Post # 1
I thought I would be so ecstatic and happy once we finally got engaged. I could put all the thoughts I had seen in blogs into motion. Fast forward 1 month into being engaged and I want OUT of wedding planning. It’s incredibly frustrating to me, all the details, the cost. I vary between thinking it’s worth spending $25K on the wedding OR just calling a few family members to come witness it at the JOP.
Anyone dealt with this in the early stages of planning?
Post # 3
I’ve been planning my wedding since I was 14. Now that I can actually put it in motion…. I hate it… PM me if you need to vent
Post # 4
@NJmeetsBX: I remember this feeling. I definitely think the beginning is the worst. Figuring out a budget, location and guest list is the worst. We seriously discussed eloping at one point but I knew deep down that I would have been disappointed. The best thing we did was go out to dinner one night with a notebook and seriously discuss our priorities.
Post # 5
@NJmeetsBX omg I’m so there!
I’ve been engaged a few months but can’t figure anything out…. I need a venue! I’m so unbelievably stressed and everything is expensive! And if I can’t get my venue for this fall soon, I’m going to have to get married next spring! I just don’t know if I can wait that long.
Post # 6
That wasn’t me. I was the girl who a week later at her spreadsheet of vendors price/quotes inspirations boards, etc. I was nuts. My friend was like you, she’d been thinking about so much that when it came time to put the plan in motion she didnt want to pull the trigger and was thinking of throwing in the towel and heading to Vegas. My advice would be slow down and don’t let it consume you. Don’t feel like you have to do everything all at once. Also pin point what kind of wedding you want. IF you want a wedding but don’t want the pricetag just downsize. Now is the time you have all the options and can plan that small inexpensive wedding. Good Luck!
Post # 7
Honestly, after really getting into it I have many moments of “let’s just elope…”. I just keep telling myself it will be worth it once it is over! And even in my totally over it moments, I still find myself trawling wedding sites and making lists so maybe I’m not as over it as I think!
Post # 8
We have figured out a budget and narrowed the guest list as much as we could. Any more narrowing and we both felt like we were cutting important people out. Guest list is one of our prirorities as is location. Unfortunately, that leaves us with a small budget for the reception which I don’t think will give us the reception we both would like.
We have discussed, a DW which neither of us really wants. We have also discussed a small ceremony followed by a meal. Though this could be intimate and beautiful I do think we’ll regret not having a party like atmosphere.
Post # 9
@Mrs.Vowrenewal: Funny, I was the complete opposite. I was never one of those girls who envisioned my wedding as a young girl/teenager/young adult. Honestly, I got to the point where I wasn’t even sure I would get married! LOL
But then when I did get engaged, I really got into the planning and had the best time obsessing over all the details… my friends got such a kick out of it. 🙂
OP: I agree with PPs – stop, breathe, and think about what you want. At the beginning, you need to focus on ONE THING AT A TIME. First, discuss must-haves and set a few priorities with your FI (big or small? formal or informal? religious or not? do you prefer a certain season?). Estimate your maximum guest list and then focus on choosing a venue & date (they go hand-in-hand).
Until you choose your venue, do not let yourself get overwhelmed with other details – flowers, decor, attire, etc. That can all come later. Good luck and try to have fun with it!
Post # 10
I felt exactly this way. I hated how expensive it was! I was stressing out over finances and I hadn’t even been engaged for two weeks. I am not the type that wants to have a huge wedding anyway and because we are paying cash for everything without any financial assistance, eloping made sense.
I will be with the people that I adore the most in this world: my fiance and my daughters and in the end, I love that we are planning the most elaborate family day ever vs. feeding a bunch of people that I could just have over for a party for a quarter of the cost.
Post # 11
I think the best thing is to pace yourself, dont do too much wedding stuff at a time otherwise you just get sick of it. Just set weekly goals or monthly goals and try to do a bit each month
Post # 12
To be honest, the initial part of wedding planning was JUST THE WORST! I have to say I’m lucky in the sense that I didn’t have to worry too much about the budget…You’d think that’d make it easier but seriously it made it SO HARD as there were SO many conflicting opinions and I just never knew who to listen to. And various family members would get upset if I didn’t take their advice on board…blah blah blah…Not to mention the INVITES…oh my word…The guestlist was a NIGHT MARE!
However…it does get better. Once you actually get a steady foundation, an idea of what you want, it gets easier. My advice, pick your battles, sometimes it’s easier to nod, smile and move on then pick fights over various stuff i.e. family…I wish that’s something I had done. Always remember the world is not going to fall apart if everything isn’t perfect, so relax and enjoy this and try and think of the wedding as just a big gathering in which friends and family come together to celebrate your union. Makes it less stressful!
Post # 13
OP: I was just going to write a thread about this Ive been engaged since last August and we just started planning with our families. Im trying to include people that I know want to be included and its hard. We had a family dinner and my mom and FMIL were over talking eachother the whole night. It was so frustrating and made me so sad when I left i just cried in my bathroom because its so overwhelming…I told both of them I need a break already!
Post # 14
@bells: I agree. Pacing yourself is the best. Getting the big things out of the way is the most frustrating because those are the biggest cost. Everything else can be done DIY or found for cheap. Plan backwards. Figure out the overall vision of your wedding and what you want to accompish. Do you want a casual get together with a wedding as a bonus or do you want a formal black tie affair? Focus on the overall goal before you start driving yourself crazy about chair covers and napkins.
Post # 15
It’s really easy to become overwhelmed by the world-of-weddings. I’m slowly becoming more set on my ideas and therefore getting less stressed about it. I’m sure that as the wedding gets closer, my stress levels will rise again, but for more “valid” reasons!
I’d suggest you sit down with your OH and discuss what you both think are your key priorities. Once you’ve done this, you can start tuning-out of the unnecessary stuff. It does get better 🙂
Post # 16
@NJmeetsBX: I feel ya on this one. I was so excited to start planning, and once I found out how much “everything I’ve always wanted” was going to cost me I went into shell-shock. I got very burnt out within the first two months.
SO, I took a break. Stepped back and just let it slide for about a month or two. I had all the big things taken care of and my brain needed a breather.
I hope this gets better for you. And if you have the time, take a break. Keep telling yourself this is supposed to be fun, and it’s about you and your FI. Whatever you choose to do will be special.