Post # 1
I am engaged to be married. My fiance and I have been together for 2 years and I am so in love with him. I know we are perfect for each other. Unfortunately we live half way across the country from each other and only see each other about once a month.
I have recently found myself thinking about one of my co-workers more often. We hang out in a big group of friends so we all spend a lot of time together. I’m wondering if I’m crushing on him just because I’m lonely and don’t get to see my fiance that often or if it’s something more. I’m not sure what to think…
Post # 3
Crushes are crushes. Everybody gets them. Being in love won’t make ’em go away, being engaged won’t make ’em go away, being married won’t make ’em go away. The difference is, now that you’re engaged, you can pretty much write off that anything will come of it. Crushes are kind of funny, actually, once you know that you’re with your partner for life.
I would just let it ride. You said yourself that you’re with your perfect partner. The crush will fade with time – just remember that you’re a committed woman and you’ll be fine. No big deal!
Post # 4
@Grace_62: Distance yourself from your group of friends just a little, and this guy in particular a lot. If you need to spend time with members of that group individually for a little while, or say you’re not free if they’re all hanging out with him included, do it. Spend more time connecting with your Fiance. It may well be that, as you say, you are missing your Fiance, lonely. Seeing someone new and near is interesting, but not necessarily long lasting. Give your relationship the boost it needs, communicate your needs to your Fiance, and refocus your energy there before thinking about or exploring other avenues.
Post # 5
@Grace_62: Everyone gets harmless crushes, but in encouraging the crush you jeopardize losing your fiance, and it doesn’t sound like that is what you want to do. You do need to distance yourself from this guy.
Post # 6
@Kimy: I agree with you both 10000 percent…
I am in a long distance relationship and I went out for drinks with a girlfriend and a man came on to me and was very persistent. I politely declined because I have a habit of judging every man that is interested in me by my FI qualities and characteristics and they dont measure up.:)
Post # 7
@sarasouth: This, precisely.
Dude, I get crushes alllll the time. As long as you keep it in your head and don’t bring it into reality, don’t worry about it. Maybe even enjoy it a bit, again as long as it’s just on the inside, haha. Consider it meaningless. 😛
Post # 8
When it comes to Crushes and being in a “committed” relationship (be that Dating / Engaged / or Married) your best friend is DISTANCE
Spend little or no time as you possibly can with the other person
Spend time together, and I can guarantee you it could start an unfortunate fire.
And such fires tend to get out of control very quickly (particularly so if your SO is out of town / LDR) … and do tons of damage that you don’t necessarily recover from
Hope this helps,
Post # 9
Don’t worry to much about it, it’s only a little crush. It happens to the best of us!
As long as you don’t act on it there’s no harm in looking
Post # 10
Thanks everyone for the feedback. I think writing about this last night helped me think about it a little more rationally. I am, and will always be, completely committed to my fiancé. I am goin to distance myself from this guy a little, which means possibly skipping some weekly events that we all go to.
Post # 11
@Grace_62: as long as you don’t emotionally or physically react on it, you are fine. The moment you fall from him, that’s the moment you have to walk away 🙂
Post # 12
Been there… the best thing to ‘kill’ the crush is definately distance! Also, maybe find his flaws, and focus on them LOL.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
I am there now … a lot of the guys im crushing on wouldnt even get a look in if my Fiance was around.
Video calls do help. Its sounds strange but even though we talk every day theres times it can feel like hes not real or i forget little details. Its difficult