Engaged BEFORE living together…thoughts??

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It’s not weird, no.

Post # 4
Member
8702 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hey, whatever floats your boat. I got a lot of flack from some friends and family for moving in with my then boyfriend who I had only been dating two and a half months, and moving 1,200 miles across the country for him.

It was what worked for us, and if this works for you, go for it.

Post # 5
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

We didn’t live together until we got married. I think you just need to do whatever works for you.

Post # 6
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We did it, and it was fine!  I really think that if you’re in love and you are very open and honest, then you don’t need to live together necessarily, and actually, there are advantages to not doing so as well.  We had a LOT of problems when we moved in together, but I think it’s because we were already engaged so every last thing, I was thinking… how am I gonna live with this forever?!?!?  But that’s ok.  We were committed and we HAD to work it out, so we did! 

I think for wedding planning it’s pretty nice to live together though, since then I can give him lists of things to do and oversee his progress.  Before we lived together, I did all of the work on the wedding, but now it’s a little more from his side (so like 5% maybe!).

Post # 7
Member
6000 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

We didn’t live together until we got engaged.

Post # 8
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We were engaged before we moved in together; almost a whole year! 

Post # 9
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s not weird at all!  I know plenty of people that did not live together until they got married.  They seem to be doing fine.

I totally understand bills/loans…good luck with your studies!!! 

Post # 10
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

Your concern is so modern 🙂 I guess I’m truly old school, we’re not living together until we’re married. I would never move in with someone unless we were at least engaged. But couples do what works for them…if you both want to get engaged and you’re ready, go for it! Can’t wait to read the announcement thread!

 

Post # 11
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not at all. I’m engaged and have never lived with my fiance. 

If you want to make it work it will. Just because it is now the norm to live with your SO first doesn’t mean you have to… Do what is best for you! 

Post # 12
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m engaged and dont live with my FI.

Post # 13
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@dfutureNP:  I don’t think its weird however you deff want to live together before setting wedding plans in stone. There are a lot of differences between just being bf/gf to living together bf/gf and you don’t want to drag your wedding plans through the mud because of stupid living problems. I know it sounds silly but stupid things like the toilet seat being left up and him not taking the trash out might drive you to crazyville.

Post # 14
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@dfutureNP:  I would NOT live with FI until we were engaged.  It was a risk I was not willing to take.  I needed that extra commitment before all the expenses associated with moving and renting/buying.  So no it’s not weird.  🙂  You do what’s best for you and him. 

Post # 15
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I wouldn’t if you’d only been dating for 1-3 years, but I feel like after 7 years, you probably know each other and your living patterns well enough that it’ll be fine.  Just be prepared for some intitial conflict and negotiation as you learn to cohabit….

Post # 16
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We got engaged one year and one month before moving in together (neither of us had left our parents’ home before). 

Its worked well with us; of course there are things that you find out that you didn’t know about each other before living together, but we’ve enjoyed it all so far. 

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