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IMO (and apparently in my social circle), facebook relationships lost their meaning (let's just forget fb friendships are rarely real friendships at all LOL).
Background: A couple of friends have their relationship status as engaged just cause they’ve dater for over 4 years (no wedding date or immediate intention of getting married) and other friend has his status as married cause he lives with his GF.
Now that I’m engaged I’m a bit reluctant about the facebook status cause right now it feels like a joke. Is it just me?
What are your thoughts about this? Did anyone change their status as a joke before getting engaged? Do you have your relationship in facebook? Did you change your fb status when you got engaged?
I know what you mean. It bugs me when people are "married", when they really aren't. haha. When I got engaged I changed it, because I like to keep my profile updated, but it kind of wierded me out. Like I was bragging, or had to keep up to all the other people, so I deactivated my profile for a while until I wasnt so wierded out about it anymore.
When Fi and I got engaged I changed mine but I didnt have a wedding date or any planning in our heads for a LONG time...
But IMHO :Just because someone gets engaged doesnt mean they have to start planning the wedding right away...
@Coffee cup: I have seen this before also.
I was already engaged when I got facebook so I just made it to engaged as soon as I made it then changed it to married when we got home from our wedding!
@Coffee cup: It annoys me when people are 'faux married' on facebook (or engaged) and Mr.ND and I never did the joke engagement. After he proposed, we spent the night letting our friends and family that weren't at the proposal know, and then we each updated our facebook status in the morning. Everyone knew that it was for real and there was a flood of congratulations and comments.
We put a 2 week "enjoyment lock" on ourselves, no planning for 2 weeks of being engaged. Once you start, it's hard to stop! Hahah.
@MsPanda: Yea, we def didn't start planning right away either!
But I think Cash000's point is people doing it for the heck of it? My sister is engaged & married a few times a year! LOL (She is 16, btw.)
I know what you mean too! I deactivated my facebook account about a year ago for personal reasons, but my FI is still on facebook. We got engaged on Saturday, but I told him he doesn't have to change his status to "engaged" if he doesn't want to, because I don't want a barage of text messages from former friends who are still on his facebook friends list. Ya know? So I'm sure he'll change it eventually, but I'm really not concerned about it.
@MsPanda: Oh no I don't mean people who are actually engaged, I mean people who say yeah we will probably get engaged in like 5 years and we're not even sure we want to be with each other for life but it's cute to say we're engaged in FB.. True story.
I never had mine as "married" or "in a relationship" as a joke. I changed mine to engaged a couple of days after, I wanted to tell some people before I just went ahead and announced it on FB. I do notice though, that some younger people I know put married or engaged to people they're dating. It's kinda weird.
Oh I have this lady on mine who was "married" to her SO since she has been on my FB ( I knew she wasn't married), and then a few months ago, got "engaged". Ummmmm.........
Yes, on April Fool's Day my fiance (boyfriend at the time) changed our FB relationship status to engaged as a joke but changed it back the next day. In past relationships I've had my FB relationship status as engaged if it's been a while just for fun.
When my fiance and I got engaged we changed our FB status to engaged. It backfired when his sisters had to find out about our engagement via FB due to him serving overseas in the military he had only shared the news with his dad. Just make sure everyone knows you're engaged before the FB statuses hurt someone's feelings. Needless to say we no longer are apart of FB because it causes drama for us LOL.
@Mrs.Estep: My sister's "married" to this guy she's not even dating, at one point my dad told her to stop being such a drama queen with all those false relationships.
My cousin changed her status to engaged a few years ago cause in spanish engaged is like promise, and she said it was because she promised the guy to marry him someday.
@Coffee cup: Oh i get it I thought you were knocking someone who were engaged but not planning I was thinking to myself oh my me and fi got engaged in 2007... lol
I have 2 friends who say they are married (well they did until one of them got in a relationship) It is kinda a inside joke in our group so I understood it...
No offence to anyone who does it but yes, I have friends that changed their status to "married" when they weren't and got all kinds of what omg really? attention. whatever floats their boat. i posted a pic of my ring when FI proposed but only AFTER I had spoken to all my friends and fam first. so it was like a couple days later. I did change my status on fb too. FI was very adimant about me being "engaged" and not just " in a relationship" lol! Something about " oh yeah I call her my wife but we're not really married but we've been together for 15 years" that grates me. Only because i would go insane being with someone for so long without the sacremant of marriage. but I know I am opinionated about it and I really dont think its WRONG, its just so not for me personally:)
My female roommate and I used to have our status as "it's complicated" as a joke. I'm not sure if this counts though, since we also clearly stated that we were both into men.
I did have mine as married as a joke to my best friend. But in my defense.. we put our relationship that way back in 2005 before everyone and their mom and their dog were allowed to have Facebook profiles. Back in the day when Facebook belonged to college students. DH always whined when we were engaged that he wanted to be engaged to me and I refused to change my status. So on our wedding day, my best friends's present to DH was to relinquesh her married status to me.
But I would never have put I was married or engaged to someone I was dating. That is weird and makes no sense.
@Lemma: That's another one that bugs me. the it's complicated thing.
I totally get your joke but when applied to a relationship, it feels like a way to tell everyone you're fighting with your SO.
On a different note, you can be common law married without having had a ceremony. Maybe that's what some of these people mean. My FI and I had to file our taxes last year as common law married because we had been living together for a year.
