Post # 1
So I have been dating a wonderful man for the last 2 years and since he is military we have been long distance for a year of it. I recently just moved in to where he is stationed and have only been up here for a month and a half. We’ve had several arguements over stupid stuff and as recently as a week ago about something on my Facebook from a “Meet Me” application he accused me of having an online dating profile when in reality I have no idea how that appeared on my profile. But the fight drug on much longer than it should have and left me with like practially begging and saying sorry even tho I tried to clarify that I really had no idea what it was and it took him hours to finally accept my statement. Well 2 days ago he apparently got an email from some anonymus email account about a conversation I had with a guy friend of mine I keep in contact with every now and then… we had a one night stand before I met my SO but never dated. We had some inapporpriate jokes which I can understand him getting upset over but he full blown accuses me of cheating on him and I was crying all night apologizing for virtually nothing and trying to clarify for the last 2 days but he wouldn’t really look at me let alone talk to me. Well we got to a better point last night and then his morning he went off on me about me having a close guy friend for the last year while I stayed behind to finish college and accused me of having a relationship with him when it wasn’t even close to anything like that. He was throwing water bottles and saying, “Fuck fuck fuck just move home” and everything. One point during the night he said, “I can’t even pay you enough to flirt with me.” which really bothers me. Needless to say I starting packing up, quit my job called my parents (which my dad is now flying in to help me drive home [20 hour drive]) and like 20 minutes after he finally told me to move out and already left for work texted me and told me to wait and well talk about it later and how sorry he was and all day about how I shouldn’t leave and how sorry he is. Both of my parents have come out and think how wrong is he for me considering our fighting history; I’m always the one to say sorry and such. So I came to the conclusion I want to go back home and figure things out for myself. If anything, I need a break but for the last 2 days he made me feel guilty and worthless for something I really didn’t have intentions of it coming across that I was cheating on him, wanted to, or be with anyone else. He kept telling me about how he wanted to vent when he’s angrily done that for the last 2 days and disregarding everything I’ve had to say and when we fight it feels like your being interrogated. I just feel like I need to go home and have some space from him and be my own individual for now and work things out that I have issues with. Anyone been in the same boat and what was your outcome?
Post # 3
….are you engaged?
ETA: There are a lot of growing pains when you first move in with someone. The extra fights might be because of that. It also sounds like he doesn’t trust you though, and trust is necessary for any relationship to work. If you feel like the trust issue can’t be fixed then I would leave. Taking a “break” almost always ends up in the couple breaking up and not getting back together. Which it doesn’t sound like would bother you. You need to decide if you love him enough to stick around, or if the lack of trust is too big of an issue and you should end things. I can’t really tell you what to do without more information.
Post # 4
@msuncontrollable: It’s simple. If you want your life to be this way, go back to him. People don’t change.
I don’t care if he’s stressed by his job (I know military life is stressful but not all soldiers act this way) or whatever excuse he comes up with. He sounds like he just goes crazy over nothing. There’s only so much you can do. I understand people having the occasional freak-out, but this guy isn’t behaving normally.
I feel for you, but at least you’re not married. I’d stay away from him.
Post # 6
@asscherlover: I have felt like for majority of our relationship that he doesn’t trust me although he says he does. It takes him a while to actually believe what I have to say.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I would be concerned if I were you. He sounds controlling and verbally abusive. That can only get worse…. Good luck xoxox
Post # 8
Yes, I think it’s best that you leave. This is not good. These trust issues will not go away.
Post # 9
so sorry hun. I think you are making the right decision by leaving though.
Post # 10
I think what you are doing is brave and the right move.. stay strong *hugs*
Post # 11
I’m sorry you’re going through that : ( I would leave. If a guy can’t trust you, it isn’t likely he is going to all of a sudden gain trust. He seems insecure, and I would get space and try to move on. It’s not fair to you to constantly have to beg for his forgiveness for things that you didn’t do (cheating).
Post # 12
Ugh…jealousy and controlling behavior is absolutely the worst habit a man can have and you are following the right instincts by leaving. Shut the door and do not look back.
He will apologize and call and promise to change, but he never will and you might as well lock yourself up in a cage because that is what your life will be like living with someone like that. You are doing the right thing.
There are a lot of men out there who could care less about what’s on your facebook and care more about making you happy on a daily basis than they do about the past. Go find one! You deserve better.
Post # 13
he threw shit at you while screaming obscenities….this man is NOT husband material.
game over, he loses.
go home and don’t look back.