- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2015
Hi guys. I’m currently having some engagement/wedding frustrations. I think this is the best place to let my feelings out and to hear what you guys think. By the i’m patrick, pls bear with my bad english.
Fiance and i have been together in a relationship for 8 years now and have been engaged for almost a year. We have been thru a lot over the past 8years and had our own ups and downs but we managed to stay together.
I proposed to her about a year ago dec. of 2011 to be exact. It was the best day of my life. Hearing her say yes made me so happy. During our engagement we suffered some bumps along the way.
What frustrating me right now i that i don’t think i feel anywhere close to being engaged. I even remember a day after i proposed to her she said she was afraid to tell her mom and her siblings that she got engaged. I asked why and she said because her mom does not want her to get married anytime soon. (by the way she’s 25 and i’m 29 years old). I said why is that she said because her mom wants her to work first and her mom wants to see her become successful in he career as a nurse abroad before she gets married. I am getting frustrated because when ever i ask her whats her plans for us but she cant answer. Not even a date when to get married. When ever i try to talk to her about our engagement we often get to an arguement. When i ask her why not get married anytime soon she just says she want to work first to satisfy her mom and some of her siblings because thats what her family wants for her. I even asked her if we can talk to her mom and tell her we want to get married already but she does not want to. We never planned anything for the wedding yet when ever i try to initiate anything about the wedding we often argue. Sometimes she would answer that the reason why she does not want to marry is because she does not want to disappoint her mom because all of her mom’s dream for her would get ruined if she marries (her career being a nurse abroad). What i always tell her is that she can achieve those even if we marry and it would be better because we will do it together i mean i would help her out in achieving those goals.
I think she thinks she is getting caught in a choice between her family and me. I know i should not be that way and i always explain her that its not that. And that her family should not be disappointed and should instead be happy for her or us. She sometimes think im making her choose between me or her family. I explain that its not that and no choice between me or her family needs to be made because everything her mom wants for her we can achieve together and that i would be one of their family. I just dont get why she cant or afraid to disappoint her family when there is no reason to get disappointed to in the first place.
Right now im so frustrated that i am close to giving up already. She just says after she fulfills her moms dreams for her she would come back home to me after she works abroad and get married. But when i ask her how long she cant answer. It could take forever…. I really dont get it why cant i be a part of whatever her dreams or plans are and why shes so afraid of disappointing her parents. I feel like she wants me to wait and me not knowing if there is something to wait for. Also i remeber i asked her if everything will be ok with her family would she marry she said yes. But she does not even give me a chance to talk to her family about it.
I hope u understand my english or my grammar guys,thats the best explanation i can give i guess….
Need you opinions. Thanks….