Post # 1
Hello fellow Brides!!
Who out there is engaged for over 2 years? My fiance and I got engaged in June 2008 but are not getting married until August 2010. He is in law school and we will not be getting married until he is all done with school and the Bar Exam. We went to breakfast a few weeks after we got engaged to discuss when we be getting married. Because of law school we had 3 choices: Summer 2009, which I didn’t think I would have enough time to find a location in Santa Barbara which books up notoriously fast; Winter Break 2009, which would leave us very little time to honeymoon and would be too close to the holidays; or end of Summer 2010, which would have to take place about a month after he took the Bar Exam.
Although I wish we were getting married sooner I am happy we decided to wait. It is giving me more than enough time to plan and get everything together. I am worried though that any ideas I have now I will not like in 17 months and I am hesitant to do anything yet. Since my fiance will be studying for finals and the Bar Exam the last 3-4 months before the wedding I will be doing most of the last minute decisions by myself, which everyone jokes would probably be happening anyway.
Who out there will be engaged for over 2 years? Why are waiting that long and are you happy out your decision to do so?
Post # 3
We are going to have been engaged for just about two years (we’re still trying to set a specific date). We were engaged July 2008 and are planning for June or July 2010.
For us it was because we both wanted an outdoor venue and where we live, we’re limited to summer in order to guarantee decent weather (although that’s still not guaranteed, lol!). We originally thought Summer 09, but I was finishing up college by studying abroad and I didn’t want to worry about wedding planning while abroad, or have to come back and plan in 6 months. So we just pushed it back.
I feel very much like you in that I’m happy that we’re waiting because it will give me a lot of time to plan and DIY things (thus saving money), and give us time to stretch out the spending of the money. But I’m also afraid that whatever I decide on now I will not be happy with then. All I can do about it is try to pick things that are simple and classic, and not too "trendy".
Post # 4
When we first got engaged a lot of the ideas I was thinking of were very trendy. Over time I’ve moved on. I try to go over all the pictures I’ve saved and magazine pages I’ve ripped out every few weeks and toss what I’m no longer interested. What I once liked I may not like a month later.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2018 - The Grand Old House, Grand Cayman
We have a 2.5 year engagement! I didn’t start planning until about 6 months before, because I knew I would change my mind a zillion times in that long of a time span!
@emagnus10: I am in law school and I definitely think you could bump up your wedding if you wanted to! Law school is hard, but not so hard that you can’t get married! A lot of my classmates have gotten married in school and it hasn’t conflicted with school or jobs! I am getting married right smack in the middle of my last semester, and I am the one planning the wedding! If your fiance is anything like mine, you will be doing most of the wedding planning, so it shouldn’t take that much work on his part! Plus, studying for the bar is so grueling that I didn’t want to have the planning/showers/etc. going on right before I take the most important test of my life!
Post # 6
We have been engaged to 4 years… Long time. I only started planning the wedding last April. I feel like I have nothing done 🙁
Post # 7
We are also waiting two years. We were engaged this past Halloween and plan to marry October 2010.
The original reason was because I am taking classes to become Catholic. My baptism, communion and confirmation will not take place until Easter of 2010. We are happy about this because we can use the time to save money, as we are paying for everything. I am doing a lot of DIY projects also (yay!) and all of those little details take time!
My future MIL was very unhappy that we are picked a date so far away (she said we made succumb to "temptation") and even went to the Msgr. of the church to ask if he would move up my baptism. After my fiance spoke with her about the inappropriateness of her actions, I believe she has resigned herself to it.
Post # 8
We’re coming up on it in a month! And it’ll probably be that way for a while. My dad fell seriously ill right after we got engaged. I’m such a daddy’s girl I wanted to give him time to recover fully. He kept telling all his doctors to make him better asap so he could walk his baby girl down the aisle! He’s doing much better, but we’ve got a long road ahead of us to get through as a family.
I’ve got all my vendors picked out, it’s just a matter of saying "go!" at this point!
Post # 9
I’m in law school as well and have been engaged since 2006. We originally planned on getting married the summer before I started law school, but time wasn’t on our side. We decided that the best time to do things would be to get married during Winter 2009- before I graduate in 2010 and start bar exam study, because after this I will be working and wont have time to plan a wedding.
I agree with Ms. Kitten, law school is hard but you can still have a wedding- especially when its the groom thats in law school
Post # 10
We got engaged Jan 2, 2007 and are getting married in September 2010, so just under a 4 year engagement here. I am in law school, like your fiance, and so I understand the wait. It is actually pretty refreshing to have the time to wait and plan and discuss.
Post # 11
My engagement is 2 years and 2 months! We waited since we bought a house right after we got engaged. It was my choice, 1 year just seemed to stressful, so I wanted the two year engagement. Of course it is still stressful. The only drawback is that you have lots of time to second guess yourself on decisions and keep up the momentum of planning I lose motivation and then get it back, like a roller coaster!!
Post # 12
How great that there’s so many bees with longer engagements and connections to law school! I too am going to have a two year engagement. My fiance and I just got engaged this month but have already decided we would like to wait a couple years and have a winter wedding in 2010/2011.
He just started law school this year and I will begin law school in the fall so we thought it would be best to wait at least two years so that we can both be "comfortable" in our studies. Plus, winters in our tropical location are gorgeous and I couldn’t imagine having less than a year to plan! I feel so new to everything, so thank goodness for Weddingbee!
Post # 13
I’m so glad to hear all your guys stories about long engagements. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one! Whenever people ask when the date is I always get these responses of "why so far away?" and I know people who got engaged after me who are getting married before me.
But really, what’s the hurry? I’ll want to marry him just as much then as I do now!
Props to all you law school bees! I probably wont start grad school until Fall of 2010 (not because of the wedding, although helpful to get it out of the way) but I’m not sure I could handle planning a wedding and going through school, especially law school!
Post # 14
I’m also going to be engaged over two years. We got engaged in June 2008 and will be married in October 2010. We needed to save money, and I didn’t want to have to rush the planning as I had just started a new job. I am quite tired of people thinking that it’s weird that we’re waiting so long!
Post # 15
I get the same questions about why so long. Or looks from people that say "aw, that’s too bad". I get so annoyed. I chose to wait this long. I have no problem with it. No need to feel sorry for me.
I must commend all the bees who are in law school and planning a wedding. I don’t think I could do it. Major props to all you ladies!!
Post # 16
By the time we get married, we will have been engaged for over two years. We got engaged about a month ago and haven’t yet set a date (or even really announced it). He proposed minus a ring, just because it felt like a good moment for it, which I loved. I think we’ll be making it official sometime in the next few months.
I just graduated from college five months ago, and at 22, I just don’t feel like I’m ready to get married quite yet. I know several people who got engaged/married right out of college, or even while still IN college, but it’s just not something I want to do right away. I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of being married until I’m about 25.
I want us to spend some time being together with me out of school, and also some time living together before we get married (we’re moving in together this summer when our current, separate leases end). He is several years older than I am but is not in a rush to get married because of that or anything. I have almost no savings and am going to try very hard in the next couple of years to start putting money away. The idea of planning a wedding, and the costs related to it, are daunting to me, and I want to make sure we have plenty of time to explore our options as far as planning goes.
Also, less importantly, we want his niece and my youngest second cousin (who are currently 3 months and 13 months old, respectively) to be flower girl and ring bearer. We’ve gotta wait until they’re at least two and three years old!