Post # 1
So here is my lovely stressful situation… FI and I got engaged on St. Patty’s day, yay!! Soon after I went to my parents to inquire about a budget, and immedietly they began to act very stressed… After two weekds my parents finally said they’d figure out 3,000 or so, more if they could, of course it’s all contingent on selling a boat, etc… but I think they will figure it out somehow. Other family may contribute a little, and FI and I could probably come up with 3 or 4 ourselves if needed… but I really don’t want to dip into our personal funds as we are about to purchase a home.
Among other things my parents have caused me more stress than I ever imagined, my dad has not understood at all why I don’t wish to wear my mothers dress (it looks a good bit like Kate Middletons, other than no V-Neck, rather a turtle neck), it is not appropriate for the casual mountain wedding I am hoping for…
My FI is determined that he wants to marry in April (2013) where as I could see myself happily getting it all done in time for this upcoming september/october, as a very budget DIY wedding… I wish he would be flexible. If my parents were being normal about this a year would be fine, but it feels like to me I don’t want a year to worry about it 🙁 there’s already way too many opinions from friends and the like, I feel more stressed thinking about the task of planning a wedding than I ever imagined. Did anyone experience something similar?
Post # 3
@futuremrsmazhari: I just wanted to say longer is probably better, because it gives your parents more time to come up with the money. My parents didn’t come out with numbers for their contributions until 8 months and 10 months after we got engaged. We were planning on a 2 year 3 month engagement, which is good because we would have had a much much simpler wedding without the added funds (not that there is anything wrong with that, we just prefered a formal affair). And it would be terrible if they couldn’t sell the boat and ended up giving nothing.
Post # 4
@asscherlover: You’re probably right, I guess my thinking was to get all the stress over with and not spend the next year worrying about money and the wedding, I guess my engagement length really isn’t that long, it’s just stressing me out!
Post # 5
I say 1 year is perfect. Gives you time to be budget friendly and do all your diy projects.
Post # 6
I think that its not neccessiarly your parents role to contribute to your wedding and if you want to get married you should be coming up with the money for yourselves. They should give what they can but you should not be depending on them to fund the majority of your wedding and they definitey should not be stressing to provide the money for you. Save up until you can afford it. That way you can do things your way including not wearing your mom’s dress.
Post # 7
@SkiBunny: They really want to pay is the problem. FI and I are bankers, so for young folks we do pretty well and we could save up in time for the wedding pretty easily, but when I suggested this my dad said I didn’t love him, and hung up on me… So it’s been extra complicated!!
@naturalysam: I think you’re probably right!
Post # 8
I am really glad we waited a year! At first we wanted a short engagment, but life got in the way and the first available was Apirl 2012, we had gotten engaged Feb 2011. I am now so so happy its been a little over a year. The year has flown by and it gave me time to not stress, we did a lot of DIY and were able to take our time planning. The planning has been SO much fun, I almost dont want the planning part to end, but I am really excited about our wedding this saturday 🙂 So take your time, relax and enjoy it b/c it will be here before you know!!!
As far as your budget goes, sounds like you need to just budget for what you are willing to put into it and can not really count on $ from your parents right now. I love small weddings, they are a lot more personal, its what we are doing too 🙂