Post # 1
I’ve posted a few times here, and as a newbie, I am curious of your thoughts…I know for a fact my SO is saving for a ring…in fact, I think it could be sooner than I think 🙂 very excited! I love him, he’s an amazing man and after 7 years of dating, I am soo happy to think of my future!
However, as a full time Nurse Practitioner student, I moved home to save money…and plan to be home for at least another year, as I have loans etc that have crazy interest rates. I work almost every weekend on my days off, and am trying hard to save it while paying my bills. I know for a fact my SO has been saving big time for the ring so I would never ask/expect him to pay my portion of the rent just so we could live together ( we are only 15-20 min from each other).
But my real question is: Would it be odd or weird if we were engaged before we moved in together? I know its more common now to live together first, and we totally would if I could contribute a little more…but we both want to get engaged now ( tons of reasons why, which may be another post haha), and don’t feel the total need to live together first in order to get engaged.. but I am just curious what the consensus here may be…
Thanks in advance! I appreciate your time very much!
Post # 4
Hey, whatever floats your boat. I got a lot of flack from some friends and family for moving in with my then boyfriend who I had only been dating two and a half months, and moving 1,200 miles across the country for him.
It was what worked for us, and if this works for you, go for it.
Post # 5
We didn’t live together until we got married. I think you just need to do whatever works for you.
Post # 6
We did it, and it was fine! I really think that if you’re in love and you are very open and honest, then you don’t need to live together necessarily, and actually, there are advantages to not doing so as well. We had a LOT of problems when we moved in together, but I think it’s because we were already engaged so every last thing, I was thinking… how am I gonna live with this forever?!?!? But that’s ok. We were committed and we HAD to work it out, so we did!
I think for wedding planning it’s pretty nice to live together though, since then I can give him lists of things to do and oversee his progress. Before we lived together, I did all of the work on the wedding, but now it’s a little more from his side (so like 5% maybe!).
Post # 7
We didn’t live together until we got engaged.
Post # 8
We were engaged before we moved in together; almost a whole year!
Post # 9
It’s not weird at all! I know plenty of people that did not live together until they got married. They seem to be doing fine.
I totally understand bills/loans…good luck with your studies!!!
Post # 10
Your concern is so modern 🙂 I guess I’m truly old school, we’re not living together until we’re married. I would never move in with someone unless we were at least engaged. But couples do what works for them…if you both want to get engaged and you’re ready, go for it! Can’t wait to read the announcement thread!
Post # 11
Not at all. I’m engaged and have never lived with my fiance.
If you want to make it work it will. Just because it is now the norm to live with your SO first doesn’t mean you have to… Do what is best for you!
Post # 12
I’m engaged and dont live with my FI.
Post # 13
@dfutureNP: I don’t think its weird however you deff want to live together before setting wedding plans in stone. There are a lot of differences between just being bf/gf to living together bf/gf and you don’t want to drag your wedding plans through the mud because of stupid living problems. I know it sounds silly but stupid things like the toilet seat being left up and him not taking the trash out might drive you to crazyville.
Post # 14
@dfutureNP: I would NOT live with FI until we were engaged. It was a risk I was not willing to take. I needed that extra commitment before all the expenses associated with moving and renting/buying. So no it’s not weird. 🙂 You do what’s best for you and him.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I wouldn’t if you’d only been dating for 1-3 years, but I feel like after 7 years, you probably know each other and your living patterns well enough that it’ll be fine. Just be prepared for some intitial conflict and negotiation as you learn to cohabit….
Post # 16
We got engaged one year and one month before moving in together (neither of us had left our parents’ home before).
Its worked well with us; of course there are things that you find out that you didn’t know about each other before living together, but we’ve enjoyed it all so far.