Post # 1
So FI and I have been together for over 4 years and got engaged at the beginning of this year. I am 20 and he is 24, however we have agreed to not get married until at least one of us is finished with college and is working. I was initially planning on graduating next year, but changed my mind about what I would like to study. So I’m starting all over from square one and will most likely be graduating in 2015. My FI should be graduating anywhere from 2013-2014.
Now, when we had thought I would be graduating next year, we were planning on getting married next year. This would mean I would have been 22 and he would have been 25. Now I like the idea much more of me being about 23 or 24 and he would be 27 or 28 when we would be getting married because we will have been together for about 7 or 8 years and I would feel much more certain, and well older and more mature and really confident about our wedding. I feel as if it’s hard for young brides to be excited (or at least that has been my experience) because well, people think we’re too young. Now that we’re waiting, I’m a bit more relieved but I just feel so off balance by our super early engagement only to turn into a super long one… I just feel kind of depressed about the whole engagement thing. I wish we had waited until we were more mature and had finished college before getting engaged. Blah. Now I feel as if a lot of the excitement has been sucked out of our engagement and I’m pretty depressed about all of it. 🙁
Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
Post # 3
I am still in school, and so is FI. He is 20, and I am 21, but we both have jobs. We are still getting married before we finish school though.
Post # 4
I think it’s a really mature decision you both are making by getting your degrees first. Try and look at the positives of the long engagement. More time to plan, save money ect. I understand how a long engagement may loose some of the excitement aspect after awhile but just remember what being engaged means… You get to marry the love of your life! Once the time comes where you are in official wedding planning mode, throw yourselves a little “wedding kick off” party to get friends and family and everyone excited for your upcoming wedding again.
Post # 5
@mrs.stormylove: I agree that you are making a very mature decision to wait until you are both a bit older and are out of college to get married! It might not seem this way now necessarily, but chances are very good that in a few years you will look back and be glad you waited.
I can understand wishing you had waited to get engaged, but here you are so make the most of your longer engagement and enjoy it. When it comes time to actually plan, I am quite confident the excitement will still be there!
Post # 6
I second the others… very sensible to wait. When FI and I marry, we will also have been together for over 7 years. We met at 22 and 19 respectively. So… sort of similar.
Post # 7
I aplaud you both for wanting to finish school.
Girl, no need to rush….you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Follow your heart and if you aren’t “ready” then talk to your FI and you guys just hold off. If it’s meant to be, you both will be okay with waiting until you are “ready”.
Post # 8
@thenuggetbride: I am going through somewhat of a similar situation. What I have gathered from months of contemplating (we’ve been engaged for almost a year now) and advice from other older and more mature people, you should follow your gut feeling and talk to your FI about this. If he understands you and truly loves you he should understand! I have to sit down with my FI and explain to him that I still want to be with him I just do not want to be engaged right now- I want to finish school and become the true authentic “me” before I commit to such a long life with him. I understand that you still want to be with him, maybe just take a step back. Maybe re-do the whole engagement thing- date for awhile, finish your degrees then try it again! It’s your happiness and your relationship, do what feels right to you.