Post # 1
On getting #engaged
Two girls on my facebook posted this article today. Now I would like to mention that neither of them are engaged/married, but both are in relationships. One that posted this actually really bothered me because she constantly posts links to engagement ring websites on her facebook, and today is posting an article about how “it’s not about the ring”. I understand the point of this article, but I guess it annoyed me because of WHO linked/posted it. I don’t think it is fair to blame an engaged girl who put up a picture of her ring on social media for the culture that this article is criticizing. I can’t even count how many times both married and unmarried girls have said “OH MY GOD SHOW ME THE RING!” or “HOW DID HE PROPOSE?!”… I can understand what the article is saying but I don’t agree with where the blame is being placed… Anyone else feel that way? Thoughts , opinions… share!
Post # 3
@Jessicachantal: people flip out about this for some reason.
I posted 1 picture of my ring when I got engaged because like you says people ask 1,000 times to see it.
while it’s NOT about the ring it’s still an exciting aspect of an engagement.
Post # 4
@Laurenskii: +1 Countless friends and family members asked me to post the ring when we announced our engagement on FB. When I obliged, I had over 100 likes in under and hour and then some more. People want to see the ring.
@Jessicachantal: She may be having mixed emotions about getting/ not getting engaged.
Post # 5
I found the writer really obnoxious. Just because you’re excited about the proposal and the ring doesn’t mean you aren’t -ALSO- fully committed to the marriage. She seems very self righteous, particularly for someone who hasn’t gotten engaged (or married) yet.
Post # 6
@Laurenskii: exactly, i got asked sooo many times to post a pic of the ring! and damn rights im proud of the ring my honey picked! no shame in that! and i would have said HELL YES without a ring! And he proposed to me on a regular monday out of the blue laying in bed…and i wouldnt have it any other way. No its not about the proposal or the ring, but being excited about either of those aspects doesnt mean im missing the point of it all… what a horrible assumption for this writer to make.
@FLBlonde93: i think both the writer and the girl posting it are indeed having some emotional issues with not being engaged yet !
@Susanlee178: i too found her very self righteous, for someone with no experience on what it is like to be newly engaged. im glad some see it the same way, as I sometimes tend to be a sensitive person i truly wondered if others found this a tad ridiculous of her to assume. Yup, i do have a photo of my ring on instagram. Does that mean I’m materialistic, no… it means i am EXCITED and showing everyone what my fiance gave to me as a symbol of our new committment , that is exactly what an engagement ring is. even if he gave me 5 dollar candy ring I’d post that picture too!
Post # 7
I never posted pictures of my rings nor have I taken any of those weird pictures of me with my hand on his chest.
But thats just me, the majority of friends and family seem to upload one picture, of the ring or hand on chest showing off the ring.
Then their are always those people who for some reason needs to have five or six photos of thier rings in flowers and different scenarious and it’s like no freaking cares. I take it like any other annoying thing on fb ignore it,
The only time people ask me to see it is in person.
Post # 8
Lol a friend today posted a link to thison FB; she just got engaged and has been posting daily about the wedding…I felt like putting “IRONIC” in the comments on her page but I didn’t. Out of all the people I know, she’s the one constantly instagramming/posting etc about the materialistic things. I remember in the weeks before her engagement how many not-so-subtle hints she was making about engagement, ring, weddings etc. So to say she “agreed” with the article was somewhat ironic. There’s nothing wrong with posting pics of the ring; as PPs have said, people want to see it. But pretending you are “above” that when doing exactly that constantly… tsssk!
Post # 9
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@Jessicachantal: This article seems REALLY judge-y from the Tiffany rings to the JCrew wearing boyfriends it kind of takes away from the point.
And of course the most annoying girl on your Facebook would post this after posting a ton of rings! LOL, that always seems to happen on FB!
Post # 10
It’s my facebook and I can post what I want to… Post when I want to, Post what I want to… You would Post too if he proposed to you.. (tatatatata,,,)
🙂 My song says it all…
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2013 - Tybee Island, GA
my thing is that the ring symbolizes the engagement and marriage…
why not be proud to boast about your ring; that your fiance worked hard to pick out.
