(Closed) Ending friendship with moh?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

why are there so many Asians here

You officially have my permission to dump your racist-ass friend.

Post # 5
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

The whole time I was reading this I was thinking “I’ve acted like that before…when I was a kid”…I think it’s time to show her the door.

Post # 6
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@MsNarwhal:  It doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship and esp. for a moh. I had a friend exactly like this, even worse, she hooked up with one of my ex’s..Wow! I ended the friendship by not talking to her.. She got the picture. In your case though, I would tell her in person how you feel. If you don’t want her at your wedding tell her your reasons why. Good luck!

Post # 8
22 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MsNarwhal:  You have every right to tell them you just want to relax the first night, and who is she to tell eveyone that you did not have a panick attack.  She, as your Maid/Matron of Honor, should be there to make sure you are happy and having a good time.

Im sorry to say but it looks like you barchelorette party was not about you BUT her – to make her happy, no fast food, no buffet, starbucks order wrong – Like come on?!?!?

Have you talk to her about the trip?

Post # 10
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

She sounds like she’s out of control and extremely immature.  If you’re ready to end this friendship, I say you go for it.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older, it’s that I am too old for bullshit!  If someone doesn’t want to be a respectful and caring friend to me, there are plenty of other people who will.

Post # 11
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

yikes, this girl sounds like a real gem…

in the interest of long time friendship i guess i would say try to talk to her about it. maybe something was happening that made her act particularly awful this weekend? if she gets combative or pulls anymore crap, then yeah i could see not wanting to maintain a friendship with her…

Post # 12
368 posts
Helper bee

I can see why you’re mad – that sounds horrible – but I don’t think you;d be posting this here if you were totally ready to end the friendship. I think before you officially end the friendship, you should try to have a serious (non-angry) talk with her about her behavior. Give her a chance to admit she was wrong and apologize to you. She needs to know that if she treats people this way, you’ll be too embarrassed to have her in your wedding party. If she can’t have a serious talk with you and flies off the handle, then that might help you answer the question of what you should do.

If you DO continue being friends with her – or even if you’re just acquaintances after this – then I think you need to shut down the racism/criticism of other people. If it embarrasses you and bothers you, tell her to stop saying things like that. You shouldn’t have to tolerate that, so don’t. 

Post # 13
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Im with you.   You  might get a few comments about not ruining a friendship over wedding stuff, but honestly, its NOT the wedding stuff – its the issues that happen to come up because of the wedding, and it doesn’t make those issues less important or less real.  I had to have an awkward, potentially friendship ending, and definite bridal party ending conversation with a friend who felt toxic to me. It sucked, I’m going to be honest, its an unpleasant conversation to have – and you always have that nagging feeling “am I being reasonable here?”  … but afterwards, the sense of relief I felt made it ALL worth it.

I’m sorry this friend wrecked your bachelorette party.  🙁

Post # 14
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This reminds me of a trip I took with 3 of my best friends a few years ago. It was a complete and total disaster from the beginning and ended in a screaming match during the car ride home. I don’t talk to any of those girls any more and I’m happy to have that drama out of my life.

If you really want to know what’s going on you can talk to her but she doesn’t sound like the sort of person who would own up to her own bad attitude.

Post # 15
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Ew – she sounds totally gross. Why were you getting everyone breakfast at your own bachelorette party?? Also the Asian comment? Just ew. She sounds like a hot mess and a terrible friend/person. I would totally fire her.

Post # 16
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Ugh, I cringed with awkwardness sooo many times reading your story! I would have died of embarrassment being with her on that trip! Has she always been that off-color/rude?? I know you mentioned the competitiveness, but maybe something else is going on in her life? Family troubles or something?

I am definitely for getting people out of your life that do more harm than good. I think an honest face-to-face conversation would be best to get everything out in the open. Good luck OP!

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