(Closed) Engagement Anxiety

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@cincilover:  Mine just bought the ring, but I know what it looks like because I picked it out. I’m getting anxious and suspicious of every little thing he says, trying to hunt for clues. I just try to tell myself that if it’s from him it will be perfect and try (unsuccessfully) to be patient.

Post # 4
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@cincilover:  @aggiemae:  

First of all, congrats to BOTH of you that your SO has taken THE biggest step to become your Fiance 🙂 That is so wonderful!

I have anxiety too, both good and bad.  Good being I sit and wonder if he bought the ring, how he’s going to do it, how i will react, will my nails be done or chewed off like usual, amd I going to cry all my makeup off, etc. :-p silly stuff we all think about (or maybe just me) lol

But I have some bad anxiety too. He has two children (11 and 10) from another relationship. He and their mother have been split up for 10+ years and do not speak even over the phone, all contact is through the attorney generals office…and despite that, unfortunately she’s one of those that whats to make EVERYTHING miserable. So I’m worried about what she’s going to try to pull first when she finds out he’s proposed to someone else. My guess is try to petition for access to my assets to have his child support raised.

I hope your anxiety is good anxiety, and if it is its TOTALLY normal 🙂 I’m looking forward to hearing both of your proposal stories!

Post # 5
Member
4662 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

do you have any idea what his timeline is?

Could you ask him so it eases your nerves a bit and so you are not waiting indefinitely?

Post # 9
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@cincilover:  I’ve seen the stone that’s going in my ring (helped to pick it) but he wanted to choose the setting so I don’t k ow what it will turn out like, although he knows what my favourite setting would be (I’ve shown him photos, drawn diagrams etc! Yes I am weird), however I had a dream (nightmare) last night that he took me to go pick up the ring and it was this blinging monstrosity that had no resemblance to what I was hoping for (somehow they’d managed to put loads of diamonds INSIDE the shank as well) and the worst bit was the beautiful stone we had spent hours agonising over was practically invisible behind a barrage of gold and bling! Thankfully I woke up and it was all a dream but I didn’t realise how anxious I was getting over it!!

Post # 10
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@cincilover:  yes, I picked it out. I even tried it on once the diamond was set in it. It’s SO PRETTY! I didn’t want to give it back to him, but he wants the moment to be special so I gave in. 

I think I will get to see it again this weekend when we go to have it appraised. It’s even in a little box from the jeweler that has a light that comes on when you open it so that it sparkles like crazy!

 

Maybe some of the mystery is gone since I know what it looks like, but I really wanted to pick it out and have some say. (Control freak I guess.)

Post # 12
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

While I was waiting (weird! can’t believe i’m not anymore!) I would go through periods of anxiety and frustration, but then in between (usually after having open conversations with him about my feelings and getting reassurance and restoring my faith in him), I would calm down and just take things day by day. I had been in a pretty calm frame of mind with no freak-outs for 3 or maybe 4 weeks when he proposed. It was awesome, I’m happy that he didn’t propose in the middle of a week where I was all worked up about it.

Your SO will sense it. He’ll know if it’s the right time or not, but you can help yourself to relieve some anxiety by initiating open communication (not all conversations about it are bad or nagging!) so that you’re in a good, relaxed state of mind about it!

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