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I'm not sure about "talking about engagement" but from the time we went ring shopping together and the proposal was six months.
He gave me a timeline and he stuck to it too. He said "by X month" and he proposed in the middle of X month. lol
J and I spoke about marriage briefly. We were dating for about 1 year and 3 months when he proposed. There was no timeline. No pressure. None of my mentioning it. He did it on his own when he wanted to. Only pressure he felt was from his family at one point because he used his great grandmother's ring. Other than that, I'm completely happy that we never even had to have a discussion about getting married and it was his idea.
We started talking really seriously and ring shopping sometime at the end of 2006 and actually got engaged in the beginning of 2008. There was no timeline. It just happened when it was time. :-)
Um... probably about a month? Maybe 6 weeks. Not very long at all. We had been dating about 3 years and no, we did not set a timeline.
We dated for 7.5 years and on our 7 year anniversary he proposed. We talked seriously for 2 years. But leave it to him and he will say 1 year. We have been engaged for 6 months and finally getting married next month.
Our "timeline" was pretty informal. It didn't really make sense to get engaged while he was still in school, so I knew it would be coming sometime after he graduated. We had talked about it for 1-2 years at that point.
He proposed after we had been dating a year (we're in our 30s if that matters).
I don't know what you mean by "talking about marriage seriously." We talked about marriage being important to both of us with in the first couple of months of dating. Over time our conversations about marriage and the future got more serious, but there wasn't a pivotal conversation (in my mind).
Neither one of us had a timeline to be engaged. I didn't ask a lot of specific questions because it was important to me to be surprised.
I consider myself to have been "waiting" for 2 years by the time he finally proposed. We were engaged not long after our 5 year anniversary and we started talking about marriage around the 3 year mark. The first time we went ring shopping was in March 2009 and we purchased my ring in May 2010.
I waited for about a year and a half. He brought marriage up to me a few months before our 4 year anniversary. I had been thinking about it my head, you know taking that next step, but I never brought it up to him before.
So I pressed him a bit, saying I felt the same way about our future and when he thought he would be ready. He said, within a year. He proposed a year and a half after that converstaion. It was really stressful, and I wasn't always the happiest bee. I felt like ever since that original chat I was sitting on pins and needles waiting for a proposal.
Apparently I took that "within a year" thing way more seriously than he did... So I voted that he broke his timeline, but I guess he didn't, since he never viewed it the same way I did.
Communication is key people!! :)
I chose other-
We started speaking about marriage in April of 2009
I didn't start waiting until December 2009
He didn't feel ready until November 2010
He proposed in February 2011
Technically I been waiting for over a year but my FI wasn't on board until this past November. So it took 14 months, but when he realized he was ready, it took him 3 months and that was because he didn't have thre money for a ring and was waiting for his incmoe tax return.
Oh and he would not give me a timeline- just incase if it fell through and he wanted me to be surprised. He thought a timeline would ruin it. I did give myself timelines though to ease the waiting.
The first time FI talked specifically about getting engaged was Halloween 2009. I told him I didn't want to get engaged until I had graduated, and I said I would let him know when I felt ready. I think it was June 2010 when I decided I was ready, and we started looking at rings. It took about a month before we found one, and then FI made me wait about a month once he had the ring. I think he did it just because he thought my impatience was funny :).
Since we seriously started considering marriage, it was about 6 months until he proposed. We didn't have any set timeline though. We did go ring shopping together and he proposed about a month later.
We're big-time planners... we became an "official dating couple" on VDay 2009. In 6 months, we moved in and began remodeling the house. We added a bathroom in summer '09. That went really well, so in fall'09 we started making plans to gut and remodel the kitchen and get engaged in 2010 and then get married in 2011 and then try for a baby. Everything has gone as planned so far, but with a few bumps along the way...
After our 1 year dating anniversary, VDay'10, we started talking more explicitly about getting engaged and started looking at rings in spring '10. We started the kitchen remodel in summer '10, which was also when we were to get engaged. At this point, things got a little hairy.... my FI did a lot of the construction work himself and he was just plain exhausted, so I had to learn how to be patient with him and figure out how to gently remind him of "the bigger picture" (us getting engaged)! We actually had a fight about mid summer (when the house was completely torn up and we were on the fritz from the remodel, but when we had "planned" to take a weekend to ourselves to go to the beach and get engaged).
We made up, though, and I decided it was better to not worry about planning time for ourselves and just let things unfold.... in a few weeks, he suprised me with a romantic dinner and a request to "spend forever with him"!!!! The next day we went to buy a ring together and in another week, when the ring arrived, he re-proposed to me on his knee in our new kitchen!! So, in July '10, we were engaged (just about on schedule)! We will be married July'11 (and the kitchen is finished and paid off, so now we're saving for the wedding and a baby :-)
I'm not sure what you mean by "talking about marriage seriously". For us, it was a continuum.
