Post # 1
So I’ve been engaged one week (yeah!). (This is my first post although I’ve been a viewer esp of the ring section where I got some ideas.) I love my ring, although I need to get it resized. I love my guy (of course), and despite the family drama (for another time), my parents are trying to be supportive. However I am completely stressed out and overwhelmed with trying to find a venue already. Fiance and I were thinking something super low key, wedding on the beach, rent a house or small venue for reception, bbq buffet dinner. Simple enough I thought.
So we were looking at Tybee Island, GA as we already visited there last year, but the one wedding chapel that is all over the internet is crazy expensive, expanding to add a ballroom and bumping up their prices in 2014 even more! We are thinking of doing something in May 2014 so I feel rushed to find something else and can’t find much else that looks really nice. And people seem to not want to rent their houses. I mean what if it rains, I have to have something semi decent to do indoors. I wanted this wedding to be simple, low key, but realize I have nice/nice can be expensive taste so a school caf doesn’t really cut it. My mom is also pushing for something in MA where I live and a number of my finance and my friends are. Though in reality we have family and friends all over. Also looked at NH, ME but those just aren’t the same kind of beach.
What happened to enjoying the engagement?? Should I be stressing so early? Do I just pick a venue so that I can take a break to enjoy the engagement and then worry about the other details. I’ve signed up for PinInterest (finally) and flowers, dress looking has come a lot easier. It’s just the venue and venue time frame that is killing me! Any suggestions on informal/US destination/stress dealing would be helpful. This process is overwhelming!
Post # 3
its early in the game… so here is my advice. you and your fiance sit down and talk it all out about exactly what YOU WANT. don’t talk to your mom. don’t ask you co-workers. dont talk to friends. talk to each other. figure out exactly what you want. and stick to it. because my best advice i can tell you is you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache if you keep most your plans/ideas between you two and stick to your vision. doesn’t really answer your question, but I guess I’m saying take a step back. don’t feel rushed. I’ve planned a beautiful wedding in 6 months, so don’t let May 2014 freak you out.
Post # 4
Does the wedding HAVE to be in May 2014 at Tybee Island? Honestly, you are stressing yourself. If you stay at this pace it will just get worse. I would probably look where you are from and/or take a break and enjoy my engagement for at least a month.
ETA: I started planning my September wedding around Halloween last year so it doesnt have to be stressful. I find that it (the planning) is what you make it out to be. You need to be on the same page as your FI, figure out a budget, and work from there.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - Sodo Park
Take a deep breath!
Okay. So this totally happened to me. Then Sparky told me “if planning the wedding isn’t fun, then we need to take a break until it is fun.” He was right! Even taking a week to just enjoy ourselves allowed me to dive back in with fresh energy.
Post # 6
my biggest stress with wedding planning was picking the venue! it sets the date, the setting, and gives you a goal and timeline. Go with your heart on the location! You’ll feel better once you get the venue. Being engaged is soooo fun/dreamy/amazing but the stress will also be there and won’t fully go away! As one expectations may not be met based on money, availability, etc. but everything will be okay in the end!
Post # 7
Thank you all for your thoughts! A agree @Chelwilly the venue sets the theme for everything! I think that is why I was/am stressing so much, and all those aps I downloaded had all these reminders of things I should have done already. But it’s true there are plenty of people who plan in less time, and him + me + whoever else we want is what really matters. I’d love awesome photos, a kick ass venue etc etc, but yeah, breath. So thank you @Miss Campfire your Sparky had some wise words!
Post # 8
I totally did the same thing. I’ve been engaged 2 months and 1 week 🙂
I stressed out and went minor bridezilla for a about a week 2 weeks after I got engaged. I have since calmed down (although I have my freak out moments). We don’t have a venue yet (although we’re looking a 2 more tomorrow). What relieved a lot of MY stress was sitting down with my FH and having an honest conversation about where. Once we decided that I felt a lot better. It’s what’s best for US. No matter where the wedding is it will be bad for about half our guests – like you’re they’re all over. Decide what YOU want and go from there!
Post # 9
I know you want beach, but have you considered “lake beaches.” New England does have many lakes with beautiful beaches with small inns nearby that aren’t traditional wedding venues that can make for a more inexpensive affair.
Post # 10
I went through the same thing. I agree with the poster that said to stop talking to friends, family, etc and just take a deep breath, meditate on what YOU want and then sit down and have a chat with your fiance. Focus on what feels most right to you two and then you might feel less stressed (I realized that most of my stress was coming from trying to please others and not listening to my own instincts). Once you cut out all of the other noise, you’ll be able to focus better. If Tybee is really what you want – go for it! Savannah is another great destination wedding option – you could do an intimate wedding at one of the hotels overlooking the river or at one of the B&Bs down there…I think they are pretty reasonably priced.
Post # 11
Have you searched for vacation rentals on Tybee Island? You might have to hunt around to find one with the number of bedrooms you want or a big enough common space to move the wedding to if it rains, but I bet you could find something. This one looks like it has a nice big room that’s all windows:
Post # 12
I was a lot more stressed out in the beginning when I was trying to find a venue. Once I got that set up I found myself much more relaxed! Since I’ve had almost all of my vendors booked I haven’t had much wedding stress at all. If it makes you feel any better, I think it will get better once you find that venue!
Post # 13
I was the same way! But my FI refused to talk about any wedding plans for the first mo th (which drove me CRAZY because I’m a plan-o-holic) but it really made me sit back and truely enjoy being engaged before jumping into wedding mode. it also gave me time to really think about what I wanted.
my advice to you is as soon as you’re no longer enjoying being engaged, (and lets face it, you’re only a weeks in, so you should still be stuck in the perma-smile phase!) Step back and just cuddle up to your fella for a bit!
also, everyone will have opinions and you won’t be able to please everyone, so make sure you do what you guys want! That’s most important! (But the venue/location is the hardest part, the rest is fun)
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Enjoy this time!!
Post # 14
@jmLL: I am getting married in Anna Maria Island, FL. It’s really laid back and beautiful. I am not sure what your budget is, but they have a lot of places to work with!
Post # 15
I think part of the stress too is the FI say “whatever you want is good babe” and then it becomes “well, it has to be nicer if we are expecting people to travel so much”, or “how about…”. I definitly think we need ot talk a bit more so he spits it out and tells me what he wants. I just want to shake him and say “I know you a dude but obviously you care which is great, I’m glad, but please just tell me what matters to you!” I was 100% for eloping, and my parents wouldn’t care to much, but he wanted a wedding and for his parents to be there. It was kind of sweet if he would just man up and make some decisions too! 😉
@love108: we are also looking at New England beaches. They are some really nice ones! Still looking for a cheap nice one too.
@mrsgrant: Savannah sounds great too!
@kes18: I agree. I think once I have the venue, or venue and food it will then be fun. I’m excited for the crafty part.
@sah612: A large vacation home would be ideal! This is what we were origionally thinking as a back up to a beach ceremony and a reception idea. Unfortunaly with liability it seems people are really hesitant to rent out their homes. I’m not giving up hope quite yet though.
@Charliejeorge: thank you!
@swisea01: I’ll have to look into that!
Post # 16
[comment moderated for trolling]