Encouragement after multiple miscarriages

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@wirsbxo:  I cannot relate, but I wanted to give you a heartfelt I’m sorry anyway and let you know I am rooting for you. My mom had 5 miscarriages in 5 years before I came along, and she said it never got easier. Everyone was like, “Oh well. You can just try again” but that wasn’t the point. My mom was very blessed in other aspects of her life, but she wanted to be a mom. She was finally successful with me and then my brother 3 years later.

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you get your BFP very soon.

Post # 4
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am sorry too. I do not know how you feel but if I was in your shoes, I would try to be happy for other things you have in your life.

I’m 37 and my DH is 43 and we are trying for our 1st baby for over 6 months.

We had lengthy discussions about it and we came to the conclusion that we can be very happy with just the 2 of us and if a child comes, it will be a very special gift that both of us really want but we are enough.

If we cannot have a child, we would travel all over the world and be financially set and have everything that we desire.

If there is a child, we would have less in terms of financial wealth but we would have a priceless gift to nuture and grow.

Either way, we saw that we could very happy.

Post # 6
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I had a chemical in July and was pregnant again in August.  I’m now almost 16w.  Hang in there– it is hard, but things DO work out.  There are a ton of options these days, no matter if you need reproductive assistance or not.  Good luck.

Post # 9
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@wirsbxo:  I do understand. My husband is an introvert and I know he really wants a child too (I think he wants it more than I do) but he does tell me that I am more than enough to make him happy and to handleWink. It took us a long time to find each other. I would also suggest that  you remind yourself that the strength of your character and willpower truly manifest when you are down and your own determination will shine when things seem hopeless. It is when you are down that you realize your own strength. Like the PP wrote, her mother tried 5 times and her perseverance was rewarded. Always remind yourself, I am strong enough to try one more time.

Post # 10
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, miscarriage can be a very confusing and lonely experience. I had a miscarriage in July and again in October this year, both equally difficult.  I think we all start out thinking that pregnancy is a very pure and wonderful experience and then after miscarriage that image changes. The journey to having a family is not as easy as it seems.  

With both our miscarriages I’ve found strength in my marriage, my husband is a wonderful person and has been there for me.  There are days when I feel very optimistic about the future and then days when I feel like I never want to go through that physical/emotional pain every again. What has helped me the most is knowing that God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.  Just knowing that keeps me looking towards the future. 

It’s really great that you were able to share your story here on the bee, sometimes just talking about it helps. Hugs! 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@wirsbxo:  Don’t get discouraged. Try to focus on the end result and not so much how/when you get there. I let myself wallow for a day or two after each miscarriage or failed IVF cycle then HAD to pick myself up and move on. Worrying won’t change it, but moving forward in hope and love can make the journey easier to bear. I hope that you tune your Mom out, that junk is so not helpful. I got told so much nonsense and it’s like ” Ya know what people? Back off! Let me do this. Eating only grapefruit or only having sex on Wednesday or whatever else will only make me crazy”. It’s hard and anyone who tells you different hasn’t been there. But it’s doable especially with support. I wish you all the best of luck 🙂

Post # 12
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry for your losses, and that you are feeling so discouraged. I don’t know how this feels, but I thought I’d share a story. A good friend of mine had a miscarriage about 7 month’s ago. She was scheduled to go in for her 10 week appointment and get her US and maybe a day ahead, she started bleeding and it was confirmed that it was a MC, unfortunately the baby had passed quite a few weeks before and it took awhile for her body to figure it out.

Today she sent me a picture message of a 6w4d ultra sound. Baby has a perfect little heart beat. It’s early, yes, but usually when mc’s happen, they are a fluke. When you DO get your BFP, go get an early US and a blood test. A blood test can rule out any hormonal imbalances. My friend is on progesterone already, and who knows. Maybe that is the one thing that last baby needed that it never got. 

Post # 13
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

My mother was told by a doctor that she would never have a child, tried for a couple years, had a miscarriage, then me, then another miscarriage, then my sister.

All things are possible – she often spoke about taking us to that doctor! 

(A word of warning: both pregnancies were very difficult, including early labor and lots of bed rest, but we were both healthy, if a little early!)

Post # 14
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I too have suffered two miscarriages. Each one was crushing. Now I am 6.5 weeks pregnant. So far everything seems to be going fine, but I still approach everything with trepidation. My doctor also told me that my situation was common and normal and did not want to pursue testing after “just” two miscarriages. I am trying to trust her and live my life optimistically. I hope you will find the courage to try again soon. 

Post # 15
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@wirsbxo:  I am in this exact same situation, two m/c and ttc again. I dont really have any words of encouragement as this post will help me just as much as you but dont give up. Our rainbow babies will be here soon FX for us xx

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