Engaged without a proposal?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My mom never did, my dad just gave her the ring and she assumed, haha, they’ve been married 25 years if that counts for anything

Post # 4
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I technically didn’t get much of a proposal. We had talked about getting married a month earlier and we talked about our expectations and concerns. We hadn’t spoken about marriage till this point and he said he wanted to marry me but he needed to talk to me to make sure I was on the same page. One month later, he handed me a ring box on Christmas Eve. He was so nervous he didn’t say a word. So I opened the box took out the ring and put it on myself. He never really asked, and I never said yes. I guess actions speak louder than words. We laugh about it now but honestly, I didn’t realize he didn’t ask until a few days later.

Post # 5
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

DH and I’s engagement was kinda random. He gave me a silver ring and earring set for our first xmas (we’d been together for 3 months and were 16/17) and I jokingly put the ring on my left ring finger. He just shrugged and said “ok.” instead of the freak out I had wanted. Oh well. I wore that ring on that finger for 8 years until I finally got a diamond one (no real proposal, just a here ya go).

I guess technically our engagement started when I got the diamond but by that point we’d been talking in terms of “us” for years and it was a given.

Post # 6
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I didn’t technically have a proposal in the common sense. We discussed marriage, picked out the ring, then I went to pick it up when it was done being sized because he was at work.

Post # 7
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We discussed, agreed and after a few days I finally told him to get on his knee and do it officially haha

Post # 8
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I didn’t get much of a proposal either.  We were having lunch and started talking about getting married.  This wasn’t unusual for us, we talked about it frequently and then all of a sudden it was like “I’m asking you to marry me.”  After lunch we went and picked out a ring and the rest is history.  Sometimes I feel sad that I didn’t have the big romantic proposal to share with the masses but this way just fit us.

Post # 9
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We just decided to get married, so I’m engaged without a proposal. However he’s ordered a ring and wants to do a “formal proposal” this holiday season. Which I’m also fine with. We’re keeping it on the downlow and planning till then, though it is the worst kept secret ever as every day we come home and are like “well, I had to tell so and so because…”

Post # 10
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I always tease DH that he never asked me to marry him, he told me lol. It was a command, not a question. “marry me.” and I said “ok”. It was actually more romantic than it sounds lol.

Post # 11
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

ME. We bought the ring together >.< because he wanted me to choose a beloved rock and style myself. I didn’t have a surprised proposal as well. But I do not care. I am very happy that I found a man who would spend the whole life together with me.

It really does not matter sweet girl.

Many of my friends -couples who bought their ering together, but they publicized what a surprised proposal the girl has. Don’t you think that is really false? ?

And another problem is – many girls do not like their ering with surprise proposal. That’s true.

There’s rarely people who proposed with right ering, right size, right timeing. The fact is if you wanna a satisfied and beloved and excellent ering, you’d better go with your man to buy it.

And the MOST important part is – he puts on the ring for you by his hand with touched promise 🙂

Now, do you feel better? ^^

Post # 12
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

@BrittanyE:   I feel this is much more common than you realize. Sometimes we expect things to be a certain way, and some guys just aren’t going to conform to that. I never got a proposal, I just sort of got tired of waiting and said we were getting married. I remember when we had a family reunion and I prodded him to tell his family. The eruption of joy was startling to me: OMG HE’S FINALLY GETTING MARRIED! and they asked for the date. So I said “bring out a calendar and we’ll pick one, with my new fiance mumbling “we don’t really have to do this now do we….” But I did, becuase I knew that he wasn’t going to pick a date, or get a venue, or make any sort of arrangement. A few months later we were at his sister’s house and she looked at my ring finger and said “I don’t like the look of that bare finger” and got her jewlery box and fished out a beautiful diamond solitaire that had belonged to their mother and handed it to my husband. He took the cue and put it on my finger. I cried. We didn’t have money for something frivolous like a ring so I figured it would be a while before I got one, if ever.


One night we were having dinner and I was feeling rather crabby and I challenged him about never asking me to marry him. I said I wasn’t going to marry him if he didn’t ask me properly. So, after i nagged at him for about an hour he got down on one knee and asked me. I then told him no because it wasn’t spontaneous. I also remember that he was in his underwear, or close to it.


That was 23 years ago 🙂


Post # 13
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I didn’t have a “real” proposal either. We came home from going out one night and I was fairly tipsy. We were in bed chatting and I said something about rings being a symbol and not all that important. He then told me that he loves me and wants to marry me. I said something along the lines of “there’s no question in there, but the answer is yes.” He had actually been talking to a jeweler at that point and had ordered a diamond on a temporary setting which I got 3 weeks later (he just handed me the box without saying anything), and then got the setting I chose another 3 weeks later (which we picked up from the jeweler together, and I just put on).


Post # 14
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

We decided to get married, picked a stone/setting. Then set a date.

I did get a proposal though we kept the engagement under the table until he got his chance. The reason he proposed is he wanted to give me that moment because I didnt have it before. However we had already put into motion joining our lives 3 months prior to announcing our engagement only our closest friends and family knew. It was the most peaceful wonderful time during our engagement.

Post # 15
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 1998

I’m new here, have been reading tons and tons of posts and love looking at the rings. But here’s my story!!


I, as well as my Mom, didn’t get a real proposal. My hubby and I were 19 when we got engaged. We had talked about it, I picked a ring, he picked it up. Came to my house and had it with him the whole time, I knew he did and he knew I knew. I had to drive him home so I could go to work and he said, here you go. That was it. 


My Mom got something similar. She and my Dad we watering the front lawn and he handed it to her and that was it. 


I would have loved a real proposal.  Especially when we talk to friends who did get a nice proposal. My brother took his fiancé to Disney world and proposed at dinner in the magic castle. And I get “Here you go”. Oh well. 

I did get an upgrade to my engagement ring and wedding band 2 years ago now. We have been married for 15 years this year. I was excited to get my new rings tho. At least I can say that. Hehehe

Post # 16
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I didn’t get a proposal. We both just went ring shopping and I picked it out.

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