Post # 1
My fiancé and I got engaged about a month ago and we know we want to have a small intimate wedding. We are going to have only 65 guests which means a lot of my parent’s cousins, extended family, etc. will not be invited to the wedding. Should we send paper engagement announcements to those people to let them know about our engagement? We aren’t having an engagement party but I thought they might still want a formal announcement. Some of the people we would send them to our people we only communicate with at funerals and through Christmas cards and other type of announcements, like graduation announcements. I Googled the etiquette protocol and it said you should only send engagement announcements to those you intend on inviting to the wedding and that you should send wedding announcements instead. But I almost feel it’s rude to just send a wedding announcement out of the blue a year from now… Thoughts?
Post # 3
Engagement announcements aren’t super common in my area or in my circles, so I may not be the best to give advice. However, I tend to agree with what you read. I think if I received an engagement announcement, I might be expecting a wedding invitation. I think it’s totally fine to send a wedding announcement after you’re married. 🙂
Post # 4
we don’t send formal engagement announcements in my area either.
i would say, only send to people you plan to invite, everyone else will hear it through the grapevine.
Post # 5
@Danni32388: Most people have gone astray from the old tradition of sending engagement announcements. First of all, it’s just one more thing to do … and pay for. But also, people now-a-days know so many people and have so many friends and such large families, that sending off engagement announcements becomes overwhelming. I’d say, skip it.
More specifically, though, if you do end-up sending out engagement announcements, I highly suggest only sending them to those people who are definitely invited to the wedding. Receiving a formal engagement announcement is a lot like receiving a Save the Date. It signals to people that they are being informed of the engagement and upcoming wedding because they see it as informal invite. How many hurt feelings will there be when your extended friends/family/coworkers received announcements but then no invite?
Hope this helps!
Post # 6
@Danni32388: Engagement announcements are properly made as a general public announcement rather than in formal targetted mailed “engagement announcements” which are seen as soliciting for gifts. The correct way to announce your engagement is verbally as a surprise announcement at the first party you hold after becoming engaged, followed by an announcement in the social pages of your local newspaper. In my opinion, with so many towns lacking anything like a local newspaper or social pages, the modern equivalent of the newspaper announcement is to post your status on your social media page. Any etiquette website that recommends sending engagement announcements is just plain wrong, and should be used cautiously if you are seeking any other advice since it may be wrong about that, too.
People who are likely to invite you to social events do need to know that you are engaged, since proper etiquette requires that they invite your fiance whenever they invite you. With luck these closer acquaintances will be at that party where you announce your engagement, or notice the status on your social media. People who are not likely to be sending you invitations to anything between now and your wedding should be sent a wedding announcement. They will not be disconcerted by receiving that news “out of the blue” since that is the proper way for such news to be spread.
Post # 7
@Danni32388: can’t you just put it on facebook? or, dear god pick up the phone and call them? put it in the paper???
Post # 8
As a “traditional” etiquette lover, I agree 100% with what @aspasia475: has written as Engagement Announcements in the Social Pages of the local Newspaper aren’t as common as they once were (still tho I believe a good choice for some)
As your Wedding Date is more than an year off in 2015, and you say that you exchange Christmas Cards with many of these people, you might want to consider either a Photo Christmas Card for 2014 or sending along a Photo of you and your Fiancé to announce the news to those you aren’t otherwise in contact with quite so frequently during the course of the year.
Neither of those would be seen as any inappropriate prompting for a gift, merely just you passing along the news of what is going on in your life / catching up
Hope this helps