Post # 1
So this has been bothering me for a while and I wanted to get some other bee’s opinions…
FH and I got engaged last March. Almost immediately, Future Mother-In-Law began pestering me to register and I could not, for the life of me, see what the big rush was. We had no plans for an engagement party and our wedding is next March.
We finally registered in June, which I still thought was pretty early. Right away FH’s grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins sent us a gift. A few of FIL’s friends and some of my parents friends also got us gifts. It was very nice of them and we certainly sent our thanks.
Almost every time we see the Future In-Laws, they always ask us if we’ve gotten any more gifts, especially after we sent our Save-The-Date Cards in September. We haven’t gotten anything, and don’t find it odd in the least. From my experience, if you get invited to an engagement party/bridal shower, you get a gift. Never have I just bought an engagement gift, except for my sister…but thats my sister.
My Future In-Laws are just appalled that their friends haven’t given us engagement gifts…I just don’t get why. Future Mother-In-Law says that she has ALWAYS bought engagement gifts for friends, their children, etc. So this means that Future In-Laws friends would buy us an engagement gift, a bridal shower gift, AND a wedding present??? Seems like quite the investment! My mom on the other hand is like me and FH, you buy a gift if invited to a party…
So just wanted to hear if anyone else buys engagement gifts for friends/family without there being a party? I just feel the Future In-Laws are being ridiculous….
Post # 3
No I don’t buy presents unless I’m invited. We also didn’t really receive any. We didn’t have an engagement party and we probably got like 3 cards in the mail.
Post # 4
Your IL’s are definitely being ridiculous. I’ve never purchased anyone an engagement gift. I’ve actually never even been to an engagement party. I guess they’re just not popular in my circle. The only person who I can see myself getting something for is my Maid/Matron of Honor when she gets engaged but that’s only because she’s my best friend.
Post # 5
We had congratulatory cards (just cards, no gift) from family on my side, a couple congratulatory emails from his side and one gift we know is on the way from his extended family. The gift we’re receiving feels unusual, but they’re wonderful people and really want to help us out. Ya can’t argue with that.
We are particularly close to this couple and they’ve been wonderful to my Fiance while he was deployed so there’s a history of generoisty. Maybe his family just does those things? Who knows. It’s still weird they asked you to register. That would have felt wrong to me as well. They’re probably just really, really excited for you.
ETA: Thinking back more my BFF got me a wedding planning guide as an engagement present, and took me out for dinner. She gives a bridal guide to all her friends who get engaged, but that’s not quite like registering for a gift.
Post # 6
@redhead46: Yup, we got a few cards from some friends also.
@UpstateCait: I’ve only been invited to 1 engagement party myself and I brought a gift.
It would be one thing if Future Mother-In-Law was the only one saying it because she is kind of ridiculous with a lot of things, but Future Father-In-Law also is chiming in, and hes usually more level headed and non-ridiculous.
Post # 7
We got engaged about a month ago. Our “party” consisted of a few friends going out to Applebees the night we got engaged.
We haven’t recieved any gifts, or even just congratulation cards… So nope no engagement anything here.
Post # 8
I think it depends on the family/region. We didn’t have an engagement party or anything, but all my grandparents, aunts and uncles got us engagement gifts. We got a microwave, set of cookware, wine glasses, some pretty vases and decorative bowls, picture frames, etc. It was really nice and thoughtful of them and something I hadn’t expected, but my mom says that is what they always do. My extended family is all in Long Island/NYC, but not sure if that matters.
Post # 9
Wow, that is so nice of them! We didn’t receive any engagement gifts (besides a few wedding magazines from my friends) and I’ve never given engagement gifts. It must be a regional thing.
Post # 10
Never heard of that UNTIL one of FI’s friends gave us a $50 gift card for a restaurant right after we got engaged with an “engagement card”. Oh Hallmark, you’ll come up with any excuse for people to buy a card… ANYWAY, We thought it was nice, but didn’t understand the point. That was the only “engagement” gift we received. Funny thing is, that same friend was invited to the shower, and didn’t send a gift to that. We figure she thought she did her part with the gift card.
Post # 11
@ChemistryBride: I think its got to be a family-specific thing. My family is from north jersey, FH’s family is from Philly. None of my family got us anything for our engagement but his did. They say thats what they “always” do but FH is the first of all his siblings/cousins to get married…
Post # 12
I got an “engagement beer” the night I told my BFF and her husband that Fiance & I were getting married. 🙂 Also, she gave me a bunch of wedding magazines to get me started, which was great.
We made a registry before our e-Party. But we didn’t know we were getting an e-Party when we made it, I was just following the “timeline”. We’re not expecting engagement gifts.
Post # 13
We got cards and 2 gifts that i was shocked and exited to get. It was not expected bc we did not have a party. I think if someone want to give you something great but defently not expecet . I got a lenox ring holder from my moms best friend for when im cooking.
Post # 14
@orangebride10: Yes we weren’t expecting any gifts either, a few people bought us small items right after we got engaged. Future Mother-In-Law didn’t start bugging us to register until after we set our date and booked our venue, like a month later.
Now my bridal shower invites went out, so I no longer have to have the saaaame conversation with her every time I see her!
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
@Stammie16: I guess at least if these people don’t get you a shower or wedding gift, your Future Mother-In-Law will hound them!
Hope your shower is amazing 🙂