Post # 1
Ive known my fiance for 7 yrs and we just got engaged 3 months agao. We dont live together but have been fighting like crazy. I feel likes its all my fault and all he does is blame me and say he knows what hes all about like hes all that. It really hurts me and I have no idea what to do. He says I treat him like a door mat and walk all over him. We just started fighting bad these last 2 weeks. Ive been really stressed and I think im pregnant but not for sure. kinda scared to take a test with how him and i have been argueing. he says he wants to stay away for awhile and we need time to think. I admit there have been times i have been very mean towards him just with words. i know words hurt but he also is the same way. Also he said i treated my ex better than him. he says i dont love hiim and care about him. I have no idea what to do i need some advice. can someone please help me.
Post # 3
First off, whether or not you two are fighting is not going to make a hypothetical baby go away. Get a pregnancy test.
Second of all, most of this sounds like miscommunication. Both of you are being very mean and vengeful towards one another: This is not healthy. You both may need to visit a mediator and learn how to communicate and say what you feel without resorting to using words as weapons and to figure out what you expect each other to act.
Post # 4
Why do you think you’re fighting so much more now? Is it because of wedding stress? I think it can be hard for even the strongest couples – all the sudden it feels like the whole family is involved in the relationship. I would think about how your fights generally start in order to sort out the root of your problems.
Post # 5
@JaMice21: what is triggering your fights? what is causing both of you guys to say mean words to each other? unless you understand what is causing them, you won’t be able to fix the root problem
Post # 6
@melonseeds: FI and I fought quite a bit about a month after getting engaged and I think we were just trying to do too much too fast and with all the family getting involved and asking a million questions…it got to us. We talked it out and we are in such a great place and have been for a while. Take a step back, take a breather, and calm down….then talk to him without all the stress and tension. And if you feel yourself getting ramped up, tell him you need to stop and take a few minutes to breathe and then come back to it at a later time.
Post # 7
its just all the family getting involved then he has anger issues and trust issues (from past relationsips). its so hard to be engaged not knowing if he dont fully trust me. ive tried talking to somone and he thought it would be stupid to do couples therapy but i think we could benefit from it but there is no easy way around it with him. We use to never fight that much and now i see it happening more so then often and it could be just something little and turn into something big.
Post # 8
We’ve also been together for 7 years, and now engaged and not sure. Why are you fighting? Any particular reasons or just little issues? For me despite being together for such a long time the sudden thought of “this can be my future husband” really upped things quite a bit and made me think about everything. Try waiting a couple of months when things settle a bit. I would also try therapy – I’m going to do it to sort my relationship out…
Post # 9
that sounds really good like therapy just needing him to do it as well with me.
Post # 10
@JaMice21: how old are you? He?
Post # 11
Two things that really stood out to me… if he is having trust issues from his past relationships still, then you might want to consider whether he is ready to be in any relationship. Also, being newly engaged is when you realize there are all kinds of changes, commitment, and new levels of dependency on eachother. There are all kinds of unspoken expectations, which can turn a relationship into chaos. I highly HIGHLY suggest seeking out church pre-marital counseling…. they can turn even the most doomed relationship into something great.
Get a pregnancy test. No amount of waiting is going to change what’s happening in there.
Post # 12
i am 20 and he is 31 and i did get a test and i am not and i have talked to him so much about the trust issues and we are looking into counseling.