(Closed) Engagement Parties

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We threw one for ourselves and specified no gifts, just company. We bought beer, soda, and barbeque, and spent about $300.

Post # 4
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My mother and stepfather will be hosting our party this summer. We are going to do a bbq and just have beer and wine. I doubt we’ll spend more than a few hundred bucks all told. 

Post # 5
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

my parents and sister are hosting, but we are splitting the costs (parents buy the food and we’ll buy the boose).  I think we’ll spend about less than $500 depending on how many people show up; we are having a co-ed engagement party.

Post # 7
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have to say…I don’t believe that forcing a wedding party into paying for an engagement party is any way appropriate nor proper in terms of etiquette. An engagement party is intended to announce the engagement, toast the couple, and allow friends and family from both sides to meet – I will actually be using that evening as an opportunity for my fiance and I to ask our friends to be a part of our wedding, and will not be formally asking anyone to be in the wedding until that date. I do not blame you for having an objection. If the sister of the bride would like to throw an engagement party for the couple, that is a wonderful thing, but she should understand that the financial burden is not to be distributed. Throwing an engagement party is not what bridesmaids and groomsmen sign on for…as a bridesmaid several times over, I can attest to just how expensive it gets to begin with!

I would suggest your fiance casually speak with other members of the wedding party to get their take. If others object, it might be worthwhile to explain to the sister that each member of the party will do what they can to contribute, but with many other wedding expenses to come and with personal expenses to take care of on top of it (including your own wedding) that it may not be possible for everyone to contribute the full amount desired.

 

Again, I am shaking my head over here. So unheard of in my book. And highly inappropriate, but that’s just my take. 

Post # 8
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

It is OK to tell her what you can afford right now.  That does sound like a very expensive party.  Maybe it is just in my area but engagement parties aren’t that common and if a couple does have one, the bridal party does not pay for it, it’s either the couple or the parents of the couple.

Post # 9
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Certainly do not bring a gift.  That is documented etiquette that gifts aren’t given at this party.

Post # 10
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

I can honestly say that I’ve never ever been to an engagement "party". I’ve been to a gathering of people at a restaurant to celebrate someone’s engagement (and everyone paid for their own), but personally – and this may be just me – I think they’re … I don’t even know … pompous? Something laid pack is cool, I guess. And asking the bridal party to pay is downright rude. That’s like saying "it’s my birthday, give me money so I can have a party." But perhaps I’m older and don’t get caught up in all of the "bridal" stuff. Heck, my family had to force me to have a shower.

Post # 12
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

That’s outrageous!  When your FI was invited to be part of the wedding party, were the expectations outlined?  It seems a bit much – will they also expect contributions for the shower and bachelor parties?

Engagement parties are optional shindigs, often thrown by the couple or family members and certainly non-gift.  We were engaged just prior to Thanksgiving, so our family took the opportunity to toast us then.  It was absolutely perfect – no extra fuss and no one strong-armed into paying for it! 

The topic ‘Engagement Parties’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors