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When we first got engaged and started dreaming about the wedding, showing off my ring, etc., it was fun. But the last 6 months to a year have just been really stressful. I think newlywed bliss will be more fun than being engaged :o)
I loved being engaged, but I'm definitely happier now that we're married! We are now working on achieving the things we dreamed up for our lives during our engagement - we couldn't before because we had to plan for the wedding. Now we're travelling, shopping for our family car, planning renovations for our house, planning for babies...
All of which are more exciting than the wedding. Don't get me wrong: the wedding day was very important to us, and we had our dream wedding. But that wedding was more about starting our lives as a family unit and I love to see those dreams being pursued and achieved.
Well for the first year it was because I did little planning! Now I'm stressed out and just want to settle into married life.
I have a little over two months of torture to go though. :-(
My engagement has been pretty awesome, but I think that married life will be even better!!! Once all of the stress from planning a wedding is over, getting settled into our marriage will be awesome :]
My engagement has been great. It probably has been the best time of my life, but a lot of other things factor into that. Career, etc.
I LOVE being engaged!
I love planning the wedding, I feel very lucky for the people I have in my life they are all wonderful and I love dreaming, thinking, and planning everything wedding!
I am so excited and looking forward to be marrying my FI in September. We bought a house together last year, live kinda like college kids, but with grown-up jobs. I love my life. I am very very blessed. :)
That said, it's life! When I was first engaged it was fun to show off my ring, talk about the future with my FI, but now we have been planning for 15 months and I am exhausted/stressed. My Mom has no interest in helping me so that's out. My job sucks/is a stressfest, so I do my best 45 hours a week and then try to soak up all the good I can when I am not working.
My point? Life is good and we are getting married in September, yay! I am also planning the wedding mostly on my own (FI gladly help if asked), job hunting, trying to lose weight, run a house etc etc. Life is life, but a bit more exciting right now:)
I think my honeymoon in Napa after the wedding will be the happiest, most relaxed week of my life :)
I LOVE being engaged...but the wedding planning and the stress of it all does put a little bit of a damper on all of it...I only wish that we had gotten engaged like a year ago and just enjoyed being engaged for a while instead of jumping head first straight into planning.
Being engaged has definitely been the best time of our relationship. However, both of us have had horrible jobs this year that have made the rest of our lives not so fun. I agree, married life will be even better!
the stressfull part is obviously the money, cant wait til its over in 10 days and we can begin saving again!
I've always been the kind of person who has a hard time just living in the moment and not getting stuck in my head wondering about the future or running over things that have happened in the recent past...
And engagement, by definition, is kind of an "in-between" time, so I voted "more stressful," for a few reasons...
At first it was SO fun to try on tons of dresses, constantly flip through bridal magazines, and envision The Day. The initial fantasy and "whoa, this is ME now" feeling was great. But as real decisions, deadlines, budget concerns, and opinions have taken over, it's added more stress.
Wedding planning has challenged my personality. I'm *terrible* at keeping in touch with friends and family, and too damn lazy to call important people back--like my bridesmaids and other family members who are asking me questions. I feel guilty at being a deadbeat about communicating and deadlines, so just keeping in touch with people has felt like a list of chores hanging over my head.
On the one hand I want to just do it already so we can get on with "real life"! On the other hand, I've heard that engagement is kind of a precious time to really appreciate, so I sometimes wish we had a little more time to take it at a more leisurely pace.
Well, that answer was clear as mud!
"I only wish that we had gotten engaged like a year ago and just enjoyed being engaged for a while instead of jumping head first straight into planning."
That's how I feel!
Marriage has been a happier time for us! Engagement had lots of happy times and fun moments but now we still have the euphoria of wow, look what we did with the stress that sometimes came with wedding planning.
Our relationship is the best it's ever been. I feel more secure in things and I think that makes a big difference.
Planning a wedding/reception is certainly stressful, but it's not been that bad (yet).
@naturegirl-haha...I have never been quoted before! Thanks :) but its SOOO true.
being married is so much better than being engaged. being engaged sucked. my friend just got engaged over the weekend and as much as I'm happy for her and her fiance I'm also thinking "oh you don't know what you have ahead of you".
This period kind of stinks, but it has much more to do with starting a new job than with the wedding. Planning has been somewhat fun, though it has been stressful. Adding it to job stress hadn't been cool, though.
i think it's a mix of both. we purposely didn't start planning for the first two months after we were engaged. we were busy with moving into our house and wanted to enjoy that level in our relationship before we through ourselves into planning.
we definitely have had several arguments-wedding related... that have not been pretty, but definitely stronger and better for it! :) the wedding planning stress definitely takes a toll on a couple, but i think it's just another testament to why the two of you are getting married (assuming you've come out of it alive and together!)
we are all done with the major things, besides small diy projects, sending out invites, and day of activities... and are just trying to enjoy the "countdown" for the next three months or so :)
we can't WAIT to be married... and are loving every moment of this engagement period [now].
More stressful. We've known for a while that we were going to get married; we just made it official. So much has happened since we got engaged - namely FI's father passing away. We're both having job issues. AND we planned a wedding in 3 months.
But I think the most important part isn't that we're getting married feeling like we're in happy fluffy rainbow land, but that we're getting married while supporting each other through some major stress and tough shizznit. We're building a great foundation for a marriage.
It was really nice and wonderful for al of like 2 or 3 months then wedding planning hit Ive only had one hysterical breakdown over absolutely nothing for absolutely no reason so i think im foing pretty good lol
I can't wait to stop obsessing on wedding dresses and go back to not worrying about what I wear or how I look everyday. That one issue drove me insane for 6 months and I swear I have more grey hairs now than before! I just want to get on with my normal life and start worrying about things that actually matter.
as of right now nothing has changed, but i've only been engaged for a few weeks, and we had talked about the wedding for so long before that i think we skipped out on that whole 'feature' of new engagements.
i'm excited to actually start planning, but since we're so far off i doubt that'll happen for a bit...
The last few months have been pretty hectic and stressful. But it was pretty fun in the beginning of our engagement when there wasn't so much to do in so little time!!
10 more daysssssssss! I can't wait till our Maui honeymoon-- I need a vacation! 
For us it has definitely been more stressful. A big part of it was that we moved twice in that time period, lived with my in-laws for a couple of months in between those moves, FI started med school, I'm learning a new language and can't work...and on top of all that planning a wedding long-distance.
I am definitely not feeling the "cloud nine" feeling that I expected to feel. At first it was so much fun, picking the venue and everything but then once that got out of the way, then I started to feel the pull of the parents and the financial strain...cant wait till the newlywed period!
I don't really consider my engagement and wedding planning to be my real life at all. Life is the other crap that happens. There are good periods and bad periods of actual life stuff - health issues, job issues, money issues, etc. - that pretty much trump all the wedding stuff. So to answer the question, no it's not the happiest time of my life. It's just like "real" life because real life doesn't stop because I'm engaged.
Our engagement was a freaking drama zone with DH's family. CONSTANT. We'd think we would have a quiet moment and then MIL would rear her ugly head. We couldn't even enjoy my graduation party, DH's birthday or our engagement party. Looking back, it was ridiculous.
I answered yes, but there are a lot of caveats. The time RIGHT after I got engaged (first month) was definitely not great. I was dealing with less-than-thrilled parents, which broke my heart, I was dealing with trying to figure out a reasonable budget, trying to find a venue on the budget, etc. I actually had 2 crying jags with my FI... the first two times he'd ever seen me cry (me = not emotional).
But, ever since my fam got on board and we set a budget and found a venue its been awesome. Caveat #2 though is that the "awesome" isn't really related to the wedding at all. After we got engaged we bought a house together and moved in together and THAT has rocked my socks off. Living with FI is about 234235x better than not living with him. :)
If we could do it over again, we'd tell folks up front that when we decide what to do, you'll know. It got so stressed that we canceled the first date, so that we'd have some time to actually have an engagement period - though that created stress of its own (I wasn't happy about the delay).
