Weddingbee boards

FI and I have only FIVE days off together a month. That's just how our schedules work. I'm off 7 days a month, 5 are spent with him, 2 days....by myself or with him until he goes to work. This is how my schedule works I'll be off on a monday & Thursday one week. The 2nd week, I'm off on just Wednesday. The 3rd week, I'm off Thursday, Friday, Saturday, & Sunday. The fourth week, I work ALL week. Then repeat. His schedule goes like this. This week, he worked Monday & Tuesday. He was off on Wednesday & Thursday. He works tonight, tomorrow night, & Sunday night. Then next week, his schedule is the opposite of this week. Out of my days off, I get those 2 thursdays by myself. And days that I work, and he's off, he comes and visits me after I get off work

ANYWAYS. Here lately, for the past couple months. Well...since we got engaged in December ('08) it just seems like we've been edgy on our days off together. Now FI loves to joke & cut-up. I do too....but I can be irritable. It starts out fun, then he keeps on, and I get aggrivated & get mad. The past two months have been like this, were it ends ups we're crying and apologizing to each other.

Example: Back in March, on our weekend off together, we were painting a room in our home we bought (We don't live in it together yet; we don't even live together; not until October) When I do work, I want to "work now, play later". Yah, it's totally okay to joke every once and a while. It keeps you sane. Well, he wanted to joke around and act like he was going to paint my pants. I asked him to quit. 6 times I asked him to. I finally got mad and told him to move out of my way. I dropped my paint brush, and stormed out of the room, and walked out of the trailor. I was trying to avoid saying hurtful things by walking away. Thats what I do. And I know that that hurt him. He finally came outside and brought me back in the house. We sat there in the kitchen floor and I cried, apologizing for being a b****. He said that I wasn't, and he was sorry for being aggrivating.

It just seems like we get like that more, now. I don't know if it's the stress of getting our home fixed up and together, and planning a wedding, and dealing with the stresses of life, and just being away from each other. But I end up feeling bad afterwards. We ALWAYS apologize to each other. We're very open & honest to one another. We never fight, because we always talk our disagrements out. We work well like that. We honestly don't feel as if this will continue after October.

Did any of you OR are any of you going through something like this.

(Sorry if I used bad grammer; I just needed to get this off my chest)

And as far as my temper & his aggrivating ways go...it balances us out. "Dealing" with he overly playfulness, I've learned to hold my temper a lot better than it used to be. And him dealing with my sudden temper helped calm him down. (Before we started dating, he was...an a**. He respected women, but still teased me, BAD. I fussed at him and told him that he was going to be grow up and be lonely for the rest of his life if he didn't quit. He said that he went home and thought about what I said for a long time. I noticed the change in him. And no one that I worked with ever suspected that we would start dating, let alone be getting married.

He tells everyone that I settled him down. And he tells me that he's glad that I am the way I am, because if I wasn't, he would still be a butt.

I love his sense of humor. He's so goofy. And we did have fun when painting, but it was almost when I was ready to get serious, he wasn't completely done yet.

Used to, on our days off, we'd always go out. Everytime. Right now, it's like we don't have time because we're trying to get things done, or we're out of money (bill time of the month) We spend our time at his house watching movies, and cooking supper for each other. Last weekend was our weekend off together. All day Friday & Saturday, he worked on his blazer in my driveway. We didn't get to have no "us" time. And he didn't do it on purpose to avoid me, the blazer actually tore up. I was with him when he did it! (He was being a guy, trying to impress me by screeching tires...and tore the rear end out of the blazer...I laughed. LOL)

That Sunday, he had church. After he got out of church, I went to a cook out that his aunt and uncle had. Afterwards, we went back to his house, and took a nap together. We woke up and he had to go to his night church service. I didn't go. But before he left, we got to talking about not going out no more. We made the last minute decision to go out after he got out of church. And we had so much fun. It really helped relieve stress. We laughed so much.

But it's like sometimes, I want to ring his neck. lol. And he's a sensitive guy, I'm a sensitive girl, and sometimes I'm afraid that my temper will drive him away. I even sat down and cried one day because i was mad at myself for getting mad at him & me being childish about it. He hugged me and asked what was wrong. I told him that I was afraid that it would make him take the ring back & leave. I was scared of that because I had given so much into our relationship. He got teary-eyed, hugged me and told me that he would never do that, and that when he bought the ring, he knew that he wanted to marry me, temper and all.

I'm such a people pleaser, that I feel like I need to keep everyone happy. And when I get aggrivated at them, I go into depression and feel like I let them down.  Dang hormones and inherited genes! lol

And as far as the "going out" goes....I don't care if we don't go out all the time. I just enjoy going out, at least once every month or two, instead of being cooped up in a house. And I don't necessarily mean going out to a movie and dinner. I like visiting people. I love when we visit his aunt and uncle. Their house is 200 yards from his, but I like when we walk to their house. It's gets us out of a small, cluttered trailor. lol

I've talked to him. He thinks it's just the stress of trying to get everything together. I mean, in exactly 5 months (today) we'll be getting married. I'm really going to try to take a chill pill. lol. I'm good at over looking him, just sometimes I snap. Especially that time of the month. lol.

Thanks girls. I'm really glad to know that we're not the only couple that go through this. :) :)

You've already got some great feedback, but I wanted to chime in. I've been reading about the stress that pre-engagement and engagement can bring on the relationship. Can't find any of the good articles now to share, but it's safe to say none of us are alone in this.

I've been extremely stressed at work, and it's been building and building in the past month. It makes me irritable and short with FH, and that's not fair to him. Combine this with the stress of illnesses in both our families, along with the waiting to be officially engaged.. and yeah, not pretty. I left his place last night and had a massive panic attack right after I got home. I called FH and we talked for a bit - I told him "I love you so much and this should be a happy time, but I'm so miserable. I need to figure out how to fix this." And we talked about a plan - I need to talk with my boss and maybe give up some of the extra responsibilities I've taken on. Not great, but in the long run better for me.

I think, as long as you're still talking and trying to work through the stress and fights, that's a good thing. Things aren't great right now, but I feel better knowing FH is besides me and helping me work through the stress.