“My parents have been happily married for 30 years. But it wasn’t until watching an episode of Say Yes To The Dress with my mother last year when I realized I had not the slightest idea how my parents got engaged. A hidden photographer didn’t secretly capture my father when he got down on one knee. Good Morning America didn’t feature an elaborate song and dance proposal on their show, and there are no pictures of my mom’s basic-yet-beautiful engagement ring making their way across my social platforms”
ummm… that’s probably because most people 30 years ago, got engaged by the man in the seat of a pickup truck going down the road… 30 years ago people “courted” in which engagement was more of an agreement, rather than the guy think of some fancy way of proposing (working hard, and thinking of some way to surprise his woman, to show that he wants to be with her forever) Yea, 30 years ago divorce was still an option. And many people did get divorced!!! People post pictures all the time of girls getting flowers from bf for no reason, or maybe their bf cooked dinner for them… or even maybe their boyfriend proposed and your so freakin excited, you want to share it with the world… or maybe you dont. it is what it is… This day in age, things are different..we have same sex marriage, interatial marriage, babies before marriage, abortions… we have society thinking its okay for Miley Cyrus to act the way she does…Why? because it’s people’s decisions.Things have changed.Yeah, the writer kind of aggitated me… I love my fiance and i loved the way he proposed, it was very MEMORABLE… but even if he threw a ring at me and said here… i would still love him the same… everybody has their way and time is different now than 30 years ago…
Post # 12
It doesn’t bother me when girls post ring pictures on Facebook. I did not (I did change my status, but no one asked about the ring). I do agree with the overall message of the article but I also don’t think just because you are excited about the ring/an elaborate proposal doesn’t mean you think the actual marriage is unimportant. Some girls I’m friends with on facebook also “like” advertisements of engagement rings (especially Veraggio ones…idk why. And its multiple girls who aren’t mutual friends). But anyway, they aren’t even in relationships at all, and I try not to judge but I find it so awkward. Isn’t that a huge red flag for guys that might be interested in them?
Post # 13
I think the author is talking about the girls who have a set plan in their life (gf/bf, engagement, wedding, house, baby) and are so blind to everything that don’t realize that it’s the experience that matters. Every stage of one’s life should be celebrated, not just being engaged to be married – which means just that.
It doesn’t mean that being obsessed about your ring/engagement = you’re not devoted to your partner. That’s not the main point of the article, at least I didn’t read it that way.
As to who did what in terms of why people are obsessed over why the media is obsessed with wedding stuff – that’s another chicken/egg question that just cannot be answered with one simple response.
TL;DR: I get what the author means & I agree with her for the most part. It’s just one of the many ridiculous aspects of our current/possibly future generations. Many (way too many) women around my age remind me of horses with blinders.
Post # 14
I’m in the minority here, but I actually agree with this article.
I think she’s right – far, far too many people focus in on the engagement and the wedding, and not nearly enough on the marriage. I didn’t think she came off as self-righteous; I could definitely relate to what she was saying based on my own experiences with friends and colleagues.
I personally didn’t put a picture of my ring on facebook because it’s just not my way (don’t get me wrong I LOVE my ring.. but it’s not something I felt like sharing with the world). I also didn’t post my whole e-session, I don’t put status updates regarding the wedding or anything of the like. That’s just how I am.. I tend to be a private person.
I think it’s all a spectrum, with some people leaning too far to one side or the other. It is a big deal and it’s something you want to share with family and friends, but if you focus more on showing off than on the actual marriage you might be in trouble. I think the article displays valid opinion worth at least considering. I think many women do fall into this trap.
Post # 16
I agree with you both! And it’s always the single girls that do the bashing. I can’t even tell you how many “Everyone I know is getting engaged or married or having babies and here I am just trying to get some abs” ecards floating around on fb lately from the perpetually single girls. Go figure.