(Closed) Engaged/Married Bees: How long did it take?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How long from talking about marriage seriously to proposing, and were there any timelines?
    < 3 months : (4 votes)
    5 %
    3-5 months : (13 votes)
    17 %
    5-7 months : (12 votes)
    15 %
    7-9 months : (6 votes)
    8 %
    9-11 months : (9 votes)
    12 %
    > 1 year (please comment how long) : (20 votes)
    26 %
    -------- : (1 votes)
    1 %
    He stuck to a timeline he/we set : (11 votes)
    14 %
    He broke a timeline we set together : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’m not sure about “talking about engagement” but from the time we went ring shopping together and the proposal was six months.

    He gave me a timeline and he stuck to it too. He said “by X month” and he proposed in the middle of X month. lol

    Post # 4
    Member
    3012 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    J and I spoke about marriage briefly.  We were dating for about 1 year and 3 months when he proposed.  There was no timeline.  No pressure.  None of my mentioning it.  He did it on his own when he wanted to.  Only pressure he felt was from his family at one point because he used his great grandmother’s ring.  Other than that, I’m completely happy that we never even had to have a discussion about getting married and it was his idea.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1049 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1998

    We started talking really seriously and ring shopping sometime at the end of 2006 and actually got engaged in the beginning of 2008. There was no timeline. It just happened when it was time. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 6
    Member
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Um… probably about a month? Maybe 6 weeks. Not very long at all. We had been dating about 3 years and no, we did not set a timeline.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We dated for 7.5 years and on our 7 year anniversary he proposed. We talked seriously for 2 years. But leave it to him and he will say 1 year. We have been engaged for 6 months and finally getting married next month.

    Post # 8
    Member
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Our “timeline” was pretty informal. It didn’t really make sense to get engaged while he was still in school, so I knew it would be coming sometime after he graduated. We had talked about it for 1-2 years at that point.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    He proposed after we had been dating a year (we’re in our 30s if that matters).  

    I don’t know what you mean by “talking about marriage seriously.”  We talked about marriage being important to both of us with in the first couple of months of dating.  Over time our conversations about marriage and the future got more serious, but there wasn’t a pivotal conversation (in my mind).  

    Neither one of us had a timeline to be engaged.  I didn’t ask a lot of specific questions because it was important to me to be surprised. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I consider myself to have been “waiting” for 2 years by the time he finally proposed. We were engaged not long after our 5 year anniversary and we started talking about marriage around the 3 year mark. The first time we went ring shopping was in March 2009 and we purchased my ring in May 2010. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I waited for about a year and a half. He brought marriage up to me a few months before our 4 year anniversary. I had been thinking about it my head, you know taking that next step, but I never brought it up to him before.

    So I pressed him a bit, saying I felt the same way about our future and when he thought he would be ready. He said, within a year. He proposed a year and a half after that converstaion. It was really stressful, and I wasn’t always the happiest bee. I felt like ever since that original chat I was sitting on pins and needles waiting for a proposal.

    Apparently I took that “within a year” thing way more seriously than he did… So I voted that he broke his timeline, but I guess he didn’t, since he never viewed it the same way I did.

    Communication is key people!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 12
    Member
    3302 posts
    Sugar bee

    I chose other-

    We started speaking about marriage in April of 2009
    I didn’t start waiting until December 2009
    He didn’t feel ready until November 2010
    He proposed in February 2011

    Technically I been waiting for over a year but my FI wasn’t on board until this past November. So it took 14 months, but when he realized he was ready, it took him 3 months and that was because he didn’t have thre money for a ring and was waiting for his incmoe tax return.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3302 posts
    Sugar bee

    Oh and he would not give me a timeline- just incase if it fell through and he wanted me to be surprised. He thought a timeline would ruin it. I did give myself timelines though to ease the waiting.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    The first time FI talked specifically about getting engaged was Halloween 2009. I told him I didn’t want to get engaged until I had graduated, and I said I would let him know when I felt ready. I think it was June 2010 when I decided I was ready, and we started looking at rings. It took about a month before we found one, and then FI made me wait about a month once he had the ring. I think he did it just because he thought my impatience was funny :).

    Post # 15
    Member
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Since we seriously started considering marriage, it was about 6 months until he proposed.  We didn’t have any set timeline though.  We did go ring shopping together and he proposed about a month later.

    Post # 16
    Member
    260 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We’re big-time planners… we became an “official dating couple” on VDay 2009. In 6 months, we moved in and began remodeling the house. We added a bathroom in summer ’09. That went really well, so in fall’09 we started making plans to gut and remodel the kitchen and get engaged in 2010 and then get married in 2011 and then try for a baby. Everything has gone as planned so far, but with a few bumps along the way…

    After our 1 year dating anniversary, VDay’10, we started talking more explicitly about getting engaged and started looking at rings in spring ’10. We started the kitchen remodel in summer ’10, which was also when we were to get engaged. At this point, things got a little hairy…. my FI did a lot of the construction work himself and he was just plain exhausted, so I had to learn how to be patient with him and figure out how to gently remind him of “the bigger picture” (us getting engaged)! We actually had a fight about mid summer (when the house was completely torn up and we were on the fritz from the remodel, but when we had “planned” to take a weekend to ourselves to go to the beach and get engaged).

    We made up, though, and I decided it was better to not worry about planning time for ourselves and just let things unfold…. in a few weeks, he suprised me with a romantic dinner and a request to “spend forever with him”!!!! The next day we went to buy a ring together and in another week, when the ring arrived, he re-proposed to me on his knee in our new kitchen!! So, in July ’10, we were engaged (just about on schedule)! We will be married July’11 (and the kitchen is finished and paid off, so now we’re saving for the wedding and a baby ๐Ÿ™‚

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