Second time around, however, we kept everyone out of the loop, unless we needed to ask something specific. So no one knows any details (clothes, flowers, etc. etc.) outside of date, time, locations, and I couldn't be happier with that.
It's been totally stressful, but it's also brought us closer together. So, I suppose there's a rainbow at the end of the stressful tunnel.
It's been a blast so far, honestly. That's why we decided on such a long engagement. I can plan one thing at a time with no stress and just enjoy all this. Life has thrown in some curveballs to say the least, but it has little to do with the engagement.
I think the first week of our engagement was awesome...it was just surreal, and it was awesome telling people that we were getting married! Everyone was so excited for us, and it was just a very blissful time as was the actual day I got engaged.
A week later, we booked our venue, and it all went downhill. From that point on, I've never had a more stressful time in my life than the period I was engaged. I hated it. Being married is a zillion times more fun!
Engagement was super stressful. Got engaged in 7/09 and planned the two weddings for 11/09 and 4/10. (The 11/09 wedding couldn't be postponed a few months because it was in India and we had work schedules to deal with. So we got engaged and within one week we found out we had four months 'til the wedding-eek!!!) So we had a short engagement and two weddings to plan. We are MUCh happier now as newlyweds! :)
Definitely more stressful! I started off thinking I was planning a wedding in NYC and now I'm planning a wedding 3,000 miles away! Even though I have 14 months, there's just a lot to do in really big bursts and I'm just praying I don't pick a vendor that is going to screw up!!! Sigh. I'm really happy with my venue though and everything looks like it's going well, but still. I'm nervous. But I'm excited/happy to be engaged and that I am getting married and all that, so it is bittersweet I guess.
The month after being engaged... YES... but then the wedding plans start and you get viewpoint from your mother and his mother and now your fighting about what should be at a wedding and then how to pay for it and then every little thing. Not really liking it. But now that i'm married and don't have to deal with wedding planning, it's great.
I think just getting through wedding planning shows a lot of about what is in store for your future as a couple. It got us both to compromise. I know it got my DH to realized that I come first and not his mother.
Would I plan another wedding? My friend's wedding, sure. If god forbid, I have to plan my own wedding again... hell no. I'm paying someone to plan it. Anyway, I don't have to think about that right now. LOL
the DAY after getting engaged, yes very fun and giddy ... well ok the week...
but the second we started planning it all went to crap. stress city!!!!
i cannot wait until september so this is all behind me and im finally married and can start the new chapter in my life with toes in the water and A** in the sand in jamaica.
seriously i think this is like becoming a parent sometimes - and im giving birth to a marriage. everyone says its wonderful, then it happens to you and while yes the "glow" is great, you still have fat ankles from all the water youre retaining, freak out over a shade of yellow, and is crying or pissy all the time because hormones going haywire! :)
To be honest, life wasn't go great for me when we were engaged. One of my biggest regrets about the wedding is not having a short engagement. 14 months was WAY too long for me, and by the time the last few months rolled around, I was sressed beyond belief, and I put too much pressure on myself for things to be perfect because we had waited 14 months for this day. I could have planned the shin dig in 6 months and been done with it. I wouldn't have had so much time to go back and forth on things, and deal with the insane family drama, which was constant.
I kind of want to throw ourselves another wedding for just close friends and family in our backyard as a casual celebratory party. I LOVED our actual wedding day. I really did. It was truly amazing. BUT, I didn't really enjoy much of the planning at all because of all the pressure.
And let me put it this way, I'm a PLANNER. I LOVE this stuff. Planning your own wedding is just too emotionally exhausting, though.
Being engaged = planning a wedding = stressing about money = stressing about family/friends = not fun! Lol it was fun at the beginning when we go to start thinking about it all and showing off the ring and just knowing that we would be together, but I can't even tell you the relief we felt the day of the wedding because we knew all of the stress of the wedding planning would be over and we could just enjoy ourselves :)
Happiest time of my life! Short engagement (3 1/2 months)=happy engagement. It's like the new doesn't have time to wear off and before we know it we'll be all excited about being all married :o) 9 days to go!
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