Post # 1
its may and i just got engaged! my older sister is getting married in july. my fiancee’s younger sister is getting married in november. needless to say its a crazy fantastic year! my predicament comes from this…
my future sister-in-law’s wedding coming up in november has family flying in from all parts of the world (read: flights from hong kong, china to honolulu, hawaii). we dont want to burden our family members with affording trips to hawaii twice. my fiancee and i also discussed having a small wedding (10 people). so this would be the perfect opportunity – convenient since they are in town – to host a celebration of our own with the entire family.
i read on another site…”All of the people invited to the engagement party should be invited to the wedding. Those invited to engagement parties usually assume they will be invited to the wedding and may be extremely offended if they’re not. Sometimes, though, the wedding will be a small family-only affair and the engagement party will be a big bash. In that case, let those invited to the engagement party know so there won’t be any surprises.”
my question is… what does the wording on the engagement invitation look like so as to make it clear that we’re pretty much going to practically elope shortly afterward?
Post # 3
Instead of having an engagement party, could you have a “just married” party and invite all of the people after you have eloped?
Post # 4
thanks for the response. i guess the idea is that all the family will be in the area for his sister’s wedding. we won’t be getting married until probably early next year. so a post-party would be nice but then family would have to make the trip (and expense) of flying down again. we’re trying to avoid that. we’re trying to save our family those expenses. we’ve pretty much made up our mind that we would like to do this. we’re not looking for alternative ideas… just for help on how to word the engagement invitation to let our engagement party guests know that the wedding will be very very small.
Post # 5
I think the first thing you need to do is talk to your Future Sister-In-Law and her Fiance. This will be their wedding weekend, and while I am a firm believer that you only get one day, having your engagement party during their wedding festivities may offend them.
Post # 6
I agree with @shaydenise. You really need to clear this with you Future Sister-In-Law before you move forward. I would be very upset if I were her.
Post # 7
While I understand your motivation, I have to agree with shaydenise that you should definitely talk to your Future Sister-In-Law and her Fiance first. They may or may not be upset if you host a party during their wedding weekend so it would be best to clear it with them before making plans.
Post # 8
I would warn you against trying to do a “double whammy” wedding where you get everyone to come to your engagement party because they are in town for her wedding.
this can only lead to hurt feelings and frusterated guests.
I second the “just married” family-reunion type party. You could have it next Spring…then it isn’t getting outshined or outshining anyone elses day in the sunshine!