Post # 1
We have our engaged couples conference (pre-cana) tomorrow…any of you been to one? It is just a 5 hour long one, from 1-6pm, and I’m not sure what to expect. Husband to be and I live together already (I don’t think they exactly realize that, even though I put our addresses as the same on our registration form). The HTB to be is agnostic (doesn’t believe in anything) and I was raised strictly catholic (very frowned upon that we moved intogether before marriage by the family, but oh well, its what I wanted and I’m happy!) My parents are still members of the church I had my baptism, first Holy Communion, etc… and that is the priest who will be marrying us. We live out of town, so we do not attend this church. The priest already told me that he has no problem with HTB being agnostic as long as we agree to raise children Catholic. We haven’t had this “FACET” test yet, priest told me to call him after we take the engaged couples conference…but from what I’ve read most people have taken that test before the conference….
Just wanted to hear what anyone else’s experience was like!
Post # 3
My FI and I are going through all of this as well, I am simply christian- nondenominational and he is strictly ctholic…. it doesn’t matter which order you take the test, attend pre- cana it just all has to be done before your second meeting with your priest. It was definitely something for couple who hadnt lived together and would be “starting” their lives once they were married.. my FI and I have lived together for 3 years and also just recently bought a house… the only part i thoroughly enjoyed was the NFP portion and one other speaker who i coul dhave listened to for house, but all the rest talks about is alot of financial issues, personality clashing when first moving intogether and then also how to buy your first house…. but its one of those conferences where you take out of if what you want!
Post # 4
My FI and I just had our Pre-Cana this past weekend and we had a great experience. It gave us time to be introspective and we both learned things about ourselves as well as each other. It is my understanding that the format of each class is dependent upon the parish in which you are taking the class but for us it was a pretty straight-forward day. There were tables set up with three engaged couples and one married couple at each. They had married couples do a speech on different topics (ie. combining finances, communication, conflict management, etc), then there was couple discussion time (sometimes prompted by workbook activities) followed by table discussions where we chose questions out of an envelope related to the topic and discussed as a group at the table.
My FI and I were very lucky as we had a great group of couples at our table who were very down to earth and friendly. We didn’t feel pressured to share or divulge anything that weren’t comfortable with. Overall, it was a pretty good day!
Oh.. and we live together too, talked about living together during various discussions and no one said anything about it. I wouldn’t worry about it!
Post # 5
My FI and I are both Catholic, we attended our engagement seminar last week and loved it. In NH it is done by the diocese and broken down by region there were about 25 couples and it lasted all day. The first few hours were spent on communication presented by a couple who had been married about 20 years. Many of the topic “family of origin” etc were things we had discussed as I am a graduate student in child development and we had talked about these things previously as I thought they were important. We used workshop activities to facilitate discussion between the two of us (never had to share outside the two of us). Then there was a session on conflict management that each table had to pick a question to puzzle over ( we had what to do with aging parents, but where to go for the holidays was extremely popular). Then they provided lunch and a couple married for just over a year discussed personal and family values, we did a cool activity where we had to stand back to back (thereby getting no nonverbal feedback) to discuss with each other without interruptions are important values. Lastly we discussed financial stuff we had a couple who had been married 50 years, who are debt free. They provided a lot of practical advice. Finally we had an hour long ballroom dancing lesson, stressing the importance of intimacy and trust. It was awesome! We both absolutely loved it, we do also live together and had completed the Focus Survey. But we haven’t met with the pastoral advocate to ind out our results. Honestly we really enjoyed the whole thing, even though we had discussed a lot of the stuff before hand. I feel like just one week prior our communication has improved. That despite all out earlier talking I really understand my FI better and some of the little things that had been driving me for nuts I understand more and therefore aggregate me less. I recommend going to an engagement seminar even if you aren’t catholic!!!! The only thing not discussed and I was very surprised) was family planning – not using contraceptives, but apparently our speaker couldn’t make it. So we were given some physical resources.