- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Alright…. help me please!
I’ve been dealing with a crap ton of BM drama. Long story short, one of my BM is also a bride, and I’m her BM. She has super high expectations that I can’t realistically meet — I live 8 hours away — and I have been “failing” her on a daily basis. She called to ask me to step down, but did it in a very emotionally manipulative way. Basically, we left things saying that I had to decide if:
1) I was her BM — even though she basically told me she was reimbursing me money so I didn’t have to participate
2) She was my BM — even though at the time I told her I still wanted her as one
That was a few weeks ago. If I’m honest, she has emotionally drained me. I can’t bring myself to make that phone call. my family, friends and other BM all tell me I should just email her. So, I’m going to. I have two seperate drafts written out. Which should I send?
Straight off the bat, I’d like to apologize for not calling. With everything that has happened, I’ve just been emotionally drained. I haven’t had the strength to make a phone call that I wasn’t sure how it would go. I’ve spent time resting and rejuvenating my mind, and although things still stress me out, I’m not in such a bad place anymore. Wedding planning has done a number on my mental health.
I’d also like to thank you for being so gracious during our last phone call. It wasn’t an easy conversation. But one of the things I love most about you is your grace. I know during that conversation we made only one decision, that I would step down as a bridesmaid, however we never decided on my wedding. You had told me to think about it and talk with FI. So, I did just that. If I’m completely honest with you, it seems as though you’re wanting and needing to focus on you and your wedding. Which I completely understand. I think we should do our best to be attenders at each others weddings instead of attendants.
As far as the dresses go, if you’ve already purchased yours for my wedding, don’t worry about reimbursing me for mine. There was only about a $50 price difference between the dresses anyway.
Thank you for your love and friendship. Both mean so much to me 🙂
I’d like to start by telling you how much you mean to me. We’ve been thru so much with each other, made so many memories, and have created a great bond and friendship. I feel as though we’re those kinds of friends where we may not have seen each other for years, yet when we’re reunited its like no time has passed at all. Those are the real, true, and best friendships. The kind to fight for! They’re very rare. You, my dear friend, are a gem! So unique and wonderful! I am truly blessed to know you!
If I’m going to be honest, you should know that I feel all this bridesmaid drama nonsense is causing our friendship to disintegrate. I take full responsibility for my role in this, and I know things would’ve been very different if I lived closer. Being an out of town bridesmaid is difficult on everyone, and I think in this particular case, it caused more harm than good, so I’d like to put an end to it right now. I want to be able to patch up our friendship and be able to make many more memories with you. I think the first step in doing that would be to do our best to be attenders at each others weddings instead of being attendants.
I really do value and treasure you! I only want the best for you, and for you to be happy. This situation is not bringing you any joy, and thats what weddings are all about. The last thing I want is for you to go into the best day of your life with an unhappy heart.
I love you very much.