Post # 1
We’ve been engaged for three months and are not getting married until June-May 2010. I never really wanted an Engagement party, but my mother as graciously offered to host it. My fiance and myself are footing the bill ourselves for our wedding and truthfully monetary gifts would be great.
is it rude to wait to post our registry until after the party? Maybe we could just post one of our registries
Post # 3
I’m not sure what is done "traditionally" or is "appropriate etiquette," but I think you can wait to provide all the registry information. One thing to consider, some things you register for now may not be available closer to your wedding. (I’m recalling an experience a friend had with registering at a store and then finding a lot of her stuff wasn’t available when people went to purchase items from the registry closer to the wedding- something about changes in season or such?) If there’s anything you really want, you may want to consider making that registry the one that’s available. Sorry I can’t be more help!
Post # 4
I had people ask about my registry before my engagement party, so my FI and I made one. It was a bad idea. By the time it got closer to the wedding we didn’t want some of the stuff we had registered for so early in the game. We wound up returning a bunch of the gifts we got at the engagement party.
It’s so early I would actually advise waiting. I don’t think it’s rude at all.
Post # 5
We registered before our engagement party. A lot of gifts were sent from the registry from guests who were unable to attend the party. A few guests brought gifs from it to the party itself, some didn’t bring anything, and some brought cute gifts they thought of on their own. I think it’s a good idea – some people want to bring gifts. Remember, though, the engagement gifts tend to be smaller ones ($25-$75 range, typically). Things like pizza stones, wok sets, a dishware set, a small appliance like a toaster are common. Those are not things you will change your mind on. Just because you start your registry doesn’t mean it’s the final copy. You don’t have to register for everything, but it’s polite to have something down in case people want to give a gift. Remember, though.. don’t advertise the registry for the engagement party. Gifts are not required and should not be expected. It’s also considered rude to open the gifts during the e-party – since gifts are not expected, not everyone brings one and therefore those who didn’t would feel badly if you opened gifts. If you do get gifts, don’t forget the thank you cards!
Congrats and good luck!
Post # 6
I don’t think you should register before the engagement party. I don’t think it’s customary to receive gifts during an engagement party – so don’t expect it. But if you do receive some, just be grateful!
According to Emily Post,
"Engagement gifts have never been obligatory and are not expected from casual friends and acquaintances. Still, they are becoming customary in some parts of the country, usually given to the couple by family members and close friends. In this case, the couple sets the gifts aside and does not open them during the party. If the gifts are opened in front of all, those who did not bring a gift are made to feel uncomfortable."