Post # 1
Recently, my finace and i have been clashing left and right. He makes rash decisions without my consent, putting unimportant things (like video games) before me, and spending big amounts of money without consulting me.
His family treats me very poorly and he never stands up for me, and doens’t seem to think that their behavior is wrong. I don’t know what to do because it is not my place to stand up to them.
We are in the process of looking for apartments together, and honestly i don’t know if i want to continue with the wedding.
I am starting to rethink it constantly and i’m not excited about it anymore. I get very stressed when i have to sit down and plan anything that has to do with it. I just think of all the decisions that his family is going to frown upon, the people who could ruin my day, and what happens after all the “magic” of the wedding day is over… will i still be just as excited or happy?
Mainly i just want to know… how can i deal with this? Can i get some advice from people who have been threw this? Or have dealt with my issues?
How do i present this to my finace without actually ending the whole relationship? And what do i do if he flips out and leaves me?
I need some help please..
Post # 3
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this! Might come across as a cliche response, but have you considered premarital counseling? It really helps a lot of couples. The part about him not standing up for you is especially worrying, and that isn’t something that will get better after the wedding – and imagine how awful that would be once you have kids. But honestly, if he flips out and leaves you because you try to discuss this with him…well, then you dodged a bullet by having that happen before the wedding instead of after. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can’t have an honest conversation with when you’re upset.
*Hugs* And you’re one of the first bees I’ve seen from my area (I think it says MI but I live just outside of Toledo. Sorry, unrelated, just felt the need to comment on that.
Post # 4
its such a hard situation do you think he would hear what your saying and improve on it?
Post # 5
@Pan_the_Capricorn: Gosh girl, you sound just like me!! I am also considering ending my engagement, my fiance takes his family’s side ALL THE TIME. He never stands up for me, blames me for his family hating me, and its just all ridiculous. They say when you marry the guy you marry the family as well, and my fiance’s family is not the greatest. They love to argue and confront anyone. I’ve been with him for 5 years and i just don’t know what to do 🙁
But since i’m in the same situation as you, i’m not sure what to tell you, but all i can say is, a man who cant stand up for you is not worth marrying. A husband should be our protector, a husband should be able to confront satan if he had to for his wife, and i guess thats what bothers me the most about my fiance. I wish you the best of luck girl, maybe you should try counseling, but sometimes its just a waste of time and nothing get’s better.