He proposed 2 years and 2 months after our first serious conversation about marriage. However, this conversation happened after 2 months of dating, so it was still entirely reasonable to me that we weren't engaged until much later. He did give me timelines (of his own offering) on a couple of occasions and he broke both of those, but I never asked for any sort of timeline so that wasn't a big deal.
@texasmeredith: @kaylee26: I meant "talking about marriage seriously" as he decided that he really wants to marry you and will propose and it's explained in the post as "I'm wondering how long it took your FI/DH to propose after you talked specifically about engagement and that your FI/DH was going to propose?"
Does that help? I suppose this question is more for people who talked about marriage before the proposal, not for FIs/wives who were surprised completely by a proposal and weren't talking marriage at all w/their SO.
We talked about marriage before we started dating. I knew it would happen after I graduate grad school. That's what is happening :)
I waited somewhere between eight and nine months, though I totally understand that it didn't happen for the first threen and a half months of that time, since I was still living halfway across the globe.
He made me think he was going to break our timeline. We originally said it would happen this year, but then he started telling me that because of money issues, it wouldn't happen until sometime in the first half of next year. It turns out that he only said that because he's a dirty liar and wanted to throw me off the scent of his day-after-Christmas proposal. :-P
Depends on what you are looking for exactly. We started dating in Jan. 2008 and he proposed to me in Jan. 2011. However, when we first started dating he stated to me at he wanted to propose to me...then we started talking about it in March/April of 08. He got cold feet and then we stopped talking about wedding and rings and I was bummed. So in Sept. 2010 when he asked me about rings I said let's go looking. So we did, then I told him I wanted to be engaged by the end of 2010 to end the year off on a good note. That didn't happen and he wanted to propose on New Years Eve or on Jan. 2nd at the Skins/Giants game. That didn't happen either. So the day after that's when he did 'cause he ran to the store to pick up the ring at that point.
Also not to threadjack my own thread... but timelines are NOT ultimatums. I just want to make that clear, there is a pretty big difference. A timeline is an idea of when to do something, similar to a guideline. It's very different from a deadline or an ultimatum which implies that things are over if it's not met.
My husband proposed after a month (maybe 3? I don't remember...) and I flat out said no (there was no discussion yet) The next time was 2 years later and lots of discussions. :D
We bought a condo together after 1.5 years together. We had discussed that we WOULD get married, and that I would like him to ask me within a year of living together, but it was over two years before he officially asked.
We established that we saw ourselves being together forever/heading toward marriage pretty early on in the relationship, like within 2-3 months. And we talked about when we would like to get married -- at the time it was supposed to be this coming summer, however, plans changed and we decided to bump it back to next summer. I had told him I needed at least a year to plan. Welp -- he gave me 19 months! Haha.
It actually ended up being about a year and a half after we'd started talking marriage. We were not a couple that ever had the, "let's get engaged by X date" talk, or even discussed rings/went shopping. That was all a big surprise! The proposal actually came way earlier than I thought it was going to. He was just too excited to get the ball rolling and didn't care if that meant we were gonna have a longer engagement.
Well, I could count it two different ways...
Over Christmas 2009 we had our first big serious marriage talk, at which point he told me he envisioned us getting married some day, but not until he finished his PhD and had a job and had asked my parents for permission. From that, I knew it wouldn't happen any time before the end of August 2010, when he graduated. He got a job the week he graduated, but didn't get to asking my parents until Thanksgiving. We got unofficially engaged on Christmas day 2010 (he needed to get his grandmas ring reset, so we kept it to telling just family) and then FINALLY we went public with the ring on my finger this past weekend...
So lets see, it was a few days shy of a year from our first big talk to when he actually popped the question, but only 5 months from the beginning of the "after school/got a job" window opening.
We didn't really have an official timeline with an end date - it was more of the beginning of the true waiting timeline after he graduated.
FI and I have been together for 2.5 years. We moved in after being togther 6 months and we had a son togther after being together 2 years. We never had a "timeline". We just always knew we would share our lives togther and openly spoke of marriage but things just happened easily with us. We got engaged about 1 1/2 months ago.
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I'm wondering how long it took your FI/DH to propose after you talked specifically about engagement and that your FI/DH was going to propose? AND Did you agree on a timeline together that he stuck to?
Please select ONE choice for EACH question
I know everyone's different, but curiosity never hurt anyone... only a cat once! Thaaanks! :)