@Coffee cup: I agree that it's a weird option to have. I think that's why we thought it was funny... sort of a so depressing that it's funny type of thing.
I changed mine when we got engaged... it was a big thing for us actually lol
My brother is one of those people who claims to be married and it drives me nuts! He's 'married' to someone new each week.
Yes I understand common law, but Common law is not married. Just because two people have to do their taes together does not make them married!!!
@Cash000: I think you should be pretty careful about making a judgement like that. In many places, common law marriage provides the same benefits as "regular" marriage. I can think of at least two stable long-term couples who have children who would have been very offended to hear your statement.
I hate that. "Amy and I are the bestest friends in the whole world, we're going to be married on Facebook because it's funny! Tee-hee!" Though I must say the high schoolers who list their status as "divorced" are the ones that bug me the most.
Back when I had a facebook account, I was verrrry annoyed by these "engaged" and "married" couples who were not even remotely that. I had a friend who changed his status to "engaged" to some girl, and we ran into a high school teacher and the teacher actually thought it was for real and congratulated him! Haha. And then he had to explain that it was a joke. And the teacher looked at him like he was an idiot.
@Lemma: Well that's not the case with the people I have in facebook since there's no common law marriage here and I know there people are not married.
I mean they were "married" one day then broke up and changed their status to "single" (yes didn't hide it they changed it to make sure the other one could see it) and 2 days later got back together and were "married" again.. True story (saddly).
My fiance and I never jokingly got engaged on FB. We only changed our status after he proposed and we told our close friends/family. I do think it's annoying when people put engaged or married as a joke. I guess they just want some extra attention.
i would update it. i think people who know you would know that it is not your style to joke about stuff like that and would therefore take it seriously.
i feel like i know who to take seriously and who is just messing around so it doesn't bother me. FI's little sister changes her so much its ridiculous(she's a teenager). I don't usually place too much importance on facebook. I changed my relationship staus a couple weeks after I got engaged. It doesn't seem like it needs to be an issue, IMO
I'm not saying that a common law relationship isn't as valid as a marriage, what I am saying that one is not the other. Marriage is marriage, you get married. Not just stay together for a long time. Of course common law relationships are just as meaningful, but if it were the same then people would not wed. I just think if you want to be labelled as married, then get married, otherwise you should be proud to say " In a relationship."
It does not bother me at all what other people list as their statuses. I have no reason to get upset or irritated about it. Just like the way other people conduct their relationships or marriages have no bearing on my own.
I enjoyed listing us as officially engaged on FB. To me FB is a networking tool and a way to keep in touch generally (meaning I have no problem friending people I don't have active current relationships with), so I liked sharing the news with people, even those whom I don't consider close friends. And it was fun to get nearly 100 "Congratulations" comments, especially from people I haven't seen in forever. :-)
I was married to a house plant once.. that was back when I was young and stupid though ;)
when we got engaged, we didn't bother telling anyone besides my parents and his parents and just changed our facebook statuses. it took about a week to get around to everyone - even people that weren't on facebook.
I didn't know people did this "fake" relationship status. I changed mine to engaged and got a huge response of people genuinely happy for me, so I figure they all take the statuses seriously as well.
FI and I never did a fake "engaged" for our status update. We got engaged Christmas Day last year, and texted/called friends and family that day that we didn't see for the holiday. Then later that night, we changed our relationship status to reflect "engaged." This way, all of our family and close friends heard straight from us, while our not-as-close friends just found out online.
I don't think you need to put anything up, it doesn't make it any more real. SO was reluctant to put any sort of relationship status up (single or otherwise) and I was fine with that at all but in the end it was his suggestion.
@Angelz_love: Lots of my family members (aunts and uncles) never married. After a long time together, and multiple grown-up children, you just BECOME married and you can write your name as Mrs. Hislastname when you feel like it and you can wear a ring on your ring finger when you feel like it and you can call them your husband. Such is the case for my aunts.
We made sure we saw everyone in person that we could first, so due to that I didn't change my status until a month after the fact. At the time I was dying to change it, but I'm glad I waited because it felt a lot more personal. When I did change it, it wasn't a big deal because everyone had already known for a while.
a good friend of mine and i are both in similar waiting situations. so we married each other on facebook as a joke to our SO's . kind of like "well you two took too long so we married each other!" lol. we are obviously not married and everyone on my fb is a friend or family member and it got a lot of laughs given that the people who paid attention got the joke and what it was about. but i have had fb for years and i have never put up a relationship status that wasnt really the case. i was engaged once before and put that up, and when im in a relationship i just leave it like that. when i was single and thinking men sucked i would put its complicated and explain that that was currently the best way to describe my love life lol. I think though that it doesnt happen frequently for me and people are aware (except for this last one lol) of my relationship status in real life so no one really gives it a second thought. I am not one of those that changes it every other month.
i have been with my FI for almost 4 years- i had FB just before I met him....I never changed it to relationship and even tho we are engaged im still not changing it, there has been a time or 2 when ive had to tell someone i wasnt available but its never been that huge of a problem... I find it funny those that arent married have that as their status'
in my opinion.....your REAL friends know your status in life and theres no need to post it all over the web!
My sister changed hers to "in an open relationship" with a friend and our uncle (who is gay) commented "That's so wonderful!" and my mom called me asking me what the deal was. I almost commented "You're such an idiot lol" but didnt want to seem like I was gay bashing because a lot of people really do not know that these relationship statuses are just jokes. Especially older people.
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